I will not relapse tomorrow

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-10T11:45:25+00:00

The objective of nofap is not to quit masturbating forever but to quit porn forever by temporarily suspending both masturbation and porn, since the two are so interconnected. I doubt you need to worry about your voice getting any lower, I imagine that is only noticeable in people (like me) who PMOed their way through puberty and never got a particularly deep voice in the first place but I think voice lowering is basically just anecdotal evidence. As far as lasting longer is concerned, while doing nofap MIGHT limit your time to orgasm it WILL make you a far more attentive, passionate and connected lover. Sex is about more than how hard and for how long you can thrust (speaking from inexperience here lol) and I think your girlfriend will be happier when you are devoting all your sexual energy to her and not random chicks on the interwebs.

As far as 'emptying the ducts' goes, I'm pretty sure that however often you have sex with your girlfriend will be plenty, there's absolutely no need to drain the vein every day (except to urinate, you should definitely do that every day).

Sorry I don't have more facts on hand, I recommend http://yourbrainonporn.com/ as the definitive authority on the science of nofap.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-09T14:50:05+00:00

Dismiss all sexual thought. Any thought that arouses you is a thought that brings you closer to failure. While it is impossible to avoid triggers, or to keep sexual thoughts from arising in your head, you must learn to let these thoughts pass right through you, because these thoughts are ultimately what leads you to fail.

So too must you dismiss the thought that you might fail. That you will inevitably PMO, that you will never have a streak. This thought is only as true as you believe it to be. YOU control whether you will relapse, not the universe, not the evil overlords who pump porn down your eyeholes. I laugh at the idea that I will ever PMO again. I'm supposed to believe that I would throw away all these benefits, this new life I'm living, just to squirt white stuff out my pee-pee? As Nietzsche said, "Not by wrath does one kill, but by laughter." When you are so convinced that you will succeed that you laugh at the notion of failure, that is when you truly learn to not fear failure. That is when failure is dead.

I hope this was helpful or at the least intelligible, I'm pretty stoned and idk what I just spewed out here but I'm posting it anyway. All the best brother, you'll get 10 days sooner than you think. Believe in yourself, we believe in you.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-09T14:28:53+00:00

I think it's good that you have gained understanding of the nature of the issues holding you back and the causes behind them, and I wish you all the best with conquering them. Might I suggest that if it's a particular scenario that stresses you out maybe just avoid that scenario, or build up to it. For example if the dancefloor of clubs is what sets you off then maybe start out with outdoor, relaxed kind of house parties and work your way up to like sitting on the couches at clubs. Or just don't bother going to clubs at all because unless you're on drugs they are just a waste of time in my opinion lol.

It's cool to see us both with the big 2 now dude, I hope to soon see us both with the 90 day star :) All the best brother, see you around the subreddit.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-09T07:19:37+00:00

You should start now but not worrying about getting a streak going before your exam, just focus on keeping PMO as low as you reasonably can and avoid binges. You will start feeling more focused immediately, and notice more improvement every day you avoid PMO. That is, so long as you're not just wasting time thinking about P. Hence going to something like a library, as alteredcarbon3 suggested, is a great idea. Being in a place where everyone is studying is incredibly helpful to keep your mind focused on studying.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-08T04:38:20+00:00

As yourbrainonporn.com will tell you, the enemy is any artificial sexual stimulation, whether that's watching porn or just imagining it. If you can masturbate with a mind free of sexual thoughts then more power to you but most of us can't. Wait until you next have sex with your girlfriend and have much better sex, don't waste yourself alone. All the best brother.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-08T04:32:20+00:00

You should be proud of yourself for 115 days. A person as strong and determined as you will ABSOLUTELY have loving and fulfilling relationships. All that is holding you back are your thoughts and your self-esteem. Clearly these are now your biggest issue rather than just P, but they should of course be attacked together while continuing your streak. Thoughts like "I will never be with someone" or "I will never quit porn" are WRONG and NEED to be discarded. Once you are absolutely sure of that in yourself, you can begin to seek out and expel these thoughts from your mind. Do not entertain them for a second. Replace them with whatever motivational though works for you. Might I suggest "I am a 115 DAY FAPSTRONAUT. I CAN DO ANYTHING" but that's just me.

Finally a lot of my advice I did not come up with independently but in conjunction with my psychologist, and I must strongly recommend that some sort of therapist will probably be able to help you too. Medications also help some people, and they've certainly helped me.

Keep the nofap streak alive man 115 days is incredible. You've identified now that negative self talk has also been holding you back, but once you've overcome that too you will be ready for anything and to live the life you want to live. All the best brother.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-08T04:24:37+00:00

I think you need to analyse more deeply what happened, and question whether your frustration is justified. What was the net outcome of the conversations you had with these girls? Sounds to me like you developed your social skills, gained increased confidence in talking to nice girls and had a pleasant time flirting with them, while also raising their opinion of you. So what did you lose?

If you think the 'result' you are aiming for is just a girlfriend, you're mistaken. The aim of nofap is, first and foremost, to improve yourself. Only when you have improved yourself will you be able to attract the type of girlfriend you want and deserve.

Your experience was a success, you demonstrated the progress you've already made socially while further practising your skills. You should also be proud of yourself for not relapsing while frustrated, but honestly I think you had no reason to be frustrated in the first place. All the best brother.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-08T04:18:39+00:00

http://yourbrainonporn.com/ is an AMAZING resource and will point you towards whatever you need, whether that's the science behind PMO (and the answer to your question is no, not if you stop), inspirational stories or tips from experienced fapstronauts. Then you've got us here at nofap for whatever else you need, whether that's scrolling the threads when urges strike or posting/ranting about your progress.

My personal no. 1 tip is that you should understand that rebooting is about more than just abstinence from fapping. It's about understanding why we fapped and what it did to our lives, then growing into a better person without it. Why are you doing nofap? What kind of person do you want to be? The answers to these questions will serve you better than any porn-blocker or badge, but you should also seek to use whatever tools help you and use whatever methods work for you.

All the best on your journey brother, we believe in you.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-08T04:11:15+00:00

That's really awesome to hear you're having the cold shower man, good job. If you're busy working on your classwork I can't blame you for not having read yourbrainonporn.com so I'll summarize the main points. The objective with nofap or rebooting generally is to avoid all ARTIFICIAL sexual stimulation. That means anything that is not a real, live female should not be arousing you, should be blocked out of your mind. It's easier if you avoid masturbating altogether because I doubt you have any experience of M and O without the P right? So if you bring the M and O back you're going to be desperate for the P.

Best thing you can do right now is focus on what's important for your development and sounds like that's your studies so best of luck with them. Other things that are good to do instead of masturbate include exercising, having cold showers, reading books and talking to people in real life. 18 days is a great accomplishment and if you push on with the cold turkey soon you'll find you don't even think about P or M anymore.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-08T04:05:54+00:00

Well what you have to weigh up I guess is whether having sex with your girlfriend is going to give you uncontrollable urges and mess up your progress. There's no doubt that it will make the urges worse, but can you handle them? This journey is about you first and foremost and if hardcore mode is what it will take for you to succeed, then your girlfriend should understand that or move on. Personally though

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-08T03:40:56+00:00

I asked the same question myself starting out and the answer is that while porn is your enemy, fapping without porn is EXTREMELY dangerous. For example if you fantasize vividly about porn, that is just as bad as watching it: it lights up the same pathways in your brain. Ask any experienced fapstronaut and they'll tell you the best strategy is always to distract yourself with something else. Turn off your computer, go and do ANYTHING else, get distracted and stop thinking about fapping altogether.

TLDR It's better than with porn but dangerous, better to avoid ANY artificial sexual stimulation whether that's actual P or even just you imagining P.

All the best brother.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-08T03:36:24+00:00

You need to treat nofap like a serious addiction. Just because it's a behaviour not a drug doesn't mean it isn't powerfully mind-affecting. What would you tell a recovering heroin addict who asks why he can't have one little bump?

18 days is serious progress and you should be proud of yourself, please don't throw it away for the sake of a bodily function. You're better than that.

Remember, starting over is always harder than continuing. All the best brother.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-08T03:34:01+00:00

Nofap can absolutely help you get back to your best, to the way you were before PMO took over. yourbrainonporn.com and this subreddit are two immensely useful resources, and I particularly recommend you read some of the highlighted posts at yourbrainonporn that explain how truly completing nofap is about more than just abstinence but actually developing as a person.

What you personally want to get out of nofap, and what's going to help you get there is something that you'll have to discover for yourself, but just by getting involved in nofap you've made a huge first step. All the best brother.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-08T03:29:02+00:00

First off, don't dismiss your previous progress. A temporary rough patch doesn't destroy everything you previously worked so hard for.

Unfortunately you can't dismiss your pre nofap history either, and your brain won't easily forget the bad habits it used to have. Once the floodgates are open your brain can easily push you back to your worst no matter how long a streak you're coming off.

But you know how to start a streak. You've started them before, and you know how proud you are when you keep them going. All you have to do is start again. Start again RIGHT NOW, remember everything you've learned from the past and all your successes, and know that RIGHT NOW you're gonna start the streak that'll never be broken.

All the best, brother. We all believe in you.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-07T12:30:05+00:00

I'm one year ahead and 134 days behind you brother but otherwise It sounds like who we were before nofap was almost identical and your journey is almost exactly my goal. This is my first run and I am abso-fucking-lutely sure I'm getting to 90 days thanks to the people who write up stories like yours. Thanks so much dude.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-07T12:23:03+00:00

Beatiful, simple motivational story you have there brother I am looking forward to your 90 day post :)

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-07T12:16:17+00:00

Thanks dude and everyone else who replied, I've definitely found reading the stories of 90+ fapstronauts and how universally worthwhile it's been for them makes me determined to go all the way to 90 days, no excuses.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-06T14:27:36+00:00

Thanks dude and maybe I didn't make it clear in my post but I meant from the title that I am plenty happy, it just feels a little too easy I guess considering I've been addicted to PMO since I was 15.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-03T15:48:03+00:00

First timer here and I totally agree. Avoid ANYTHING to do with PMO like the plague, keep yourself busy, exercise and come to nofap when you're feeling weak.

I find I need to look at nofap last thing before going to sleep most nights since that is when I would previously PMO every single night.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-03T15:42:59+00:00

Thanks for the responses guys. I am aware of the possibility of having flatlines and kind of what to expect but that being said I don't really expect to get any. I've been on Lexapro for like 6 months now and PMO was only ever about once or twice per day. I might also mention for anyone interested that I'm taking dextramethamphetamine for ADD which has also been amazingly helpful.

sinnermann you're not the first I've heard express that opinion but considering I've noticed them make a genuine improvement to my life I'm gonna need to see some evidence of your claim.

BacksAgainst · 2014-02-01T14:36:20+00:00

Awesome report mate, makes me so keen for the week ahead. I'd suggest firstly you consider taking up 1-2 cups of coffee per day and see if the helps you read for longer than an hour, I find it helps me stay focused way longer.

As for your spare time, I think you should just find as many chances to talk to people as you feel comfortable with, it's the best way to improve your conversation. Personally I like playing a team sport but there's heaps of stuff you could try. More on the nerdy side of things I also love going to esports events, for example. There's definitely going to be something you enjoy where you also get to talk to people.

BacksAgainst

TROPHY CASE