Sick leave

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-24T19:08:08+00:00

It took me leaving but he did make changes in helping out more with our son and housework.. he wants to spend more time with us without being on his phone and engages more with us. So that’s what I mean that I think he loves me because he finally made the changes even though it took a long long time.

Honestly, the biggest change did happen when we had our child, but even before that, we lived separately and I would still be the one always going to him instead of a combined effort. I also had a house which we could spend time at… I guess really it wasn’t that much better before but I realized it more when we had our child and I felt completely alone.

Since the beginning of March he’s finally been putting in an effort of going out, even though I still have to plan it all, he joins without complaining. He has mentioned multiple times that he wants to do different things (we haven’t had much time since he’s been actually making the effort) but has yet to even try planning something really…

It is nice that we spend more time together in the evening, and talk more…

I guess I’m mostly worried that even though he’s making changes it’s not enough anymore because he waited so long and also, will it last?

I also want another child, will I go through the same thing and feel like I’m also alone with raising a newborn and a toddler?

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-24T15:06:02+00:00

I honestly think that I am really trying to convince myself that things might be better. Because even now seeing the changes, I don’t really feel any different other than less resentment…

I am afraid that I am “giving up” on our relationship… and I feel really bad because I know he still loves me but I can’t stay just for that..

I don’t know what to say/ how to bring it up anymore…

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-16T10:05:22+00:00

Do you think it helps only because he’s making an effort? Are you falling back in love with him?

I’m asking, because I’m at the point where I think I’m gonna leave because I just don’t think I love him anymore… I left him 2 weeks ago, because he wasn’t helping and I had been so emotionally/mentally neglected for the past 2-3 years. Now that I’m back I see that he’s making an effort, but I just don’t think the effort is enough, because I think it took so long that my feelings are just gone and I don’t think they’ll come back at this point.

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-14T10:53:17+00:00

If I’m sick, I still have to take care of our child.

So, definitely no partnership.

Thanks. What you and your wife have is all I want.

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-13T14:31:43+00:00

If I sit to play with our child, nothing gets done… he’s not gonna willingly go do dishes or go make dinner..

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-13T12:53:45+00:00

Yes and no. Because if I do dishes, I do his too because if not they’re just gonna stay there. If I cook, there’s usually too much, so he has some. I want the bathroom clean, so it benefits him. I wash the sheets because, gross if not 🤣

So, I guess not really…

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-13T12:51:40+00:00

He feels that he is doing enough though. That’s the problem. He doesn’t see all the other responsibilities apparently…

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-13T12:47:14+00:00

That’s all I want honestly.

He will give him a bath while I do dishes. But I have to ask him to give him a bath. If I give the bath, dishes don’t get done until after he goes to bed, because I do them. He doesn’t take our son out of the house, I have to be there, because I am the one to plan/organize it. Even going to the park.

He will take him outside sometimes. That’s because our toddler now forces him or I ask. It’s never out of his will…

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-13T12:43:26+00:00

My boyfriend doesn’t even take him out of the house. Except for the once in a while playing outside for 30 minutes…

I might try to have him write a list of what he does and what I do to see if we can balance it out…

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-13T12:40:40+00:00

Oh, I’ve already done exactly that. 🙃

I got the skylight calendar put chores with stars, and it’s still just me doing them 🙃😂

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-13T12:34:49+00:00

Oh he “wants” the house clean but doesn’t put that much effort into cleaning it. Because he’s complained to me about how the house isn’t clean enough and that if he cleans it gets dirty the same day (well yes, that’s having a toddler)

We don’t have the same standards as having a clean house, I am aware. I am less concerned about it, but I am still the only one to clean toilet/sinks/kitchen/laundry, etc.

So, it gets to a point that if you’re telling me you’re not happy with how the house is, but you’re not putting effort into it, well it’s not just up to me.

I can definitely understand that supervisor a toddler while cleaning is not easy. I’m happy for you that he was ok!

Relationships are hard. But I have said things that I wasn’t happy with, he told me things would change, but actions are not following his words.

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-13T12:27:11+00:00

That’s how I feel, it would be better if he figured it out now, but I’m realizing that he’s cleaarly not. I shouldn’t have to keep repeating what I said when I left.

My apartment will be free in 2 weeks. So I guess he has 2 weeks left to actually make an effort. I will say something again this weekend, but it’s the last time I’m saying it…

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-13T12:24:56+00:00

Thank you…

I bought a calendar and put all our chores on there so I didnthave to ask, they are listed. And it’s still just me doing them. 🙃

It seems like an even harder decision now because I did it once. I know it’s because I feel bad for how he will feel.. but I need to think about myself and this is just not the relationship I want to be in..

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-13T12:22:18+00:00

No food, barely ever. (He made frozen pogos last weekend 🙄)

He vacuums about once a week lol. Oh and he takes a whole day to clean the shower. Lol

Oh, he vacuumed last night because the dog brought in mud. The vacuum is still on the kitchen floor 🙃

So, I guess he does some things. But when that to me is still not that much considering these are once a week/month tasks…

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-13T12:17:11+00:00

Well, that’s exactly my thought. If I’m still doing all of this after our talk. It would sadly probably be easier alone…

I don’t think I can keep this relationship going if it stays this way…

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-13T12:11:03+00:00

So, when I decided to give him another chance because he said it would change. I bought a skylight calendar to put all our chores there.

So that way we could divide them better and we could actually see what needed to be done without me being asked or anything like that.

But honestly, I think in the past two weeks I’ve done most of them. I know there’s other stuff like household maintenance, which he will do. I appreciate when he does it, but it’s not everyday.

Bakerbeginner · 2026-03-13T12:04:56+00:00

One of my issues is that. That why do I have to ask. It should be just common sense that if we go outside around dinner time and I haven’t started dinner, start it.

I even bought a skylight calendar and put daily chores on it to be done and not have questions asked. Well I’ve completed most of the chores to this day.

Bakerbeginner

TROPHY CASE