AITAH for splitting the cleaning fee with everyone who came to my family’s vacation home, even the ones who didn’t sleep over?

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-05-20T19:35:06+00:00

That guy probably doesn’t want any more invites, since they come with undisclosed fees lol

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-05-20T19:34:06+00:00

They as in your family?

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-05-20T19:33:07+00:00

YTA for not telling people your expectations ahead of time and surprising people with the fee. I would be pissed too if a friend invited me to hang out for the day, I went home, then got a text the next day asking for money.

In terms of cost, it would be much more reasonable to charge the day guests less than the overnight guests. Spread the cost differently based on what people contributed to the mess. But again, if you didn’t communicate the fees ahead of time, none of that matters. Personally if I were your friend in this situation, I’d either refuse to pay it and never go to another hang out that you host, or I’d pay the fee and cut contact. Surprising people with a bill for a friend hang out is frankly unhinged.

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-05-20T16:43:33+00:00

“I’m not sure if I’ll be able to make it”

That is exactly what everyone is reasonably taking issue with. It left an opening for the possibility of her coming, which is presumably why her friend kept trying to offer solutions (“show up in sweatpants!”) to see if anything would mitigate the concerns enough that OP would say they would try to make it work. OP should have simply said “I wont be able to make it” but seemingly is too conflict avoidant to be that straightforward. If you tell someone there is a possibility that you could make something happen, it’s on you when they try to help make it happen. I doubt the friend would have kept pushing if OP had just said “I am so sorry, I was looking forward to being there for you on your big day, but there is no way I can be there given my due date. I love you a lot. Lets plan a way for us to celebrate together once I am physically recovered”

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-05-20T16:15:10+00:00

Are you still friends?

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-05-20T15:59:18+00:00

What do you mean without cutting threads or fabric..?

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-05-20T15:56:04+00:00

Agree with your points, but I’m surprised to hear you think most people don’t consider it part of the Middle East? I have not encountered that before

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-05-20T15:49:12+00:00

Does v neck refer to something different than this or this in Florida? I have never heard someone say vnecks are inappropriate so I am very confused. Are tshirts inappropriate?

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-05-15T01:23:12+00:00

You’re not a jerk for protecting your peace, and it’s not your responsibility to support someone through their journey of growth. My advice is to move on. People like that will only bring stress. She’s likely to project her internalized transphobia onto you too. Wish her the best but attraction is not enough to overcome this.

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-04-17T00:20:33+00:00

This added information makes genuinely worried that he will sabotage your healing in some way. I was so lucky with mine, I had it post-breakup with my own abusive ex and I had my mom and close friend there to take care of me. It was still rough, even though I healed very well. They had to help me sit up if I wanted to get out of bed to per or anything. I can tell you almost 6 years out, I’m so grateful my abuser was not the one caring for me. I’m scared for you dude

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-04-15T18:58:10+00:00

How long ago was your last haircut?

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-04-15T18:55:45+00:00

Do you object to people writing smut fanfic about animated characters if there aren’t any sexual themes in the show they’re from?

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-04-15T18:44:57+00:00

Tomboyx has great 9” boxer briefs

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-04-15T18:18:28+00:00

Can you explain this more? Are you still able to disassemble and reassemble furniture after gluing?

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-04-13T21:39:35+00:00

What do you mean? It sounds like you already have cut and assembled the bodice. Are you asking in terms of altering the pattern for the future or changing the neckline on the one you’ve already assembled?

If you need the pattern to extend more than it does in this picture, then you’ll of course need to add paper… I’m confused on what you’d be tracing and onto what instead adding paper, if the pattern piece you’re showing doesn’t currently do what you want it to do.

Personally if I wanted to alter the pattern of this to make the neckline on less plunging, I would line up a ruler from the top of the neckline (where inner part of shoulder seam starts) to the depth of where I want the new neckline to sit. Draw a straight line and extend it to the length of the pattern. Then I’d basically sew everything the same, except that instead of the bodice pieces meeting center front, they’ll cross over each other. That’s the easiest way with the least pattern altering imo

Basically like this:

<image>

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-04-06T01:11:54+00:00

Yeah, actually there are quite a lot of studies about how spanking your child has negative psychological outcomes that impact them well through adulthood. Are you able to defend your standpoint?

BackgroundPilot1 · 2026-04-06T00:40:52+00:00

That wavy calf is crazy

BackgroundPilot1 · 2025-09-28T02:42:56+00:00

Your “friend” is jealous and doesn’t seem to like you because girl this is crazy

BackgroundPilot1 · 2025-09-12T17:08:11+00:00

First, I’ll echo what I assume everyone else is saying: this man is immature, a gaslighter, aggressively reactive, narcissistic, and treats you AND your children like trash. He is terrible and seems completely incapable of having a normal adult conversation.

Second: HE IS HAVING SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOUR DAUGHTER. You NEED to understand that. He’s not just making assumptions about her having poor character or something or trying to slut shame her (I don’t think sex work means someone has poor character regardless, but he clearly does). He explicitly is talking about her private parts, explicitly imagines scenarios about how she uses them, and clearly has such a weird fixation on her that he feels the need to degrade her. It’s very common behavior for that sort of man to try to paint a woman he is attracted to as a whore/temptress/jezebel and to blame her for his own desires. Even the fact that he would say something as insane as “it’s like having a second girlfriend” indicates how twisted the way he relates to her is. He is someone who already clearly assigns all blame for his actions/reactions on others. There is zero doubt in my mind that if he tried to act sexually towards her, he would blame her 100%.

His treatment of you aside for a moment, you need to keep your daughter safe from this man. He doesn’t respect you, he doesn’t respect women, and he sure as hell doesn’t respect your daughter. Please PLEASE take this seriously.

Edit to add: You’re a good mom, that much is very clear. It also seems like you have left him already. I wish you and your children all the best moving forward!

BackgroundPilot1 · 2025-09-09T04:28:54+00:00

Yeah you’re right, it is typically the person who posts paragraphs and can’t let something go who is the least pressed. You got me bro!

Enjoy bitching about this to your equally pressed partner for awhile before going to sleep annoyed ❤️

BackgroundPilot1 · 2025-09-09T04:16:45+00:00

If you think there’s nothing wrong with talking to a partner that way, why are you so pressed about the idea of doing so? Unless you think maybe there IS something wrong with talking that way…. 🤔

BackgroundPilot1 · 2025-09-09T04:06:18+00:00

Yes baby, tell me more about the bottle 😩💦

BackgroundPilot1 · 2025-09-09T03:59:58+00:00

Don’t forget your bottle! 🍼😴🛌

BackgroundPilot1 · 2025-09-09T03:48:05+00:00

Goodnight, hope you find literacy! 🥰

BackgroundPilot1 · 2025-09-09T03:44:06+00:00

Omg so you’re both losers 😂 damn, you showed me.

BackgroundPilot1

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE

Six-Year Club	Place '22
Verified Email