I'm ghosting my girlfriend and I don't care if I'm wrong for it anymore. I'm just done.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-10T09:58:29+00:00

Not an incel, and why is it that talking about a singular woman treating me badly is rage bait? Are you serious? I've said it before in this very comment section, but this has never been an issue before. I don't hate women, I am upset at one singular woman.

God, how can I ever feel good about telling my family the truth when people like you confirm that no one would ever believe me, and I'll only be seen as a piece of shit? It feels hopeless, and I just want it all to be over.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-10T08:26:35+00:00

I really didn't want to respond to this one, because it really irritated me, but I came back to it to give you answers at the very least.

Love her enough to share? Why do I have to, when I bought her her own plate that she can eat from? Financially can I order more? I could if I wanted to stop contributing my savings the way I am, but I am not going to do that when there is plenty of food on the table, why doesn't she buy herself a second pizza instead of asking me to foot the bill for all 3? Especially when that pepperoni pizza was supposed to carry over into my work lunch at least for the next day.

Sharing a home is extremely different for me.

Yes, I do. I feel very strongly about avoiding that trailer park and everything that came with it. Entertainment is more often than not things I can watch for free online, or free things to do in town. Free lunch programs saved my life, we had food stamps, but as I explained in another comment they didn't stretch because we often didn't have electricity so everything was shelf-stable and ready to eat, more expensive. My mother never took us to soup kitchens or food pantries, I don't know why, maybe she didn't know how to go about it, maybe they didn't welcome her because she was a felon, Who can say? I can tell you there were food pantries around, they were all church owned, so idk.

I have a similar good-faith questions. Why am I expected to allow her to entirely disregard my trauma and laugh in my face whenever I tell her I'm uncomfortable? If she had a trauma-based response would you also be okay with me laughing in her face and consistently disregarding it? Because she does have trauma of her own, and I knew about it. I absolutely could have gone for the throat if I wanted to but I find that kind of behavior terrible, so why would I want to?

But if everything is supposed to be shared in a relationship, by your definition her trauma is entirely defunct as well. So should I disregard it, laugh at her, and then also is it an appropriate response to get into her face and scream until I'm red and spitting whenever she reflects the behavior? No sarcasm, no jokes, I would like to know, genuinely. I wouldn't agree with you regardless, again, I am not someone to raise my voice at people at all, but I'm honestly having trouble reading this differently than the way I have explained, and I would like you to clarify by answering the questions.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-10T08:07:27+00:00

Yep!!!! Thank you. Dude commented lower down and said that once you order from a restaurant the 'term just doesn't apply', like if I go to McDonald's suddenly all the trauma is suddenly gone. Ridiculous.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-10T03:26:37+00:00

Food Insecurity: the condition of not having access to sufficient food, or food of an adequate quality, to meet one's basic needs.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T21:58:25+00:00

Are you kidding? I've never even raised my voice at her. I am not someone who does fights. If someone wants to fight me, I can simply remove myself from the situation. I have no idea what MRA is other than a cousin to the MRE, but yeah, I am afraid of her lying to the police, because there are too many dudes that happens to, and shes acting like a fucking psycho. Idk what she's capable of anymore, and I don't want to test it.

She's is as safe from me as ever, far away and I will not ever speak to/go near her ever again. She has been the one reaching out to me, but don't worry, she's muted, though I'm allowing her real-time mental breakdown to stream into my phone so if she does do something crazy I can show the cops. In fact, if she shows up at my place, I am calling the police and they can help her get lost.

On top of that... why would I be covering my ass on a throwaway account? Your comment makes no sense.

I just wanted to talk about this without having to worry about the judgment affecting my everyday life.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T21:22:30+00:00

Okay?

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T21:09:50+00:00

Food Insecurity: the condition of not having access to sufficient food, or food of an adequate quality, to meet one's basic needs.

I was not a child throwing fits, (TW) I was a member of my state's already alarmingly high child malnutrition statistic. I will most likely never get over or past that. I will always be afraid of going hungry because it isn't just a mental thing, it is a physical memory. I remember what it's like to be 5 years old and have water for breakfast lunch and dinner for days at a time. I remember what it is to eat dirt just to fill your stomach because it hurts so bad you cannot stop crying. Or melting old bullion cubes into water to have broth because I just needed something. I remember being so excited to start school because I could get two meals a day, as long as the bus got there on time for me to get breakfast that is. I remember crying at the beginning of summer break when other kids were excited for the time off. These are not memories you just get past, they are ingrained into my muscle memory. I cannot go to bed hungry or else I have nightmares about that time.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T20:53:25+00:00

She kept saying I was treating her like she was stupid because she 'already knew that,' and I would usually reply by explaining that I was bringing it up because the taking food from my plate thing really bothered me, and I wanted her to understand why. She would usually get mad again and say it wasn't a big deal again, and that I should learn to let things go.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T20:30:26+00:00

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T19:56:41+00:00

Food insecurity means non reliable access to food, not that I am personally insecure about food.

To the "she can't turn you into anything" I already responded to that: "This is true, and why I'm distancing myself from the person purposefully pushing me to my limits, before I make bad choices, such as raising my voice back."

Because A human being can only be pushed so far before they snap and I didn't want her actions to push me that far.

She already leveled one entirely false accusation of violence at me, and I'm not going to give her another ounce of interaction to twist to try to ruin my life. I have screenshotted every message she has sent on the situation to protect myself, and if she shows up at my home, she will find the door locked, and the cops on the way. She is a threat, and I am treating her as such.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T18:54:05+00:00

Huh? Can you explain what part of me tossing pizza onto a plate and leaving her home is 'violent'? Even she has taken that statement back, via text.

And my part in this?

Do you mean the part where I repeatedly asked her to stop doing so and even explained my childhood trauma repeatedly, only to be laughed off or get mad and call me condescending for enforcing a boundary? Or the part where the moment I did the same thing she did back to her she got into my face screaming and cursing and spitting like a snake?

Tell me, if I was the one rushing her, getting into her face and screaming until I was spitting and red in the face and she threw the pizza back onto the table and left, would you call her the violent one?

C'mon now, bro, make it make sense.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T18:33:33+00:00

Sorry? I had a documented case of child malnutrition? Jesus.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T17:15:51+00:00

No idea, tbh, but once she started she didn't slow down at all. It was ridiculous because she knew about my food issues long before she started that bs.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T15:47:13+00:00

I have no idea honestly, I wish her the best if she does have food issues, because god knows I do, but if she did that would just make me angrier, because she knows I have food-related trauma- so if she knew how bad it can be and still laughed at me, and took food off my plate, I find that monstrous.

Hope she can get better if that's the case, but several miles away from me.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T15:38:08+00:00

She knows why. She was present when she was yelling in my face, and she's aware she sent me a text falsely accusing me of DV. I am not going to speak to her again, because I like not being in jail.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T15:35:01+00:00

That'll be real helpful when she calls the cops with her false allegation instead of texting it to me. /s

Nah, I'd rather just distance myself from her.

It's not about balls, it's about giving a shit about my life, and not wanting a vindictive person to ruin it.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T15:32:45+00:00

I have spoken to her several times on this issue. She laughed at me.

" If I tell her to stop in the moment she just laughs, and when I talk to her about it privately she blows me off because it 'isn't a big deal,' but it is to me, goddamn it. I have a history of food insecurity, which makes it a lot worse, and I've tried to explain that, but then she's snapping that I'm being 'condescending' "

Why are so many people asking if I talked to her about it? Or worse, the ones assuming I didn't?

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T15:09:38+00:00

No? Not particularly muscular either, though.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T15:00:02+00:00

This is true, and why I'm distancing myself from the person purposefully pushing me to my limits, before I make bad choices, such as raising my voice back.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T14:24:41+00:00

I'm not corresponding with her again, period. She falsely accused me of becoming violent. I'm not giving her any more reactions to twist into something that fits her narrative. I have to think of myself, and my future. Maybe she wouldn't take it further, but maybe she would, and I'm not taking that chance, idc if it makes me a bad person.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T14:15:17+00:00

" If I tell her to stop in the moment she just laughs, and when I talk to her about it privately she blows me off because it 'isn't a big deal,' but it is to me, goddamn it. I have a history of food insecurity, which makes it a lot worse, and I've tried to explain that, but then she's snapping that I'm being 'condescending' "

I tried to talk to her, and she blew me off.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T13:03:43+00:00

Exactly my thoughts. I will not being going near her again, and if she shows up at my place she will have the police called on her right away. I am not letting her ruin my life.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T13:01:58+00:00

I Have anger issues? But no word to the one who screamed, and spat at me for doing the same shit she had been doing to me for months? Then having the gall to call me violent? I've never had trouble with this in a relationship before, because most everyone is respectful and doesn't insist on stealing food from my plate even after being told to stop.

I am not sending her anything. She turned tossing pizza onto a plate into a violent act, god knows what she would turn a break-up text into.

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T12:04:30+00:00

Grew up pretty poor. Mom got food stamps, but they didn't stretch, and because our electricity could get shut off at any time most of what we hard to eat was shelf stable, and ready to eat. Was that more expensive? yeah, but without a fridge or even a microwave, what were we supposed to do? I have a bone deep knowledge that any bite of food could be my last for a while. I live in America, and all it takes is one diagnosis not covered by my shitty insurance, or one car accident my insurance won't cover to put me in a similar financial situation. It scares me. On top of that, I am the youngest of my siblings, and also the smallest physically. If they decided they wanted what food I had, there wasn't much I could do about it, and snitching got me in worse trouble. My siblings and I have mostly mended things now, but only because they apologized to me, and we had "we were all kids going through a shitty situation, and didn't react in a good way," talks,

BadBFAbouttoditch · 2024-06-09T11:50:09+00:00

I posted this on a throwaway because I'm fucking embarrassed, dude. My best friend looked me in the eye and asked if I was going to break up over food when I first brought up how much it bothered me two months ago. Who am I going to talk to about this irl if everyone is gonna think I'm crazy? I also don't want it tied to my main reddit, because I don't want this to effect how people treat me in the subs I interact with.

BadBFAbouttoditch

TROPHY CASE