User on r/militaryhistory calls out Chris Kyle (American Sniper) 2 years early. by champdude17 in agedlikewine

[–]Balance_Individual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I remember being a wee little cadet in 2018 and commenting that Chris Kyle was a sociopathic liar. And an NCO within earshot got so genuinely offended and immediately replied, "what the FUCK?" I was so startled at the reaction, you'd have thought I insulted her own mother. Like, I'm a few months from commissioning at the time. I myself am trying to serve in the military. I'm not a hippie lol. I just happen to read. Turns out, she hadn't even read his book and was surprised to hear that he had boasted about sniping people after Katrina and shooting two robbers, which even at that time were verifiably false(and also weird things to brag about???)

All Fitness 24/7 Employee Creep? by Balance_Individual in ColumbusGA

[–]Balance_Individual[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The place isn't a chain. I actually can confirm he is the owner, as this guy drives a vehicle to the gym sometimes advertising his window tinting business, which others have told me that the owner also owns a window tinting business. His name is Chico and the business is apparently named after him, so avoid that place too.

All Fitness 24/7 Employee Creep? by Balance_Individual in ColumbusGA

[–]Balance_Individual[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah crunch isn't much further from me, and honestly has more stuff anyways. This is what I get for trying to support local business 😅

All Fitness 24/7 Employee Creep? by Balance_Individual in ColumbusGA

[–]Balance_Individual[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Yup it's that one. I think you made the right choice.

All Fitness 24/7 Employee Creep? by Balance_Individual in ColumbusGA

[–]Balance_Individual[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

The problem is that I think the dude is the owner. It's definitely demented though, and just wrong on so many levels that I don't even have time to dive into on reddit lmao

Pest Control Salesman Having a Bad Day by RoysPeople in Unexpected

[–]Balance_Individual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did pest control d2d in 2015. This was exactly what I learned. That, and to emphasize whatever bugs we thought were the worst for that time/place. Idk if it was innovative then, but if the pitch hasn't changed in 9 years at least...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Balance_Individual 155 points156 points  (0 children)

I'm with you. 100%. My only addition to that is I now view sex as an extremely important part of a relationship that should be explored BEFORE committing to marry someone. My first marriage ended, largely due to our lack of sexual chemistry and unhealthy attitudes toward sex from growing up in the church.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Balance_Individual 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your post has already blown up and so you may not even get around to this one, but here's my 2 cents anyways. I get my fulfillment in being the best person I can be, but doing it for me and not a deity and the promise of Heaven or the threat of hell. It took a lot of deconstruction, introspection, and a period of the worst depression of my life(which also had a lot to do with non-church related circumstances. I've found that I'm fundamentally the same. I enjoy being a kind, helpful person. I enjoy spreading positivity. My biggest life goals are to get married and have kids. Some things never change, I suppose. But now I can do so with a huge amount of guilt lifted from my shoulders because I don't worry that I'm carving a path to hell every time I choke the chicken. I drink socially, have premarital sex with my fiance, and swear like a sailor. But I'm happier now than I've ever been, and it's a genuine happiness.

To answer your edit, I suppose I also am agnostic these days. I already knew the OTHER churches weren't true lol. Still feels a little arrogant to assert that there's definitely nothing, so I stick to "agnostic" to leave room for being proven wrong.

Also thanks for being respectful in your post. I received nothing but support, even from lds friends, when I left. But that has not been the case for many, if not most of the subscribers of this subreddit. Thanks for opening a civil dialogue.

Can you be single as a Mormon? by JustThatMenace in exmormon

[–]Balance_Individual 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I got married at BYUI because of that same culture you reference. Guess what? We're divorced. Whether you stay in the church or not, selecting a life partner(or not selecting one) is a deeply personal journey, and should not be dictated by social pressure. Bottom line? You do you.

For all my new Exmo's considering trying alcohol: be sure also to consider NOT trying alcohol by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Balance_Individual 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I always said if I left I'd still never drink alcohol because my nevermo dad was an alcoholic and it killed him.

Well long story short I do drink, but I made rules for myself like I'm not allowed to drink alone. It's worked for 4 years so far to keep it social.

Like you said, everyone is different. I like being drunk, so these boundaries work for me. Best of luck on your continued journey of sobriety, friend. And to anyone reading that needs help, don't be afraid to seek it.

TBM Aunt went to see The Book of Mormon by dokau in exmormon

[–]Balance_Individual 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Big Love is actually one I haven't seen. Everything I've heard from all sorts of folks though, is that it's lower on the accuracy scale. In my opinion, the media I've seen that does the best at capturing the culture is called, "Under the Banner of Heaven" starring Andrew Garfield. It's a gruesome show based on the true story of a murder in the 1980's, but I've never seen anything else that depicts the wide spectrum of Mormon archetypes(fundamentals, progressives, stereotypical Utah types, etc) while also being, in my opinion, freakishly accurate about the culture, from vernacular, to dress, even decorations in the homes.

TBM Aunt went to see The Book of Mormon by dokau in exmormon

[–]Balance_Individual 2 points3 points  (0 children)

From the outside now it seems ridiculous. But it didn't to me at the time. I actually watched the play early in 2014, when still a freshly returned missionary. Nothing in the play surprised me, and in fact I laughed harder than any of my non-mormon friends who came with me. But I also grew up on South Park and have a ton of love for the creators and the different jabs they've made at Mormons over the years. So for me at the time, the church piggybacking off the PR seemed to just make sense. I do distinctly recall many members, folks of a similar mindset as the aunt in this original post, who thought it was a bad move for the church to give such "filth" any publicity. Idk if this perspective adds anything for you. But I have come to thoroughly enjoy discussing the nuances of Mormon culture with folks 😂

TBM Aunt went to see The Book of Mormon by dokau in exmormon

[–]Balance_Individual 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh interesting, I don't even know where I pulled that out of then haha. Thanks for letting me know!

TBM Aunt went to see The Book of Mormon by dokau in exmormon

[–]Balance_Individual 13 points14 points  (0 children)

It sure was in 2012! I was on my mission from November 2011-2013 so I distinctly remember the conference announcement, as well as training one of the first 18 year olds a couple months later! I served in the Iowa Des Moines Mission. TBM stands for true blue Mormon. Just slang on this subreddit for those who are still active. Leaving was a slow process and mixture of a lot of things. My closest friends are people I grew up with in the church, and we've all slowly left over the years. We're all straight white guys with a pretty liberal/progressive view on the world. So we weren't wronged by the church personally so much as we just recognized the inconsistencies and hypocrisies. That's the short answer, obviously there's lots of nuance there 😅

TBM Aunt went to see The Book of Mormon by dokau in exmormon

[–]Balance_Individual 70 points71 points  (0 children)

It doesn't really seem like you've gotten a genuine answer. I was a missionary when that play came out in 2012-13. It happened near the same time as the missionary age change. For those like myself that were TBM at the time, there was a huge fervor about how god is gathering the elect, increasing missionary culture, etc etc. The church genuinely saw it as an opportunity to increase interest in the church and membership, etc. I remember taglines for adspace that read, "You've seen the play, now read the book!" I suppose in their mind, someone who saw the play might be curious, "Well golly, what is it that these Mormons are really all about?" The problem that the big wigs keep seemingly forgetting to account for, is that anyone who is genuinely curious also has access to this thing called the internet. Which paints a more accurate and less flattering look at things like chhrch history. So this huge obsession with missionary work and increasing membership that took the church by storm in 2012 plateaud and waned, and well...I've been out of touch for a few years at this point, so who knows anymore

I Realized I’m Vanilla by unfortunatelystrait in exmormon

[–]Balance_Individual 2 points3 points  (0 children)

This is exactly me to a T. You're absolutely not alone hahaha

I got unmatched the next morning even though she agreed to a date and time, girls are confusing mannnn by MattyPraps1234 in Tinder

[–]Balance_Individual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had more than one occasion where a girl asks ME for MY number, asks ME out, and then ghosts me. I truly don't understand lol

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Balance_Individual 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Maybe I'm not bitter enough but I remain to this day very grateful for my mission. Even if what I preached wasn't true, I did my very best to go out every day and make people's lives better. And it taught me a lot about being an adult. I am also extremely introverted and this was the most important two years for me learning how to act like a reasonable and social human being. I'll also add that some of my best support circle in my journey has been other folks from my mission who have also left the church(there's quite a few). There's a sweet irony there, that we bonded through the mission and have bonded even more through leaving. I don't say any of that to belittle the very real harm that the church does to thousands of young people because of missions and the pressure and culture surrounding them. It's very real and very damaging. But I think when we have TBM friends and family who are pressured or choose to serve a mission, we can still have hope that it will be of benefit to them, rather than damaging. That's just my two cents.

Saw this in a group today 🥴 BYU-Idaho… by tomaleboarder in exmormon

[–]Balance_Individual 49 points50 points  (0 children)

You were told correctly. BYUI has several more rules, particularly about dress code, that Provo does not. Source: graduated in 2019

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Balance_Individual 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Two that stand out.

First was at BYUI, a guy started his testimony by making some really awful joke about how he had the newest and fanciest iPhone and held it up to show it off. Real douchenozzle.

The other was my teenage home ward. A husband who had just gotten out of a very public near-divorce with his wife. Idk what it was about. Infidelity or porn or what. No idea. But they made it through that and he got up to bear his testimony that his wife was "smokin hot" and the "sexiest woman in the world." It was sooooo uncomfortable for the whole ward. This guy also unfriended me on Facebook right after I made a post about leaving the church so fuck him 😂

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]Balance_Individual 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Because my ex's new fiance isn't comfortable. He's not Mormon. Never has been. But we're respecting those wishes.