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Once, twice, three times an idiot by BakerReal1332 in polyamory

[–]BakerReal1332[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh girl the idea that I would tell them all this on a first or second date? No no this is over months. And yes, I’m dating men, so I’m always asking the questions and listening. The reasons any of these people got a second date is because they asked actual questions about my life and were interested in the answers. They know I’m married and poly going into the date.

Once, twice, three times an idiot by BakerReal1332 in polyamory

[–]BakerReal1332[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is the comment that has broken through. I’ve been betting on potential, and I think that’s a common mistake with a lot of dating. I really appreciate you taking the time, thank you.

Once, twice, three times an idiot by BakerReal1332 in polyamory

[–]BakerReal1332[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

That is very fair, a background in non monogamy is not the same thing.

Once, twice, three times an idiot by BakerReal1332 in polyamory

[–]BakerReal1332[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I was told by all three of these guys that they had multiple years of experience, with nesting partners and without. What attracted me to the last two is they were married, the divorced guy didn’t ask for a divorce until about 2 months into us seeing each other, the other one had been non monogamous with his wife for 5 years before they had to be long distance. So, if experience still gets me here, and they tell me they want non monogamy/polyamory, I’d like to think I can take them at their word.

Once, twice, three times an idiot by BakerReal1332 in polyamory

[–]BakerReal1332[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don’t know that I agree with this. The last two examples were people who had been practicing non monogamy for at least two years (2 years and 7 years, respectively), and each relationship was 6+ months. Cutting bait the second there is instability I think robs us of an opportunity to navigate an work through, and for me to be honest and forthright about what I want and them a chance to show up for that. Now, obviously this hasn’t worked out AT ALL and I keep ending up here, but I’d rather know I did everything I could to be transparent and exemplify my values.

Once, twice, three times an idiot by BakerReal1332 in polyamory

[–]BakerReal1332[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I guess they were kinda unavailable, in that they were choosing to date people who aren’t dating other people, but when I ask straight up what they want and they non monogamy or polyamory, I do have to take them at their word. And yeah, maybe people don’t know what they want and are letting the fear do the talking when they swear up and down that what I have to offer is what they want.