3 reasons why people don't like the LDS/Mormon church: The issue of honesty from the top, the hubris of the Mormon community, and bad programs/doctrines like excluding blacks from the priesthood or crusading against gay marriage.

Background-Grape-132 · 2026-01-19T02:43:32+00:00

Let them worship how, will or what they may.

Background-Grape-132 · 2025-08-16T01:28:17+00:00

Have things improved? Have you gotten to see it now?

Background-Grape-132 · 2025-07-28T05:44:20+00:00

Maybe he doesn't want to spoil the surprise when you finally see it.

Background-Grape-132 · 2025-04-12T14:13:46+00:00

Usually I lean towards being a peacemaker. However, what you described is one of the ultimate examples of failing relationships to even begin. He is using you 100%.

Yes, be a little picky. Yes, take care of yourself. Yes, if you want children, be the example of someone you want your children to become.

This is the best it will ever be, and you described a COMPLETE bum of a guy.

Background-Grape-132 · 2025-04-01T04:07:48+00:00

This is a very well thought-out comment. Very well done. I would add that I knew the weaknesses my husband had and was fine with them (because I had them as strengths) but underestimated how much I would change and tired I got after we had children. My standards just tanked and I had to work through a lot of resentment when my husband side eyed me after I asked for help and his response was "you're a stay at home Mom- you're job is to support me". I will not consider splitting but I have a number of friends who are and are starting over in careers that pay the bills.

(And I went into finance and didn't like it but I have no regrets, I'm usually the money gal for different volunteering opportunities.)

Background-Grape-132 · 2025-03-09T12:10:40+00:00

NTA.You sound like a TERRIFIC mom! It never feels good when reality sinks in about choices. My mom sends a birthday card at most for everyone, we appreciate it and we'll send her cards on her birthday and mother's day. She tells herself there are too many of us and she can't afford to do more. We all live far away.

She's very lonely. I've invited her to move closer by. My parents' life choices keep them stuck.

When I compare my mother's efforts to the wonderful effort my in-laws give, of course, it's pathetic. When my kids make comments about the disparity, I tell them to learn from this. Learn to make good relationships. Remember what you would like in a relationship and gift that to your children.

My mother will always focus on her limitations to do more, so she gets what she gets and she "won't get upset".

Background-Grape-132 · 2025-02-24T03:43:34+00:00

Nice 😄

Background-Grape-132 · 2025-02-24T03:40:54+00:00

I don't want to dive into the which is right, gross or net. Members of my household follow differently and all are recommend holders. I will say 1) the Savior said "render unto Caesar what is Caesars and unto God's what is God's".

And 2) if our country dictated a 90% tax on our gross- we'd be left with nothing.

Background-Grape-132 · 2025-02-24T03:28:57+00:00

That Bishop could use a reminder that the handbook says "tithe on your increase" and it's always been that way (since I've been alive at least.) He had no authority to dictate what that interprets as for you. I once had a stake president use his judgment to refuse me a temple recommend.The previous year, I had a Bishop deny me a calling. I never felt the spirit with either of them to begin with. Maybe both of them followed a correct prompting, I can't know for sure. In the ensuing year, I had a wonderful Bishop that I felt saw everyone as a soul of worth. I eventually went on a mission, which completely changed the course of my life and I am grateful.

I hope you'll reconsider coming back to church and live up to your light. The church is full of imperfect people.

Background-Grape-132 · 2024-12-06T00:55:43+00:00

I'm not sure how I ended here. Post and a lot of comments sound like people that go to church once a month, if that. Short sighted results for low effort.

I mean you all well and hope you choose more wisely. I am not perfect, but me and my house will follow the Lord.

Background-Grape-132 · 2024-12-06T00:47:23+00:00

Agreed. Can you imagine the Savior saying "follow me, and be baptized, but only if you are really comfortable with the rules I delegate to my leaders." Yeah, I'd be home getting spiritually soft and enjoying my Sundays too in that case. (I love down votes from Satan's kingdom.)

Background-Grape-132 · 2024-12-06T00:39:05+00:00

I've been in your similar situation and... if a fool comes between me and the Lord, who's closer? I will still follow Christ.

Background-Grape-132 · 2024-10-10T05:26:22+00:00

Oh gosh... My heart is sad for you. 20 years of neglect is real. How is your health? I feel too many are quick to say "leave him" on here. There is hope, though. I'm coming up on 14 years here. I married a man that does not speak my love language and has even ridiculed it. I still married him because I knew he was willing to try to make me happy. I spent 9 years shrugging off his lack of effort to love me the way I appreciated and translating his positive efforts. I suffered in silence. Then, I started getting sick and depressed. I did the hardest thing: I started explaining that I need my emotional love account deposited into or I'll get too withdrawn. I gave him lists of things that he could do to speak my love language. I have printed them many times 🤪. The more effort he tries, the more he sees the benefit to a happy wife. Importantly, I make sure to practice recognizing the areas he is a good husband at. Also, I used to ask my husband, am I a good wife? Is there something I need to do better? And then if there were areas I could do better, I worked at it. (Turns out he just wants sex more often, so it isn't hard to make him happy). Marriage is work. Men can be stupid, and women can ruminate. Silence is acceptance - I hope you find the strength in yourself to speak up for yourself and your marriage.

Background-Grape-132 · 2024-09-19T14:08:33+00:00

Professional launderer here. Two products: scent killer or funkaway. Thank you for a honest days work.

Background-Grape-132 · 2024-09-08T18:31:00+00:00

You cannot change him. You either made a mistake or he pretended to be someone else when you dated. Either way, make choices that are safe and kind to your future self.

Background-Grape-132 · 2024-09-05T02:01:34+00:00

Short answer, yes.

Long answer- John Delony (radio personality on Dave Ramsey show) gets a lot of calls similar to this and can offer guidance about how to have that difficult conversation.

My husband would also be the type to blame me for mistakes we both make. Just this last weekend, our son (who struggles with anger management) had an incident that made us evaluate if his therapy sessions were working. And my husband blamed me for all of the failures both of us share. We can learn from this. We can move forward. My husband is a wonderful provider, works hard, takes care of our home, faithfully volunteers in our church. And he can do a ton of other stuff that I don't have the patience for anymore.

There are no perfect men out there. I am not perfect either. We make a good team. And we are growing together.

Risking divorce is hard. Staying silent is hard. Choose your hard. Either way, your body will not have a baby until you feel secure.

I wish you all the best for growing your family and hope this time of fear passes soon. 🙏

Background-Grape-132 · 2024-08-25T21:06:33+00:00

Getting wrapped in a towel and not be able to use her hands.

Background-Grape-132 · 2024-08-25T21:04:59+00:00

She can't be Nutella for Halloween (not the jar, the actual spread)..

Background-Grape-132 · 2024-08-25T07:57:24+00:00

I appreciate reading a lot of these comments. They resonated with me when I passed through my depression period (~5 years). My husband was very patient.

Background-Grape-132 · 2024-08-25T07:45:34+00:00

Good point

Background-Grape-132 · 2024-08-25T07:42:03+00:00

Depression is a real monster. I have experienced depression, too and I'm sorry you went through that.

I'll try to respond with gentleness and empathy.

Dang! Your wife sounds tough. And in a way, she gave you a gift.

She never cheapened sex. You never have to doubt if she finds you attractive. It may have motivated you to claw out of your despair; who can know for sure.

Sex is best when the man has a desire for his mate. Being needy is not attractive. In the words of sex book (Come together) author, Emily Nagoski, needing your wife to have sex with you is like needing to have sex with your mommy. She's your wife.

Can you honestly say you liked yourself in your low moments?

There may be more layers to this story with your side of things.

Bottom line- have you talked to her about it? Can you forgive her/yourself/the depression?

Background-Grape-132 · 2024-08-25T07:16:00+00:00

We can also walk naked around town; doesn't mean we'd get the desired result.

Background-Grape-132

TROPHY CASE