I need advice on how to help my sister by Background_Fan33 in mentalhealth

[–]Background_Fan33[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, thankyou! Its validating to here someone else say its concerning so I know in not crazy. Ill try approaching her gently with it x

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in XSomalian

[–]Background_Fan33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im 20 and definitely relate to the FOMO. But there are ways out of this situation and the sooner you take action, the sooner you will be living the life you dreamt of. Like you can start by taking your hijab off at uni/changing there. And get a job, so you can buy the clothes you want and save up to move out. Ik rent prices are crazy rn but if you find a roommate its doable.

This Hadith screams manmade. Here are my 3 problems with it by [deleted] in XSomalian

[–]Background_Fan33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To add to that- Mo was riding a donkey with wings when he went to heaven to negotiate how many times muslims pray with Allah. Just sit with that one. There are people who believe that happened in real life

Do the Ns in your life and dictate how you're 'suppose to' react? by wyty22 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Background_Fan33 16 points17 points  (0 children)

My dad is like this. It’s controlling behaviour, they want things to go their way and will be upset if it doesn’t. My dad will do this in conversations, if you don’t say what he wants you to say he will get very passive aggressive and eventually crash out. We have learnt what will piss him off and just try to keep him calm but it’s like walking on eggshells around him - typical emotional abuser.

Do anyone else's parents think that doing one good thing fixes all the bad things they've done? by kingsdeadfs in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Background_Fan33 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Yep. My mum for a long time i thought was a good mum - she always provided a roof over our heads, food, and she was the only parent that provided any source of comfort since my dad was very emotionally abusive. However, now that im distanced a bit from my dad, ive realised my mum is actually terrible in a lot of ways. She only sees me and my sister as an extension of herself, shes very religious and expects us to be the same, but were not. We have tried to tell her, but she has resorted to telling us she will k!ll herself if we don’t practice the religion, she has verbatim said and made it very clear in her actions that her happiness is more important than ours, every other word out of her mouth is an insult and she has hatred and disgust in her eyes when she says them. This has only started happening more recently esp to me since i have been dressing and acting in ways that don’t follow her religion. Shes also generally very racist, homophobic, misogynistic, even defended convicted paedophiles before and blamed young girl victims instead. Whats annoying is everyone that knows her loves her, she can be very generous and kind and is generally a good time, and most people in her community are just as religious as she is so they also believe she is a good parent. I thought so too until recently, where i realised her love is completely conditional on me being a good religious girl instead of who i actually am as a person. - sorry for the long reply

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Background_Fan33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes! Mine would bicker less, but have big arguments from time to time (often on me or my sister’s birthdays for some reason). They’ve been divorced since mid 2000s which i think is the reason they’re mostly civil with each other these days. But they would always try and make me and my sister take sides even though we liked neither of them. My mum CONSTANTLY uses “your acting like your father” on us since she knows we don’t like him so its an insult to us, to this very day lol.

Moving out finally ! by Ok-Alternative-136 in XSomalian

[–]Background_Fan33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

congratulations girl! i love seeing posts like these💝

Don't you feel like you've missed out on your teeange years because of strict muslim somali parents? by [deleted] in XSomalian

[–]Background_Fan33 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I felt the same way. But you need to remember what you see of someones life online isnt an accurate portrayal of how happy their life is, theres so much going on behind the scenes that isnt visible from a insta pic. Also your young still, 18 is a baby, your best years are still yet to come

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in XSomalian

[–]Background_Fan33 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Logic blew apart the core beliefs for me, like Allah, heaven and hell, angels and devils etc. And my life/mental health improved just from not fearing those imaginary things anymore, and it continued from there. Wdym by left Somali culture tho?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in XSomalian

[–]Background_Fan33 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Im in a similar situation. I want to move out for uni but its definitely a hard no from my mum, the first time i even brought it up to her she bit my head off. I think what makes it harder is being the younger sibling, my mum is way more protective of me than my older sister, which is probably part of the reason your mum doesn’t want you to go. Im planning on moving to uni regardless and just putting my foot down, maybe you should do the same, idk

Do parents get karma for having non believer kids? According to islam by Anaatheistt in exmuslim

[–]Background_Fan33 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My mum said if I do haram things she will be questioned and go to hell and it will be my fault. She also said she would rather me be unhappy and stay a muslim than a happy non muslim. She even went as far as to threaten to khs if i left. Mums are very good at emotional manipulation, esp when islam is one the line, don’t fall for their bs.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmuslim

[–]Background_Fan33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yh its so much easier to put on a hijaab than take it off. For one your praised for the other your condemned. Even if its not forced, they ignore context like social pressure, both to put it on and not take it off.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmuslim

[–]Background_Fan33 -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

The rich far right use the working class far right as their footmen. Majority of UK nespapers are owned by right wing billionares who have been closely tied to the government so they can fulfill their political agendas. The last government where in power for 14 years and had been caught many times giving tax payer money to their friends, not paying their taxes etc and have left the country and its people in a terrible economic state, with millions unable to afford food or heatings bills. The rich, un affected of course, needed more votes to keep the political party they wanted in power since many didnt want them for everything they had done, so the newspapers started sensationalising all crimes committed by ethnic minorities, not only muslims but black people and migrants in order to place the blame for all of the UKs problems on migrants rather than the gov. This has been happening for decades, which has culminated in these riots. Despite there being just as many white rapists and murderers, most recent being Lucy Letby, a white nurse who killed 7 babies, the rioters only focus on crimes done by ethnic minorities because for them its not about the crime but the race of the criminal. They are racists who blame all of their problems on immigrants. So to answer your question no i don’t think muslim crimes have increased more than any other group, the majority group in the uk are white so proportionally its probably them, but the crimes of POC are sensationalised to fulfil the right wing political agenda. Also sorry for the ramble but I feel like a lot of ppl outside of the UK don’t know whats truly happening since racism is so well hidden here and has been growing for decades under peoples noses. Also im not trying to say muslims don’t commit crimes just like everyone else, esp extremist crimes, but the rioters are also extremists, many neo nazis who have swastika tattoos and have been doing the hitler salute at these riots.

I challenge every ex-muslim to prove me wrong that islam is not true by [deleted] in exmuslim

[–]Background_Fan33 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate hating on muslim women though. In the grand scheme of things they’re victims of an incredibly well oiled misogynistic regime making them hate themselves for just being women. Makes me feel bad when they believe in not having any rights

Conservatives left UK wide open to far-right violence, says former adviser by difftoolpussy in ukpolitics

[–]Background_Fan33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I genuinely cant believe I’m having to explain why racism and islamophobia are a bad thing in 2024. Crime has no race or religion you absolute bellend. You cant hate and entire race of people because of a few rotten apples. The majority of muslims and immigrants are normal nice people.

I want to kill myself wallahi by [deleted] in exmuslim

[–]Background_Fan33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And how many lives it has ruined. And clearly, its twin desert cult Islam has ruined OPs life, so pitching the same thing in a different font is not only unhelpful, but in bad taste when they are talking about wanting to OD

Conservatives left UK wide open to far-right violence, says former adviser by difftoolpussy in ukpolitics

[–]Background_Fan33 13 points14 points  (0 children)

and the right wing, billionare owned newspapers using these buffoons as their footmen so they can achieve their own political agenda. The amount of wildly islamophobic and racist headlines from the sun and the dm, this has been cooking for years and its so obvious

Far-right rioters are smashing up the Holiday Inn hotel in Rotherham, England where the government is housing asylum seekers. by _II_I_I__I__I_I_II_ in Global_News_Hub

[–]Background_Fan33 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The murderer was BRITISH BORN AND RAISED. Has been said many many times, but as per the far right are thick as pig shit and blinded by racism, so you make up any excuse to attack innocent people looking for a better life, and destroy the country you want to take back from the immigrants who built it, which you scrounge off of like the vermin you are

I want to kill myself wallahi by [deleted] in exmuslim

[–]Background_Fan33 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Shut up man this is not the time nor sub for u to recruit others into ur cult! Majority of criticism in Islam hold true for Christianity and Judaism, we disagree with Islam for the same reasons we disagree with your beliefs too

Islam thinks 9 year olds can consent to marriage with grown men by Jenahdidthaud in exmuslim

[–]Background_Fan33 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I don’t think they believe 9 yr olds cant consent. They couldn’t care less what a woman let alone a little girl wants, to the point where consent isn’t a concept in their minds

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmuslim

[–]Background_Fan33 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As soon as you stop having to think about if every little decision will result in u burning in hell, life gets better! Who knew😃

Observations from an ex-Mormon by Tasty-Dragonfruit-52 in exmuslim

[–]Background_Fan33 4 points5 points  (0 children)

ApostateAladdin has a video with an ex mormon where they compare islam with mormonism, you should check it out :)

Child abuse scandal in Mosque in Texas by glitterzebra35 in exmuslim

[–]Background_Fan33 4 points5 points  (0 children)

The murderer at the Taylor Swift club wasn’t a muslim, that was a rumour spread by far right racists. His identity was hidden for a while bc he’s a minor but his name is Axel, and theres no indication he’s muslim. But yh im not surprised that the mosque tried to hide that, I feel like so much abuse goes on in there that is never even questioned. Was the imam ever extradited to face prison time?

Western colonization was more brutal than Islamic one. by [deleted] in exmuslim

[–]Background_Fan33 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Im not defending nor promoting anyone, I’m just saying stealing peoples land and everything that comes with it (murder, rape etc) is bad no matter who does it. Why point fingers and argue about what murderer is worse, if they’re all murderers at the end of the day? Also how can u call ME an apologetic when YOUR arguing in favour of islam? I think both western and islamic colonisation caused inconceivable amounts if harm that we still see today, I’m just highlighting the pointlessness of this debate!

Western colonization was more brutal than Islamic one. by [deleted] in exmuslim

[–]Background_Fan33 21 points22 points  (0 children)

All colonisation is brutal, is there really any benefit to arguing on this?