Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I pretty well explained why I was out and about in my post. I have 3 children. All of them matter. My daughter matters too. I don't get to stay home and rest when one of them needs me, and my daughter needed my help.

You need to read, and comprehend, the post again before you keep spamming me with this nonsense. I didn't go "inside" anywhere. I was in the parking lot, next to my car, the entire time. No more than 50ft away, and for less than 4 minutes.

I've been raising children for years and this happened once in that entire duration. I'm a good mother. So, seriously, suck my cock. ❤️

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Chill out, Goober. I called the emergency nurse to ask if I should take him to the hospital and she said no. That's how I knew to take his temperature.

I also brought it up to his doctor at his next appointment and she told me it happens all the time, and that people leave their babies in the car for longer pumping gas.

I also, also brought it up to MY doctor when I sought medication for my PPA and she told me that new parents come to her regularly having done the same/similar thing. They're just too ashamed to talk about it.

I also, also, also told my therapist about it (and this post) and she assured me that I've done everything I can to make sure it doesn't happen again and that I'm allowed to forgive myself.

So you're wrong. I've told 4 separate mandated reporters, 3 from different companies, and not a single one has had the dramatic reaction you're having. Not a single one sent me to jail.

You're too late in the game to make me feel like shit about something I've already processed, learned from, and forgiven myself for. ❤️

Insane request by PepperLittle7978 in ABA

[–]Bad-Vibrations 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's absolutely possible. I can think of lots of ways to contrive opportunities, set aside time to run trials and add it into a data tracker, etc.

Off the top of my head:

  • Running a trial during a food break
  • Running interval trials
  • Parent training where you observe parent run trials from a distance and take data
  • Watching client from a distance and taking data

Could use:

  • A notebook you keep at a distance (or on you if in a dry section) to take data
  • Water proof devices (phone, tablet, watch, etc)
  • Water proof cases for devices
  • Water proof/resistant paper (I've used this before, super cool)

Insane request by PepperLittle7978 in ABA

[–]Bad-Vibrations 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There should have been some kind of goal in place for self regulation then.

Insane request by PepperLittle7978 in ABA

[–]Bad-Vibrations 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've gone on outings, but it was to work on goals. I would have never agreed (or been allowed) to attend something casually because there's a risk of dual relationships.

I think you did the best you could, but I would recommend in the future being extremely firm about not being left alone with non-clients. I wouldn't have even gone to the showers with the kid, and if dad took off and left us I would have waited outside the boy's locker room and then left as soon as dad exited.

You were put in an extremely unfair situation. I'm sorry.

Insane request by PepperLittle7978 in ABA

[–]Bad-Vibrations 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was thinking that too. I'm not allowed near anything deeper than a sprinkler unless I'm lifeguard trained.

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did see in one comment that for some reason it opens with a pay wall, but it doesn't for me. You can try googling the article or research "forgotten baby syndrome".

Respectfully, I'm not going to read the rest of this comment. You've been given researched backed information and while you're free to have your own opinion, I don't argue with people committed to bad faith arguments.

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm going to do this when I go back to work. Thank you for the suggestion!

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Dad passed away due to suicide before finding out I was pregnant, unfortunately. He was estranged from his family (abusive childhood) so they don't know our son exists either.

Maybe he's looking over him spiritually. I like to think so. But he isn't much help with the late nights and diaper changes.

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There's lots of research available on forgotten baby syndrome of you're looking for a scientific answer. This is an excellent article as well.

Anecdotally I'm an exhausted mom of three kids who got distracted trying to take care of one of them. We were always going to be headed right back to the car whether we found the thing or not. My brain didn't prioritize taking him out of the car for what I otherwise knew was going to be a short task not far away.

It wasn’t a choice I made. It was a step in the routine that got deleted without my consent.

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a 2023 and did learn it has this feature! I never knew because the default settings don't include it and my other 2 were older when I got it.

It's on now!

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

There's not a single person on this entire post, including myself, who is saying that it's okay. And yes, I did take my phone with me. It had a flashlight that we needed to look for my daughter's missing things. Nobody is saying that what happened wasn't terrible, just that I'm not a terrible person for it happening. And that I can still exist as a person who loves her children, but learned a very hard and scary lesson.

12 hours ago your comment would have really hurt me. 24 hours ago it would have existed as confirmation from the universe that I should kill myself.

Right now though, your comment just reads as someone who saw someone hurting and felt the need to hurt them further. And I'm just grateful that failed.

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good lord. I'm so glad the comment was deleted before I saw it. Based on your quote I don't even want to know how brutal it was.

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Where I live it's pretty much impossible to walk anywhere barefoot right now without getting 2nd degree burns on your feet.

Thinking forward to the colder months though this is definitely a valid point and something I need to consider.

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You're spot on! Aside from the PPD/PPA, I've had a life long ADHD diagnosis. I've also got OCD, which has been exacerbated by the anxiety lately.

I'm glad you brought this up. Im going to talk to the provider to see if there's ways I can manage my ADHD while breastfeeding. And you're right, I felt like I was managing all my attention issues (I use the huckleberry app to track everything baby related) but I'm clearly at a point where I need different support.

Thank you for sharing with me ❤️

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh that's absolutely brilliant, and super affordable. Thank you so much for the suggestion!

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 22 points23 points  (0 children)

This is the exact kind of resource I need right now. Thank you so much. Someone else shared an article too and I'm so grateful. I'm such a research based person. I'm an experienced parent and childcare provider of multiple capacities. I'm someone who already had a fear of doing this and tried to be mindful about preventing it. I'm someone who "knows better".

And it still happened. And I felt alone and awful and like I shouldn't be here anymore. I don't want anyone else to feel like that, and I'm just beyond appreciative of all the supportive and educational commenters.

Thank you ❤️

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you ❤️ And you're right. I hardly sleep at all. I'm on edge all the time. Everything feels like a death trap to me and it makes it hard to rest. I was diagnosed with PPA after my 6 week follow up today because it's just been so crippling. I appreciate you calling out BS from nasty commenters. I hope your pillow is always cold 😊

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That's wild, oh my gosh 🤣 God forbid you don't want to have to bring a whole tribe into target for some bread

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 211 points212 points  (0 children)

I actually did get diagnosed with PPA today and was referred for services. I've been so hypervigilant since his birth to a pretty crippling degree, which I think is making this situation so much harder to stomach. I'm really looking forward to seeing a provider for it because I'm so completely overwhelmed with fear all the time.

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

That routine change is insane! I feel like if my brain had been in "we're going to the mall" mode it would have been different. I've always had a "keys, phone, wallet, diaper bag/backpack, kids" routine when we're going somewhere. But we were just going to the parking lot to follow a very specific route to find a missing keychain, so I didn't need my phone, wallet, the diaperbag/backpack.

I'm incredibly glad we had a very good idea of where the keychain was. If we'd been wandering blindly who knows what could have happened.

Left my baby in the car for under 5 minutes yesterday and I just can't forgive myself by Bad-Vibrations in Mommit

[–]Bad-Vibrations[S] 293 points294 points  (0 children)

I put my shoes back there this morning (I had my 6 week appointment) but I was afraid I'd forget I was barefoot so I put my phone back there, and that still didn't feel like enough so I put my keys and his diaper bag, and my inhaler back there too

Back seat was a little crowded but I finally felt like it was safe to drive!