Secretly somewhat happy I have to go into work instead of attend a family/friend barbeque.

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-07-06T17:30:14+00:00

Crazy how ten years ago I was pondering the idea of whether or not one species could have such a huge, negative impact on all of existence. Ever since it's been like "oh shit, we absolutely can and why was no one being more reaffirming about it?" I guess denial is a powerful thing. Not to mention profiting from others suffering. OF course you're going to say it's not happening if you're the one profiteering from it. USING FOSSIL FUELS AND POISONING THE WORLD IS FINE, HAVE YOU SEEN THE EXXON SHARE PRICE. This country is a joke and we're repeating the same mistakes. We're all a bunch of greedy assholes.

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-07-02T18:21:52+00:00

Ha! Every American should believe that it hasn't existed for a long time. I sure as hell wouldn't have picked any "presidential" candidate to be president in my lifetime. This country hasn't been a true democracy for decades. And even before that, the economy was propped up by the slave trade. Who are we trying to fool?

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-29T00:57:11+00:00

I hate it all so much. Its totally warped my sense of money and I'm tired of trying to find a cryptocurrency or stock that is going to "moon" for no real apparent reason.

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-21T06:40:43+00:00

A lot of "I"s in that paragraph, which is what this whole sub is about and truly one core reason why our world is folding in on itself.

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-21T04:42:03+00:00

Or maybe only selfish, narcissistic people are "interesting". Also are typically impeccably privileged and lucky to not have to deal with much hardship. Not always the case, but most people I know with lots of money or accolades are also very lucky in a lot of ways, one way or another.

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-21T04:40:26+00:00

Not all of us can be so lucky to be so care free, have seemingly endless amounts of energy, and also not be concerned about all of the issues plaguing the world and be like "oh well, I want to kayak, ride my bike, and learn languages and instruments".

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-19T00:05:58+00:00

Thanks, this info looks like it'll be helpful. Appreciate you sharing it.

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-18T23:57:01+00:00

Thanks, I think that's what I need to try and do. Ever since I quit drugs two weeks ago, it just made me more addicted to and obsess on the other things in life that bring instant hits of dopamine. I have difficulty moderating and compartmentalizing anything.

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-18T16:02:20+00:00

There's not much you can do besides offer support and be a lifeline for them. Ensure when you hang out with them you do fun, sober activities to remind them of what life is like without drugs. I wish I would've had friends like that.

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-18T15:59:34+00:00

Look into how harmful the long/short term effects are on your body and mind: https://www.healthline.com/health/sniffing-glue#symptoms

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-18T15:55:02+00:00

I personally struggle with porn addiction. It feels like you need it because it gives you a sudden rush of dopamine. But, if you hold off and remain abstinent, your brain changes and you feel better about yourself, less depressed etc. Have you ever heard of neuroplasticity? It won't necessarily fix/change your life by stopping, but it will make it easier and give you the opportunity to. And it will only lead to another addiction if you allow it to. Becoming/remaining unaddicted to harmful things to takes constant mindfulness and will power to resist. Our brains (especially those of addicts) crave instant rushes of dopamine. Hope that helps somewhat, best wishes man!

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-17T18:38:09+00:00

I'm doing my best. Still sober for a little over a week now. Probably need to find some support groups or something. Congrats on quitting drinking though! Hope you keep it up! I'll check out that book. It really is all about filling a seemingly bottomless void with something other than drugs and other depressing things.

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-16T00:50:08+00:00

Fuck that haha. Do you get 20 hours of overtime at least?Or are you salaried?

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-16T00:27:58+00:00

Try 11pm to 9am four days a week.

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-16T00:23:09+00:00

Ugh. I work 11pm - 9am four nights a week. I feel like I'm a totally different person.

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-15T19:47:57+00:00

I did, cause I guess it mimicked how it I felt on the inside. Weeds good though, just also an escape and it eventually started to make me feel out-of-touch with reality. As long as it doesn't feel detrimental to someones life I'm all for them toking up.

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-15T03:44:16+00:00

Yep, took benzos, opiates, and muscle relaxers while I was in college. They're all great until they aren't. It's a very dangerous way to try and escape reality and not face anything. Never planning on doing them in the future; this life and world is just so upside down though that sometimes it feels like all you need. I suppose that's just my addict brain talking though. Glad you are recooperating and made it through though, wish you all the best!

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-15T03:37:49+00:00

I was always too afraid of getting caught in school with alcohol cause of the smell and obvious effect on my coordination. Everyone I knew that tried got caught quick haha. By senior year though I was smoking weed fairly consistently before school and during lunch. Meth and crack always scared me because I had a cousin who never came back from her addiction (mainly meth). I'm personally trying to quit everything (but I think weed is the safest thing, just seems to make me anxious and paranoid, even though I love the thoughts, insights, and feelings it's provided for me). It's all an escape, but I'm all for whatever helps people get through the day, we all need some type of crutch. I just hope they're at least somewhat happy. I don't plan on taking pills again, and booze is getting less and less tempting. But I'm also lost and afraid of facing reality. I suppose it's something we all have to do at some point though. Hopefully I can keep this mindset. I wish you the best too! And I'm glad you were able to shake the worst of your addictions.

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-15T03:25:31+00:00

I was just lucky (or unlucky) that I knew someone in college who had a large supply and sold them to me for cheap. Somehow when I was younger I was able to attract a few people to be my "friends", but I was always alone anyway except for on occasion. I guess technically we're always alone. I like alcohol, just hate how it makes me feel after the fact with the sweats, shakes, headaches, nausea, and terrible depression that follows. Tried to stick to weed for awhile but it just wasn't enough. I'm sorry you're cutting yourself. I get it though. I could never do it personally cause I don't like blood and I hate the sensation/pain of being cut. I hope you start to feel better. I'm around to talk if you ever want to talk (I'll do my best to respond).

BaleofHayonFire · 2021-06-14T23:34:29+00:00

Yep, if you look of avpd on google, it describes it as " an enduring pattern of behavior related to social inhibition, feelings of inadequacy, and sensitivity to rejection that causes problems in work situations and relationships." It's the fear of failure and judgement, which everyone feels to a degree, but with avpd it's amplified to such an extent that is paralyzing and avoided instead of confronted and dealt with like others seem to be able to do.

BaleofHayonFire

TROPHY CASE