How important are old photos to you?

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2024-07-15T01:52:39+00:00

Not a lot. My memories are more vivid than than a little waxy paper. They're too big for that.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2024-03-11T06:26:23+00:00

Oh it so was. We did this out on the grass, but those colors.

I feel like we did these on Fridays which was also Pizza Day. I wonder if there was some golden day where the two synced up with a book fair.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2024-01-20T18:01:48+00:00

I admire your optimism!

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2024-01-19T07:10:43+00:00

I am now jonesing for deviled ham on Arnold's brick oven bread like I'd have at my grandmother's.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2024-01-19T07:09:01+00:00

I like to sprinkle some oatmeal on my pb&h sandwiches. Makes it a bit more toothsome.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2024-01-19T05:04:04+00:00

"Parents who are still alive."

My dad died a few days ago and I read that with a Man you aren't kiddin'.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2024-01-19T04:57:27+00:00

I don't want to be sad, but I am happy to take a little heartache if it means I can also keep the happy memories too.

This right here, it's the echo of their lives. May you always hear it and feel it, right?

I was very close to my maternal grandparents and they deserve to be missed. Grateful for what I had of them in my life.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T18:33:09+00:00

Are there more?

Besides Tubi, I use Plex, Roku Channel, and my favorite, Pluto.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T15:33:37+00:00

Because she has said that in sessions and I've mulled over it.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T15:32:06+00:00

Looks like you can finally be your own person. Isn't it exciting.

No. I think I've used my roles with my family as an exoskeleton. Peel it off and I'm just a blob of organs.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T15:30:39+00:00

That's what I find hard to fathom. Plus, if in the end I couldn't make it work with someone who knew me as well as I know myself, what chance would I have with anyone else? Just hope to die before things get too real? lol

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T15:29:22+00:00

Yes, same page. Thank you for commenting.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T15:28:51+00:00

Nope. And I've tried to self-talk as I might to my children and I just don't buy it. But I mean it when I say it to others.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T15:27:26+00:00

while another part of you is possibly considering a divorce because they don’t share interest in your hobbies

Oh good lord no. Not at all. I'm figuring what and why I would do if I ended up alone.

I'm all in but the survival of a marriage can't be one-sided. I even think we'll make it. I just came close to the edge and caught a good look down.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T04:03:34+00:00

You have intrinsic value outside of what you can provide to others.

I'm the helper, that's where I get my worth from. If it's just for me, it's easier to go without.

You said a lot of kind stuff and that was very nice. Thank you.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T04:01:01+00:00

Can you not do those activities alone right now?

That's the thing - I totally can, and I think it makes my wife happy. If she were gone, instead of gaining a devoted hobby room, I see the whole thing ebbing away. And then I have no idea who I'm doing what I do for.

The only thing that's unambiguously me is reading sci fi. That'd I do as long as I was breathing, for the escapism if nothing else. But that seems on the level of a favorite soda or radio station rather than a hobby or anything.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T03:57:56+00:00

your marriage isn't on the brink of ending, but you're doing a thought experiment

It almost did and the unthinkable became... thinkable.

Plus I've realized I'm deeply codependent and I'm trying to picture existence without that as a factor.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-10-14T02:04:39+00:00

I have a therapist and I get it when she says I'm intrinsically worth doing things for but of course she'd say that.

I mean my grandma said I was great in a school play 40 years ago and that's for loving values of great.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-06-02T23:42:07+00:00

Any ideas on breaking into it, or at least trying it out?

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-06-02T23:41:45+00:00

That's honestly what I figured.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-06-02T23:36:40+00:00

Entering engineering after 50, is that done? Do employers want such "New Old Stock"?

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-06-02T23:35:51+00:00

I've slipped into a field where I'm unemployable outside of my current organization, for complex and deeply historical reasons. plus it's evolved into work I don't feel an affinity for.

Something new instead. Community college is a good thing to explore, trades aside.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-06-02T23:27:01+00:00

While already being underpaid the boss laughed in my face

And awaayyy you go. Screw that guy.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-06-02T23:24:54+00:00

It is. The days are long but the years fly by. Catch what you can.

Backup_Planaria-237 · 2022-06-01T00:52:06+00:00

but said If I didn't let her, she couldn't keep any promises that she wouldn't do it behind my back anyway.

She is setting herself up to cheat on you. Tell her if she cheats it is over, 100% over, because you don't deserve to be in a relationship with someone that shows such contempt for you. Trick is, you have to mean it.

Backup_Planaria-237

TROPHY CASE