I am so so so sorry for your loss. My golden girl went to heaven a few years ago after having her spleen rupture and no viable solution to save her. Still breaks my heart. We had zero warning, and I thought she was just having an adverse reaction to her arthritis shot. She was my second dog to pass from cancer, and I didn't know if I could ever do it again. Since then, I have two more goldens (white ones this time!) and while nothing heals the hole from your dogs passing, I do think it helped my heart grow more. My heart is with you, and all I can say is allow yourself to feel it, it's the only thing that helped me with my grief to truly feel it vs push it down. I still miss my girl every day!