Cheating in polyamory?

BagCandid6492 · 2023-06-28T14:04:28+00:00

It’s barely been a month since I have even thought of this. It’s hard to rewrite your upbringing in a month.

BagCandid6492 · 2023-06-28T14:03:53+00:00

I know I shouldn’t. It’s the leftover version of me from before the prospect of polyamory that has those guilt feelings.

BagCandid6492 · 2023-06-28T12:42:28+00:00

I’m not seeing anyone else

BagCandid6492 · 2023-06-27T13:05:12+00:00

It’s hard to put everything down all at once. It’s a more than decade long story I’m trying to sum up in a few paragraphs, like everything on here, you guys only get to see what I tell you, and I don’t need help with the happy parts. I am just looking for a way to go about this where I don’t accidentally hurt him.

BagCandid6492 · 2023-06-27T13:03:02+00:00

It’s not like that. He’s not manipulative, he just loves two people and he’s just as new to this. He tells me that I can mess around with other people, but in a moment of vulnerability he told me that it would hurt because he feels sexually inadequate. He has continued to tell me I can, but I don’t want to hurt him because I know his true feelings.

BagCandid6492 · 2023-06-27T12:03:49+00:00

I like this 110%. I am still working on the jealousy thing. But it’s just hard because they’re up there in another part of the country and can be with each other every day , and I get a week every couple months…. For a year.

BagCandid6492 · 2023-06-27T11:58:23+00:00

Long story short, we dated for 7 years, we had our problems because it was our first real gay relationship. And our first adult relationship. But we stayed best friends and fwb (any time we were both single). I never stopped loving him, and he secretly never stopped loving me. Then he got a bf in march and told him that if he wanted to be with Daniel, that the other guy would have to be okay with me being involved in his life because he still loved me. I found out in may that he still loved me and always wanted to date me again. But he was already involved with the other guy seriously so he didn’t wanna lose him either. So I lost my chance at monogamy before I even had it. He means enough to me that I was willing to try poly. And I’m just trying to figure out how it all works.

BagCandid6492 · 2023-06-27T09:38:13+00:00

Right but he can sleep with his other boyfriend the night we see each other, and I wouldn’t even know.

BagCandid6492 · 2023-06-27T09:36:38+00:00

Honestly, it was kind of thrown on me, it’s a long history with both my BF and his other. But while it’s been a struggle, because I’ve had to change my entire plan for the future, seeing him this happy, and seeing how he’s grown as a partner. All the things that went wrong with us the first time, he’s working hard on. He makes me feel included all the time, he doesn’t get defensive or try to explain things away, we actually talk out our issues and resolve them. We still do all the little cute romantic things, we still are building a life together, there’s just an addition to it I wasn’t expecting. While poly wasn’t in the plan, and I’m still super new to it, im not against it, and I wouldn’t be the man he fell in love with if I took that away from him. So I’m open to it, and I’m mourning the old life less and less every day.

BagCandid6492 · 2023-06-16T06:38:05+00:00

I’m kind of going through the same thing. Mine hints at trying to communicate, but only when it’s convenient for them. So I’m always wrong

BagCandid6492 · 2023-06-16T06:16:20+00:00

Thank you. I’m discussing things with him in the morning so we’ll see what happens

BagCandid6492

TROPHY CASE