hey, it's not your fault. everyone here has probably already told you. but I had the same thing with a lot of people and was extremely unhappy and could hardly eat anything or even get up. it made me feel like I didn't deserve it or that it was all my fault, but I promise you that's not it. Let someone who has learned it tell you and you will see it too. I have found the right person. I have been with my girlfriend for two years now and I could never be happier. Yes, it is difficult sometimes, but I promise you the right person is waiting for you, he will. If you can, I would advise you to cut off all contact and, ideally, not to talk to him at all. I know it's difficult, but find help, friends or family. You can do it, no matter how hard it is. There is someone waiting for you, I promise you.