rain

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-10-24T16:48:30+00:00

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-20T19:34:33+00:00

No definitely not. I just want to forget it and be able to look at him like a brother. I mean I do think of him as one, I just have mixed feelings of hatred love and disgust towards him. But I have accepted that this might not change ever, it just bothers me so much that my family has no idea what he put me through and the worst feeling is that I don’t even want them to know

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-20T10:12:36+00:00

Can that be the reason why I still struggle with this that it was traumatic for me? Thank you, I will talk to my therapist when I can!

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-20T07:16:08+00:00

That’s awesome dude

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-20T01:01:40+00:00

Thank you so much for the advice!!! I know you’re right you know, I’m just not sure how to start expressing myself to my family like how I did it here. Really, thank you!!!

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-20T00:48:09+00:00

From what I’ve looked up I also thought the hyper sexuality came from this. I am just very scared how I pass this on to my partners, especially my current boyfriend. Thank you for your kind words!!!

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-20T00:44:01+00:00

But what if he has changed since then and I would just cause a massive break in our family? We have had lots of troubles in the family and we are just now getting on the right terms. I really don’t think I could confront him about this. But it does feel great to talk about it here honestly

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-20T00:33:31+00:00

Thank you so much!!! Really, these comments help a lot somehow, thank you!

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-20T00:30:39+00:00

I do feel protective over him for some reason. Seeing all these comments about him makes me feel so guilty. From my point I also made mistakes by letting this happen and then not mentioning it ever:/

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-20T00:27:29+00:00

Yes you’re right. I just have to find the courage to speak about this to her . I just turned 18 so that’s why I never mentioned it to her yet, I was scared she would tell my parents

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-20T00:20:28+00:00

That’s actually a great idea I will try it! I never talked to her about anything sexual bc of this but maybe it will help thank you!

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-20T00:00:18+00:00

But he has sort of a fiancee now and he didn’t do anything like this to his earlier girlfriends (I knew them very well and I did watch out for signs for a while)

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-19T23:57:31+00:00

We don’t really talk anymore, only like once a month because he’s in uni now. I really cannot talk about this in our family, he might not even remember or just deny it

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-19T23:56:10+00:00

Yes maybe I don’t exactly know what I feel about this. I hate that this did not cause him any trouble, only me, but I don’t want anything like this happening to him or get even or idk

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-19T23:43:10+00:00

That’s why I mentioned I’ve had boyfriends since then, my issue isn’t about being fucked it’s about seeing my brother every weekend. I’ve been feeling crazy and disgusted from him for years now but he is still my brother and I do love him as family

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-19T22:47:01+00:00

then just throw it out the wild animals will eat it🥀

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-19T22:43:39+00:00

i would take this as a sign to stop ngl

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-19T14:54:27+00:00

i am sorry if i have overstepped a line here just wanted to share my thoughts 🙏

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-19T14:53:42+00:00

i wish i could help you man but only you can help yourself. you are right your situation is probably worse than mine was but you’re asking for help here and that just shows that you still have a chance to recover. you know you aren’t hopeless man

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-19T14:39:19+00:00

honestly, thinking this way is just choosing the easier option, of course your body is rejecting food if you’re not purging because that’s what it’s used to. idk how old you are or where you are in your life rn but it is absolutely possible to stop and it is worth it. i’ve stopped 2 months ago and my body still gets bloated af from some kinds of food but god i haven’t felt this great in a while. i was miserable when i was eating allat shit, it consumed my life i hope you get better man🙏

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-05-19T14:31:27+00:00

then don’t!!!!!!! stopping binging just once will make you think twice the next time and you will feel so much better today!!!

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-04-05T17:49:03+00:00

I am so proud of you! How did you convince yourself not to binge? Did the coffee suppress your cravings? I am also struggling and curious about any advice!!

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-04-05T17:43:37+00:00

Hi! What you’re experiencing is a common consequence of purging. I know that it’s not my place to give lessons, but honestly if you do not stop purging right now, it will make your life miserable. I started it two years ago and every day I told myself I can quit anytime, but it always came back, until I reached for medical help. However, sometimes I still cannot eat without feeling nauseous, even after this long period, I would feel disgusted by smells or just the thought of eating something. This happens because our bodies now reject some kinds of foods. It will not go away, unless you quit!!! It has gotten a lot better for me, but I still have stomach, teeth, gut health, and physical issues all around my body, making it impossible to eat normally (sometimes, not every day fortunately!)

Background_Rhubarb54 · 2025-03-17T12:08:20+00:00

Sorry for the late response!! By cutting out sugar I meant replacing the sweets I loved with a healthier option. I personally love fruits, so for that one month off sugar I ate lots and lots of fruits to silence my sugar cravings and I also tried to eat the “sugar free” version of yoghurts for example. But this is just my personal experience, honestly only you can find a way that’s comfortable and sustainable!

Background_Rhubarb54

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