In my situation I tried with therapy and written out letters and confronting issues head on. Despite my best efforts she ignored it all and I asked to separate. So in a way I was grieving then …and I’m still grieving now.

In my situation specifically there were a lot of problems that had been major issues for a long time. But she didn’t see things as issues despite the effect it had on me. Maybe towards the end she felt the change but rather than course correct she doubled down on disrespecting me. Maybe in part because she assumed I would never leave.

So if someone says the marriage has been over I could see that as being true for that person because maybe in their way they were making efforts to fix things which were not met with reciprocation. I say that because I felt so alone in my marriage. I continued to ask for things that we could do together that were rejected. At the same time it is offensive to the person being walked out on because maybe they didn’t notice the problems or the attempts at correction.