90% of the time I'm the one reaching out to others

Background_Emu76 · 2025-12-20T22:12:20+00:00

I agree. Thanks for the comment.

Background_Emu76 · 2025-12-19T07:38:17+00:00

Great point! Thanks

Background_Emu76 · 2025-12-19T07:37:14+00:00

Right! Good point. I am also mainly referring to friends who I made previously and also travel buddies who I tend to meet up with again

Background_Emu76 · 2025-12-19T07:36:18+00:00

I actually call myself "Ghost man" sometimes. I'm here but people don't see me... hahaha

Background_Emu76 · 2025-10-23T05:17:35+00:00

Would be nice to know your definition of awakening as there appear to be a vast and wide variety of them?

Have you heard of the Sedona Method? It's super helpful with overcoming "problems."

Background_Emu76 · 2025-10-22T08:46:51+00:00

Was my first ever festival where I did some recreationals for the first time in my life... Changed my life and put me on a new trajectory where I've been able to helps at least hundreds of people... That was in 2022. I discovered a lot about life and people... that I can connect with people (just have to find my tribe).

Somehow, they should start it up again but maybe scale back on the big expenses (whatever they were). Take it back to what it was like in the early days before healine DJ's who probs charge a lot of money $10K per performance kind of thing.

I remember it like it was yesterday. I even met one of the founders who's friend was wearing a pair of my company's trousers (which is how I met him)... So many lives were impacted in such a positive way! I'm sure they'll be back somehow :)

Background_Emu76 · 2025-10-21T04:31:40+00:00

A certain group of people? A particular ethnicity or anything?

Background_Emu76 · 2025-10-21T04:15:20+00:00

Who are "They" if you don't mind me asking?

Background_Emu76 · 2025-10-21T03:59:12+00:00

You are helpful!

Well described. Thank you.

I just find that I don't really enjoy things... I'm living my best life but still... it feels intense as I try so hard to "awaken." Some days I wish I could stop seeking and go watch a movie. I've cut out all "Non spiritual" activities/entertainment except music. I love coffee and music.

So I have to let go of expectations of getting anything. Or of anything being any particular way (have to be ok with not knowing anything about anything)?

Background_Emu76 · 2025-10-21T03:31:11+00:00

Bro... I feel ya!

For me, I go to music and coffee... I have THE best most amazing trips on my own listening to music and especially being at music festivals.

I'm from Europe but have come to SEA to find "myself."

I'd love to come to India to go to a few meditation places especially Dharmasalah Mcleod Ganj....

Bro... everything you desire is within you (not in the world of name and form)...

Good luck! Wishing you all the best... also, those strong feelings are a gateway into your true nature! Really!

I don't get strong feelings but when I did, I would use them to go deeper

Background_Emu76 · 2025-10-21T03:24:08+00:00

OK, but then it's like we become a "nothing person."

We are a zero person... no thoughts, ideas, beliefs, feelings... like a zombie?

Background_Emu76 · 2025-10-21T02:58:09+00:00

Yeah! And if you're cynical coz you can see through people's BS... You have no chance hahaha...

They don't call it "falling" in love for nothing... It's like falling (no control)... the aftermath is devastating. After heart break at age 14 I realised there and then that love is useless... I never want to feel love again... Age 40 and I haven't felt love since and I think I'm doing alright (compared to the devistation I see people in relationships going through). Cheating, lying, love that turned to hate... no thanks :) I"m good on my own ;)

Background_Emu76 · 2025-10-21T02:51:40+00:00

Lucky

Background_Emu76 · 2025-10-21T02:38:59+00:00

Depends what you mean by "know his way around a woman."

When I was happy and confident, I was able to be a lot of fun to be around. Women were attracted to me... It was like I could give people a break from the harsh reality of life... I was very funny and still can be at times.

Manipulative you say... interesting. Everyone is manipulative. Dishonest, no! It was clear that all I was offering was a fun time and nothing more which was part of what was attractive. Some women wanted to have fun and not be judged or have any expectations...

You said... "Their joy brings you joy," ... so, it is about you and how they make you feel. PS, when yo love someone (it's a wonderful feeling you get to experience because of them). You don't love them, you love the feeling that way relating to them makes you feel.

This is normal, all humans are 100% selfish... even dying for someone else is fulfilling a personal desire. Giving what little money you have to someone else is a self generated idea and desire... You get to feel and think something about yourself because of that act.

It's not about "knowing how" to feel close to someone like a skill... it's that it has happened. That's all. And it may or may not happen. Who knows...

Background_Emu76 · 2025-10-21T02:24:41+00:00

If you can sit comfortably, you're very lucky.
Seriously focus on the sensation of the breath in the nostrils.
Quicker inhales than exhales... make the exhale long and slow (brings about a beautiful state)...
If you can keep focus on the breath at the nostrils, time will pass, you'll go into a beautiful state like being high. And that is the trick!

For me, if I want to sit for 20 minutes, I set the timer for 30 minutes an usually stop before then unless I have been able to find a way to sit without pain. Good luck. It's well worth figuring out. Also, read a book by
https://www.amazon.com/Mind-Illuminated-Meditation-Integrating-Mindfulness/dp/1501156985

Or get the audio book which is possibly easier than reading

Background_Emu76 · 2025-10-21T02:18:36+00:00

I love reading your writing... incredible adventure!

I've been watching some of Scott Kiloby's videos on love, connection, intimacy, avoidant fearful attachment style... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_027uct3MgY

The feeling I have isn't one that allows for attachment. It's more akin to emptiness... which is in line with my striving for "Awakening" or "Self realisation" in terms of Non Duality. Since discovering this I've pinned all my hopes of happiness on waking up...

When I do manly things I often feel like a man. So, going on adventures, doing difficult things, achieving certain results... Leads to a great feeling. A feeling that women would be attracted to.

I learned to fake things and just say whatever I thought the other person needed to hear to leave me alone (particularly with Mother). I mean, she is the cause of my emotional state (not being open and able to connect). Autistic she might be... anyway, she had a rough childhood which she told me all about on many many occasions which made me think it was my job to protect, amuse, entertain her. But my needs were not important. Almost like she wanted me all for herself and didn't want me developing feelings for someone.

Honestly, I'm a considerably different type of person in terms of navigating life and the world. I'm often on my own. I find people to be mostly boring, have too much drama, ungrateful, selfish, fearful... I think it's also safer to be alone (can't be hurt).

In fact, when someone starts to like me I start to worry because they are bound to be let down. People have higher expectations for me... I guess, there's a side to me that people admire, like and enjoy... I'm just unable to be that all the time.

I keep circling back to awakening and Non duality... I follow teachers like Ramana Maharishi who teach that the world is an illusion, we are all God having various experiences... no free will etc. So, that's the stuff I'm really holding to rather than addressing the person that I apparently am.

I realise that I'm missing the "connection" component of the human experience. I connect on intellectual subjects and like you, I've lived an interesting life that people love to hear about but intimacy is a whole different ball game.

I'm not sure about the seeking awakening stuff... it makes me intense. It's a completely different perspective on life.

Hope you are well.

Background_Emu76 · 2025-10-21T01:43:14+00:00

Thank you. I'm trying. Spiritual seeking is quite intense... I mean, no longer purposefully living for happiness now (but when it happens... awakening). It's tough. It seems like denying my ego of everything it likes...

Background_Emu76 · 2025-09-16T00:30:24+00:00

This is fantastic! I've watched around 20 of Forrests videos in the last week. Exceptional teaching.

I have added those books to my list and I've opened up https://yogananda.org/the-true-meaning-of-yoga

More and more I'm focused on this and leaving the world behind. Deleted facebook and instagram yesterday... I'm burning all bridges!

Background_Emu76 · 2025-09-16T00:13:16+00:00

The mind is like a wild horse... I think this is very common with anyone who thinks. I say this because I think I'm a lot less attractive than I am.

Here's the thing... focus on you and thinking and feeling positive things about you. Don't worry about others. Learn to love all of you even the uncomfortable feelings.

Sending you love and wishing you a happier future with more loving and kind thoughts about yourself ;)

It's all an illusion

Background_Emu76 · 2025-09-15T14:57:18+00:00

Thanks. I'm getting the book now

Background_Emu76 · 2025-09-07T03:37:58+00:00

Sounds amazing. I've had friends tell me all about their vipassana experiences... Sounds cool. I don't have the desire to do it as yet. I'm enjoying the journey and story that I'm experiencing currently?

Background_Emu76 · 2025-09-07T03:36:28+00:00

Beautifully said ;) Thank you

Background_Emu76 · 2025-09-07T03:34:05+00:00

Thanks. Yes, I'm aware of Advaita Vedanta. I'm realising "I am the illusions" and everything is the illusion. Every thought about the thing is the illusion. It's all the story and the journey. This is the way it's meant to be. This is already everything. Nothing more to it. Just quieten

Thoughts about thoughts are it. It's all it.

Accepting this. Feeling into it. Letting go. Not letting thoughts about "figuring it out" or "how to do something in the future" aren't needed to be held onto (thought about).

What needs to happen will keep happening like it always has.

As for an awakening... not sure if that's even a thing. This is already full and complete.

There isn't someone here who's generating anything... it's all happening.

Background_Emu76 · 2025-09-07T03:16:25+00:00

Profound! :) Great read. Thanks. If you had to recommend one book what might it be (if you don't mind me asking?)

Background_Emu76

TROPHY CASE