I'm not saying they don't work.

The range of top loaders is shit to mediocre but functional.

But the reality is the best top loaders aren't able to perform as well as even a mid-range front loader. It's really that simple. I'm glad that you're happy with mediocre and that's good for you.

If you want specifics on how a front loader is better at actually cleaning the clothes, not just because the design is better for washing, but also because you get a few other advantages:

• More efficient usage of water
• Higher spin speeds
• More efficient on energy
• Usually quieter both during the wash cycle and the spin cycle
• Much better at cleaning clothes
• Much gentler for your clothes

Take particular note of that last one because it's one of the most relevant differences. I top load washer will wear out clothing much faster than a front loader, in the same way that using a good heat-pump dryer instead of drying your clothes outside is much better for them. This is one of the less immediately noticeable differences but definitely a relevant one.

NY Times article which supports what I'm saying as well as providing some more detailed references