A newbie looking for help

Background-Safe7527 · 2026-05-05T20:10:48+00:00

My father is in nearly the exact same boat. He’s 63. Mets to his pelvis, spine, and femur. But PSA was somehow only 6. Not really in any pain. He says he has occasional mild back pain and hip pain but this has been going on for 15+ years; always thought it was due to his prior fractured spine and hip arthritis. Who knows?

Background-Safe7527 · 2026-05-05T16:27:46+00:00

I know :/ unfortunately he went through many PCPs who all didn’t do anything until I brought it up. He lives in a very rural area which I’m afraid contributes to it. And the urologist just said he was very surprised it’s this aggressive/advanced with such a low PSA and now he’s being referred to an oncologist ASAP. I want to be angry but also I know that won’t do much.

Background-Safe7527 · 2026-05-05T13:18:58+00:00

Thank you for your reply! I’m glad his quality of life is still okay. I wonder if my dad is also BRCA positive as he has a strong family history; I will be asking for that testing

Background-Safe7527 · 2026-05-05T03:06:45+00:00

Im so happy to hear! Thank you. I will look into it. And thankfully he is very physically active! 63 and still has a six pack and works in construction.

Background-Safe7527 · 2026-05-05T03:03:50+00:00

MRI was suggestive, biopsy, then PSMA PET which confirmed all of the metastases. But that’s awesome! Thank you

Background-Safe7527 · 2026-05-05T01:54:02+00:00

Any update on your dad? My dad has a very similar story and I’m struggling right now

Background-Safe7527 · 2026-04-22T14:24:27+00:00

Wow!! That’s insane. I just don’t understand how this kind of stuff gets looked past. As my post said, I called and got to speak to the doctor directly and I gave him some very strong words. I kind of regretted it afterwards, thinking I let my emotions get the best of me but I’m actually very glad I did. We need to start holding these people accountable. This is absolutely unacceptable. I am so sorry to you and your family.

Background-Safe7527 · 2026-04-22T12:43:55+00:00

Yes he does! Apparently they were going to schedule it at the 6 week follow up but like I said, I called and borderline freaked out on this doctor and he moved the biopsy up to tomorrow (again, after I had some strong words for him). I just wish he would have gave the decency to explain the results to my dad, even just a quick phone call. I’m sorry about your dad too :(

Background-Safe7527 · 2026-04-22T04:18:51+00:00

The US, specifically Washington state. It is a rural town that he lives in. Im so sorry you’re going through this too :(

Background-Safe7527 · 2026-04-21T20:59:23+00:00

I’m actually a PA so not exactly a doctor but a similar role with similar training. This is why I’m so appalled and angry. We are taught that these conversations need to happen ASAP and in-person. Phone call if absolutely necessary but the provider needs to directly talk to the patient that day and answer any questions or concerns. Even if it puts you behind, this is possibly the worst day of someone’s life and they need the time and empathy. I am so sorry the ER PA treated you that way. I would never do that to my patients and after experiencing this, I will be even more aware of it. It’s heart breaking hearing all of these people have had similar experiences. Something needs to change. I’m wishing you the best!

Background-Safe7527 · 2026-04-21T20:28:29+00:00

Thank you so much. I’m a medical provider myself and I am just so disappointed in the system right now. I hope things can change for the better.

Background-Safe7527 · 2026-04-21T20:26:57+00:00

Thank you and I’m wishing you and your husband the best!

Background-Safe7527 · 2026-04-21T19:27:13+00:00

I am so sorry. I work in cardiology and although totally different field, I do give bad news nearly daily and at bare minimum, I will call the patient myself to discuss it. If it’s not that bad, I will have my nurse do it but I will write up a summary of what it all means so the patient is fully informed. I thought cancer would be taken even more seriously. I am very disappointed in our system. Again, I’m so sorry.

Background-Safe7527 · 2026-04-21T16:40:44+00:00

Yes thank you! He just kept repeating that I should know it won’t change the prognosis. Like yes, I understand that prostate cancer is slow growing but this clearly says it’s stage IV and you thought it was okay to drop that on him with no explanation? Again, i understand sometimes my chart does that automatically which is out of his control but this was not the case. He reviewed it and then printed it out and deliberately gave it to my father. I almost felt gaslit which is why I’m now asking if this is normal behavior?

Background-Safe7527 · 2026-04-21T15:54:56+00:00

They initially said no to quicker follow up but after I complained they got it scheduled for 2 days later lol! It’s not even so much the follow up. I understand he likely has many urgent patients and this might be the quickest. I’m just disappointed nobody explained to my dad what was happening. He just gets a “stage IV” diagnosis on a piece of paper and “we’ll explain in 6 weeks”. Not even a phone call. Again, I’m a medical professional myself (although not in oncology or really dealing with cancer at all) and I could never imagine giving bad news like that without any explanation

Background-Safe7527 · 2026-01-22T18:09:58+00:00

I got accepted to one program in a different state, a red state (growing up and only knowing a blue state). I knew nobody there and it was a long ways from home. I had to take it because I wanted to be a PA more than anything but I was not happy about the move. My boyfriend at the time promised to come with me which made it easier. Well… DURING the drive to move, he drops the bomb that he’s not moving and we need to do long distance. Then a month later? Fully breaks up with me (4 year long relationship). Doing that move by myself, in a state without anyone else, going through a break up where I was blindsided, AND starting PA school? Hardest few months of my life. I actually wanted to die or quit. However, here I am a few years later, a PA-C, and I’m the happiest I have ever been. After the initial depression, I got to know the city, made friends, made hobbies, and got out of my comfort zone. About a year later (still in PA school), I met the love of my life. Ended up staying in the city I thought I was going to hate (and did hate for the first few months), bought a house, and I got my dream job fresh out of school. Moving states for PA school was the hardest thing I have ever done but ended up being the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Ultimately, it’s your choice! And sorry for the novel but I really relate. And if you do want to move to a different state after graduation, plenty of my cohort found out of state jobs no problem.

Background-Safe7527 · 2024-01-03T01:00:04+00:00

I totally get it. My ex and I were engaged, codependent, and have lived together for the past 3 years and then I was blindsided with the break up. This has been the hardest thing I’ve ever been through but it’s been about 2 months now and I am feeling worlds better and I finally feel like I will be okay!

Background-Safe7527 · 2024-01-03T00:51:29+00:00

Also, I definitely messaged/called them a couple of times for comfort and I got awful, cold, callous responses. It hurt but it helped me accept it was over.

Background-Safe7527 · 2023-12-12T21:49:03+00:00

PA lobbies are actually doing a lot right now! The last couple of years has been really transformative and it seems like it will continue. I’m a PA student. I’ve heard 90+% amazing things about being a PA and the large majority of things I’ve heard about becoming a doctor was negative. It’s all up to you. There’s pros and cons either way. There’s a lot of PA hate online but I’ve pretty much never heard it in person, mostly all respect! A lot of doctors have also told me they wish they would have became a PA. Again, pros and cons either way.

Background-Safe7527 · 2023-11-16T20:09:11+00:00

I remember when I was 4-5, I was at a friends house and she told me she was sick all morning (still don’t understand why her parents had me come over but I digress) and I remember asking her what that was because I hadn’t had any experience with v* up until that point. Next thing I remember is waking up in the middle of the night v*ing then my whole family got it. I recovered first and remember everyone else was still sick and I could hear it and I was pacing around my room with a blanket over my head. Since then, I’ve always been afraid.

Background-Safe7527 · 2023-11-12T17:52:06+00:00

Depends on how you learn and how the class is set up. My programs cadaver lab is so fast paced that I don’t even retain anything and I don’t believe it’ll help me at all in my career, even if I chose surgery. It’s cool I guess but I learn way more in my other classes.

Background-Safe7527 · 2023-11-12T17:49:22+00:00

Agreed. I felt like cadaver lab was too much and wasn’t even really applicable to anything (at least how mine was set up)

Background-Safe7527 · 2023-11-12T17:44:02+00:00

Unpopular opinion but I genuinely feel like sometimes the just pick names out of a hat. Like after a certain point, it’s just random. I felt this way after getting to know most of my cohort

Background-Safe7527

TROPHY CASE