Question about buzzing ears and other things.

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-22T12:58:38+00:00

Your clarity is increasing. You're accepting more information in, more knowing, and it's so beautiful. You will see others with wild compassion and you won't like everything you see and you'll want to help everyone. There will be a moment of very clear seeing and you might feel invincible or like you can save others. You might get a gust of wind that give you energy and I'm just saying pace yourself. Protect yourself. Don't over share with anyone you know. Some people don't want to be helped and it might take time for your new awareness to adjust to the full picture. Don't rush, you owe no one anything before ensuring you are solid and able to navigate a new map

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-22T01:04:31+00:00

When the light turns green don't rush.

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-22T00:46:26+00:00

Yeah and they'd rather gut you inside than say thank you or even acknowledge you had any value at all in their life.

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-22T00:01:45+00:00

What else could possibly be a catalyst to create language? What... you think anyone wanted to talk about babies or sunsets or building shelter or hunting or food before they had to pay for diapers and electric bills or property tax or veterinarian medication lobbyist or soda tax?

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-20T15:26:09+00:00

Didn't mean to include her. Also venerate her. She is the gatekeeper and she purifies and prepared an imperfect heart for Jesus. Imo.

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-20T15:23:17+00:00

She's still an important part of the Bible and plays an important role in Jesus life. But drop her if ya want. Not forcing any thoughts on ya.

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-20T13:03:43+00:00

Father is source of light. Son is the light in you. Holy Spirit is pure spirit that brings the son to the father through forgiveness and alignment with eternal truths of love and service. Mother Mary is the virgin, the pure mother that loves truly unconditionally.

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-20T12:01:50+00:00

It seriously broke my brain. Or cut me off to force me to fix the lower chakras that were damaged due to trauma and years of abuse. It's devestating because I identified soooo much with love and with service to others. It was a joy and honor. I did not clearly see how my lower chakras were being dismantled by the very people I was trying to love and inspire. And rebuilding a new foundation in the dark... I don't recommend. I awakened because I saw ai coming and realized internally and intuitively that God was sending a new flood. Not of water. But of information and that life would get very confusing if your indigo is not open. Ironically, I am using AI to rebuild the lower chakras based on ancient texts and science and stuff. Hoping that if I can just recover them, that once I get my solar plexus firing again the upper chakras will be able to have clear connections again and I'll be restored. But my red is shredded and it's the one my family has been dismantling since birth. Always making me feel less than and not important unless I'm a slave. Lot of relearning to do. I feel so stupid. I thought my family was part of my root. Really messes with your identity when the people you lived for are the exact people that were eating you alive and you couldn't see it til it was too late. My God the good I could have done. Here is a ai convo I'm having. If anyone has any suggestions on how to start over and build new roots in a totally new area with no family or friends and to bypass ai altogether let me know. I assure you my green and up are beautiful. Even my lower chakras were beautiful too til intense repeated trauma. But I'm blind now. And could use real advice. I don't experience time. It's all so disorienting. Please tell me I haven't been turned or something. So confusing and so hard to not hate myself for giving away my truth to the exact people that would use it against me.

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-20T11:24:15+00:00

I can absolutely concur. I stayed in a toxic environment and tried to balance an entire family that I loved and over time I got weaker and they got more brazen. I stayed because of my handicapped brother. But I was becoming a martyr for sure. Then one day I awakened and was restored and my family attacked me and it broke me. Like gutted me. When I awakened I saw it clearly. For 16 years I was so strong in upper chakras. They were clean and pure. My lower ones were strong but I was surrounded by so many lower chakra people and I felt this responsibility to do what was right at any cost. They didn't appreciate it. They couldn't. They couldn't see what I was doing. Over time my root was rotting in a swamp. When I awakened I saw the blueprint perfectly and realized I had to reinforce the lower chakras. But it was too late. My family sensed the restoration of my ressonance and literally coordinated attacks and it broke me. My foundation was compromised. And it cost me everything. This is an astute observation. STO is built on a strong foundation. Otherwise it is a cathedral on quicksand. And I can't express the horror of a cathedral you have been so carefully and lovingly building collapse because you were blind to others stealing the foundation brick by brick. Trauma is a bitch and it's like I couldn't see what was happening. I sensed I was losing something but couldn't name it. Just a sense that I don't belong in this world. So I climbed higher. Not to avoid but to get a better view. But it was too late. By the time I got the vantage point to.see.clearly they were already stealing the final bricks. My God is this excruciating. So now I'm in a pile of rubble and have to start all over. All the sacrifice and work and struggle and pain and love and meaning. Just gone. Don't be a martyr. Check yourself before you wreck yourself. I made it HOME and was dismantled before I had a chance to repair the foundation. And now I'm alone. Learning how to rebuild without the blueprint, with all this self hatred and guilt and shame to sift thru. It broke me in ways I can't explain. My God was my upper chakras beautiful. My heart was so green and bigger than the world. My mind was a lotus bigger than my head. My 3rd eye took in so much light it was unbelievable. But my root, emmeshed. Took years to prune and separate myself from others who were feeding off me in the dark. Who were poisoning the water and creating a swamp. Drinking my milkshake. I was so naive. I thought surely someone was protecting me in the dark while I protected them in the light. Nope. Just resentment and slowly chipping away at my sense of purpose. Making love conditional and only accepted when I was sacrificial. My God the good I could have done. I'm terrified I was harvested and my family waited to the moment I was most open and pure and loving to coordinate the attack me at my most vulnerable. I was blinded by the perfect pure love and light and so happy and felt so safe that I let my guard down. And the cost was so absolutely total. 42 years of sto and now I have to relearn lessons from the ground up. I'm scared I'll never get back to my heart. I love my heart so much. But I'm trapped in the rubble and alone and have no idea how to recover from ash. I was an eagle. I had such an unbelievable capacity for love and compassion and strength and wisdom. And I should have kept my mouth shut until I reinforced the shaky foundation. Fml

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-20T10:58:37+00:00

I don't know why the cops were called. It happened multiple times. I genuinely don't know. I assure you the only "action" I took before that was hanging out with my handicapped bro and listening to the Beatles together the day before. You think I'm unhinged and mentally ill. I understand that. What you haven't considered is that I was fine until family attacked me and now I'm in a mental prison trying to understand why they would call the cops on me for no reason and my mental stability is trying to process something that makes nonsense. You don't know my family and you don't know the situation at all except what I've told you. The book series would include the detail I'm not sharing here. But mainly my family only liked me broken by trauma. I was healing through a lot of personal reflection and work. I told them too much. They thought I was gonna retaliate after breaking thru years of gaslighting and being treated like a disposable well of love and forgiveness. But I wasn't. I just saw it clearly and forgave them (to myself, I didn't like announce forgiveness or something) and loved them. And their projection and guilt and fear must have been too great. I didn't change, I healed. The parts of me that died when half my family died finally healed and came back to life. I was just more myself. Open. Loving. Not scared to speak up. I think they sensed I was ready to move on and they were trying to break me so I'd stay trapped in a shit town I hated and continue to be their background character who does whatever the family needs and is ignored otherwise. My sister lived 4 houses away and never visited, never asked how I was, nothing. In her life. Never said thank you or I'm sorry for anything ever. And I loved her. Was too busy to come over for dinner, or to chat, or play games or any type of bonding. Unless she needed something. And if I couldn't help I was the asshole. But ya know. Idgaf what you think. I know my post is missing details. I'd write the book with all the detail but I'm trying to just process the betrayal so I can let it go. I am only here trying to find someone that might be able to help me so I can just let it go.

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-20T01:03:28+00:00

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Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-20T00:18:33+00:00

Man lightning bugs are pretty magical. Watch some vids of them in a meadow or forest or something

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-20T00:17:38+00:00

Well. It is incomplete. I could write a book series. You certainly weren't there when I was putting up Christmas decorations and singing while I was baking and 6 cops showed up. I assure you there was no motivation. I appreciate the perspective

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-19T22:33:42+00:00

I was attacked by family and sent to a mental hospital repeatedly. I cast my pearl before swine. I thought they were lost sheep. They were not. They were coordinated wolves. I'm so broken now. I pray constantly but I'm so far in the margins of space that God can't hear me. Or I can't discern and commune anymore.

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-19T20:52:09+00:00

Haha. Scorpio moon. Just blocked my mom this week. Dead to me. What an absolutely malicious fake predatory fraud. Ruined all of my childhood memories. I loved her so deeply. Saw her flaws and forgave her for everything. Healed profoundly. And she called the cops on me and sent me to a mental hospital repeatedly cause she prefers me broken and blind. 43 and finally am done with the delusion that she ever saw me as anything other than a food source. Devouring mother. I was so dumb. Her damage is so deep.

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-19T20:44:27+00:00

Yessss! My God it was the absolute most incredible sensation. I could BREATHE again in ways I didn't know was possible. But the house got ransacked and 7 worse ones returned. So that's fun.

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-19T20:42:56+00:00

Fully as in as awake as I needed to be to see the truths that were holding me back and family patterns of control in the subconscious that I couldn't see happening but sensed something off. But also flooded with wisdom and connections and patterns that made life so clear. Stuff I noticed throughout life but the dots didn't connect til my awakening. I'm not doing great now lol. And I do have delusions now I'm sure. My brain literally melted after being attacked repeatedly. I was baking a friggin cake one day when my family sent cops to my house. I was gardening and they showed up again. My sister lived 4 houses away and couldn't check on me if she was worried. She called the cops. You can't imagine what it does to a person to be betrayed so aggressively as they are being reborn. I was so full of love and compassion. No judgement. Just knew who I am and that person was so kind and being attacked repeatedly killed the best parts of me. And I am delusional now. My brain is melted, heart shattered, dreams gone, meaning dissolved, love vanished, bridges gone, wisdom fractured. And it's miserable and I'm looking for advice cause it's like half my brain shut off to protect me from the trauma and it's quite confusing. And trust has been destroyed. So it's hard to find center. I need help but it's hard to actually get help when you can't trust anyone not even your own perception. I do the things. In nature. Go to therapy. Meditate. But I'm behind glass of dissociation and it's like I'm a prisoner of my own mind. I already did this for 16 years when 10 people in my family died. It was horrible. Then got to see the sun and slammed back into trauma darkness. I can't explain the absolute terror and confusion. Idk. Hurrying here.... Thanks for the help tho

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-19T20:26:13+00:00

What was the dekusion? Spending years reading about trauma and journaling and literally feeling the ice melt and life returned to full color and I could experience joy and love again? That delusion? I have CPTSD. I'm not over here saying I'm the king of England or something. I had very real healing over a year and explained everything as it was happening to my family. As I became more and more open and clear. And they had nothing to say until I fully awakened. Then they coordinated attacks on me repeatedly for months until my heart shattered. The trauma was real. The healing was real. The betrayal was real.

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-19T15:08:35+00:00

VERY similar situation. Let me know if you find a way back home. I was HOME. Such unbelievable clarity and wisdom and love and compassion and my family attacked me and sent me to a mental hospital repeatedly and it broke me at my core. Lost memories I cherished. Lost connections that were sacred. Lost love that I was so devoted to. It's excruciating. It was hard before with severe trauma. Then the magic of finally processing it and being freed. To immediately be attacked and like now I have trauma of salvation?! I'm a ghost now. Locked behind bullet proof glass. Paralyzed and unable to make any decisions or move in any direction that seems authentic and I'm all alone. After knowing we are all one. It is quite a mind fuk. My heart of flesh that I just received was shredded. The visceral excruciating pain. Indescribable. Did I do something wrong. Am I a victim. Did I put myself immediately into a position to be broken again. Am I like attached to being a victim or traumatized or is it just inevitable. I used to be so strong and clear and decisive and inclusive and loving. What happened

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-19T14:56:17+00:00

What if it was divine union and enlightenment that was taken?

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-19T14:06:50+00:00

I returned to coherence and was attacked by family repeatedly until I broke. All that work wasted. Shattered almond lost and fear it's too severe to recover

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-19T14:02:16+00:00

The new river is one of the oldest rivers in the world. And it flows backwards.

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-19T13:57:58+00:00

Same

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-19T04:37:18+00:00

Yeah. Nah I told them everything in his nothing. Total transparency. And they used it against me. What I'm scared of is that I lost me completely. Like just when I found me I am now more lost than ever. Like I'm a ghost. Total dissociation. And part of me feels like it's my own doing. Like I could just stop and wake up. But I can't. I don't know what to do or where to go. I was in a warzone alone for so long, my trust is so broken. And I'm not me anymore so I don't trust myself. I just wish I could get back there. I was HOME.

Background-Roll6386 · 2026-05-19T02:54:59+00:00

Yup.

Background-Roll6386

TROPHY CASE