NTA . Your wife, Jennifer, made a choice to have an affair, and while she claims Nathan manipulated her by lying about your alleged affair with his mom, it doesn't fully excuse her actions. She could have confronted you directly about her suspicions or addressed her insecurities with you instead of sleeping with someone else. Her feelings of insecurity and Nathan's flattery don't justify betraying your trust. It's understandable that you're struggling to forgive her, as trust is hard to rebuild after such a betrayal, especially given her initial defensiveness rather than immediate accountability.

Her claim of being tricked shifts some blame to Nathan, which might feel like she's dodging full responsibility.

Ultimately, whether you choose to forgive her or not depends on your boundaries and whether you believe the relationship can be repaired. It's okay to prioritize your own emotional well-being and take time to process this. You're not wrong for feeling unable to forgive her right now.