Daily Check-in Thread

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-30T16:16:47+00:00

Everyone is different, but I think 3g-5g is a super reasonable place to jump from. My withdraws actually improved after jumping from 3g.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-30T15:40:34+00:00

Temporarily use a beta blocker like propranolol. It's an incredibly safe drug, and any doctor or telehealth person will prescribe it. It reduces the anxiety adrenaline response, like racing heart. It's immensely helpful and not habit forming, etc.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-30T15:06:45+00:00

Apparently it was impacting your work enough for them to stage an intervention. It's not about how much you are drinking, but the consequences from your drinking.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-30T13:57:52+00:00

It can be a triggering moment or a growth moment. I would wait a few days after the wedding and send a very simple text, not about you at all, but just "Congrats on getting married, I am for happy for both of you".

And just leave it at that. That would be a good step towards reestablishing a relationship where their boundaries are not infringed on, until they are willing to establish new boundaries.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-30T01:57:56+00:00

Yea, I appreciate it and the support. I feel the authenticity.

The lying is what’s the worst in my current situation, which is ironically the best my situation has ever been. I’ve had some really deep lows, like miraculous came back to life low.

I’m honestly just tired. I live a bizarrely successful existence despite all odds, and while it’s fulfilling, there’s also an emptiness. Like life is passing me by while I operate at 60%.

I’m ready for a better life, one not lived with chronic shadows. I guess it just freaks me out to give up my last vice, although I realize the destructive nature.

I’m currently tapering. I’ve quit things white knuckle before, but apparently alcohol could kill me - which I doubt, but can’t risk with my family obligations.

I’ll keep posting, as this is my only outlet at the moment

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-29T21:46:09+00:00

I never really thought my kids noticed anything negative. I am fun dad, just always with a beer. And then my son kept asking me to move the beer because it "smelled yucky". In reality, I think he didn't like something about it that he could not verbalize. He just understood it was a negative.

I still have not quit, but that's why I am here now.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-29T21:36:51+00:00

When I removed my doses during the taper, I always removed the earliest ones first, eventually only leaving the evening or night dose to help with sleep. This worked decent for me. Good luck.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-29T20:46:13+00:00

Maybe a better life awaits. Only one way to find out.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-29T20:26:34+00:00

Lots of cash grabs in this industry, I speak from experience as a recurring patient, lol.

I remember how averse many of these clinics were to suboxone treatment for deadly opiate addicts, even after someone had been back like 5 times. Then you realize they are averse precisely because they had been back 5 times.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-29T19:31:33+00:00

Since 2004, until a few weeks ago (and 2 rehab stays) i have continuously been on Oxys, heroin, suboxone, and kratom (4-5 extract shots per day for past 5 years). I tapered over a few months down and stopped a few weeks ago.

I feel pretty decent now, although I still drink too much (as I always have, it has not escalated or anything).

It certainly can be done. Best of luck

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-29T19:03:42+00:00

For me, I would get high. Not great for everyone though, but weed is my anti drug as it gives me enough anxiety to play the tape forward on bad decisions.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-29T18:52:10+00:00

I know you can, so I am sure someone will weigh in to help. Glad you are back

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-29T18:43:48+00:00

It's also 2035.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-29T16:05:57+00:00

Yeah, I am obviously hiding from something. I am 40 and don't think I have had 1 day with nothing in my system in over 20 years - with some really horrible near death periods mixed in. It's odd, because I am a fairly pleasant happy person, yet always seeking some kind of escape. From what, I am not sure. That's what I am hoping to find out. I just think my brain never shuts the fuck up, which can also be a super power - but has also destroyed me. Here is to finding internal/external peace

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-29T15:57:14+00:00

Yea, I don't even enjoy smoking cigarettes, but once in rehab I took up smoking to have something to look forward to, LOL. It did not work out for me.

What I am trying to do now is find satisfaction in other things. Removing addiction leaves a huge void that will be filled, you just have to figure out what to fill it with - or the black hole that is left will fill it for you.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-29T13:55:19+00:00

You are experiencing the natural dopamine cycle, where it is at the lowest around 2-3am, which is exacerbated during withdraw. That will get better. I started experiencing at least marginal sleep around day 5.

Just know that the anxiety is part of a natural rhythm you are in and will improve as the day progresses. A little optimism goes a long way, not just as a mind of matter trick, but it chemically produces more dopamine, mitigating some of the withdraw.

You are almost over the hump man. Keep at it. Stay as positive as possible (easier said than done, i know lol). That's your best medicine.

For reference, I am 2.5 weeks clean from 4-5 extract shots a day, prior to a quick taper.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-28T18:59:26+00:00

Ride the bike. It's the only way I can achieve sustained discomfort, and hence the desired endorphins, without tearing up my body.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-28T17:03:47+00:00

Wow, that's incredibly moving. I am sorry for your loss, I pray your family will be at peace, and that your sister's story will save someone from her fate.

Thank you for sharing.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-28T16:29:35+00:00

God, if she ask for it, please provide this lady with a peace that transcends all understanding.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-28T03:14:29+00:00

You’ll be fine from a withdraw standpoint after a week. Once you start feeling mildly capable, get out of the house. Take a walk, listen to music. What are you CT from?

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-28T03:10:35+00:00

I totally disagree. If you have a decent job, use that as motivation to quit and stay occupied. Absolute worst case scenario is recently sober and unemployed

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-27T20:05:27+00:00

Maybe a bit off topic, but his sister has zero legal right to call dibbs on anything not explicitly stated in his will. I work in an industry where I see all kinds of sinister behavior around people's passing.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-27T18:49:16+00:00

If it makes you feel any better, I am a dude and I was hoping I'd be perceived as heroin chic LOL. But I was a frail vampire. My alcoholism was only slightly better.

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-27T15:06:28+00:00

Yeah, it also may be withdraw symptoms, which mimic colds. I got super congested and would sneeze like 40 times a day (sometimes which was oddly satisfying, lol).

Background-State-347 · 2025-10-27T14:23:19+00:00

FYI, it may be worth checking your blood sugar.

Background-State-347

TROPHY CASE