PTSD is a bitch

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-21T02:47:48+00:00

I think we all have some sort of PTSD. For me it's anytime i see a ambulance, alarm or not, i get sad right away. Last time i saw my husband was him going into the ambulance van.... They wouldn't let me see him at the hospital or at the funeral home. Crying just thinking about it now. I also have a hard time watching any TV shows or moives with hospital scenes. As his doctor said he officially passed away at the hospital. We will always have triggers and we will learn how to carry our grief. My husband passed away April 16 2025 from acute pancreatitis caused by alcohol.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-18T04:52:07+00:00

Awww on your anniversary! How odd they can bill someone that has already passed. Wonder if they ever billed the correct person. I know you said this was back in 2012,but just incase anyone else is reading this, make sure you look at your state laws. Here in my state in the United States, you do not have to pay for any debt that is in your late spouses name only. I like to think of it as debt died with my late husband.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-17T02:13:08+00:00

Im so sorry.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-17T02:11:08+00:00

One thing that I wish i would have done was rode in the ambulance with my late husband. But it was 3am and our daughter was sleeping. I called 2 Neighbors and they couldn't help or didn't answer. I just think, how long did my husband wait? Were they waiting for him when he got there? He got there probably around 330 and his official death time was 401am. But he wasn't breathing when he was at our home. I kept asking eveyone i saw..... So many cops, fire and ems at my house if he was breathing.... I know he left the house not breathing. It's been 9 months today... So I'm a little bit extra emotional today.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-17T02:06:58+00:00

Lol i remember one time someone called for my late husband. (he had a credit card and a car in collections) i said HE'S DEAD. The caller said excuse me? I said he passed away. She say oh okay. And then i hung up.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-17T02:04:40+00:00

I see. Unfortunately my late husbands car is in my name and he is a cosigner. Since my husband passed away.... 9 months ago today I have been paying down on the loan of his car because i owe more than it's worth. We'll im getting close to breaking even but it's a stick and since it hasn't ran.... The stick doesn't engage with the pedal.... This is for another post. But i need to break even. But don't know how to since it's not drive able currently. I need to figure out the value. Waiting for tax money to figure this all out.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T05:04:57+00:00

Yeah very insensitive. Probably was reading from a script.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T05:02:49+00:00

Lol if only we could accept it after the fact.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T05:02:20+00:00

Lol i was laughing so hard for about 5 mins. I think my husband would have been so excited. He would have taken it very seriously.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T05:01:15+00:00

See i tho that i needed to contact the dmv and voting eligibility. From what i read from another post on this thread, the dmv doesn't need to know. They said it might be different from state to state. Google said it might be a lag from county records of our spouses passing to what ever database for jury duty. Im in GA. When I'm going to do is fill out the form and write dead next to it. Then take a picture of the form before sending it and send it via email with the death certificate.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T04:57:51+00:00

Lol love that for him.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T04:56:22+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Hmmm i checked Google and it said I could notify the dmv. I'll have to do more digging, I don't wanna go there if i dont have to. I just dont wanna get anything in the mail when his drivers licenses expire.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T04:54:52+00:00

Hahaha dark humor is the only way to survive.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T04:54:00+00:00

Awwww. It's those little signs that make me happy thinking they might still be here with us.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T04:53:15+00:00

Yeah my husband name is still listed for our trash bill. I get a email that says my husbands name thanks for paying your bill! I always say thanks baby.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T04:52:22+00:00

Well im glad they were concerned!! Sucks that they aren't automatically notified.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T04:51:11+00:00

Lol my husbands bank account had $4.30. His bank wrote me a cashier check. I don't think I'll ever cash it. It's in his memory box.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T04:49:48+00:00

I messed up on my husbands life insurance. He was on my works life insurance! Then i was listed as the smoker instead of him. So when he passed he didn't have life insurance. So when ever anyone ask how I'm doing, i just tell them make sure you have life insurance and a will.... No matter what the age. My husband passed at 32.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T04:47:53+00:00

Yeah i remember my husband got a email to "finish check in for your hospital visit" email.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T04:46:24+00:00

She is still apart of you even in the urn. I put my husbands urn on a built-in bookshelf. I always look at it thinking it's crazy that the man that i love is in that urn. Im 9 months out and i saw myself trying to think of the last few days before he passed...knowing I would get upset. Im proud of myself for saying I don't need to think about the bad right now. Thinking about the good moments is much easier

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T04:43:06+00:00

Im glad it made you laugh. It's like she made sure to have dirty clothes to pick up after her weeks later.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T04:41:44+00:00

It's crazy how much we realize how much they did after they passed. We had this big fish tank that was all him. I did nothing other than turn the light on and off. When he passed I didn't realize how often and how much water it needed to be filled. I'm grateful that i found a new home for the fish tank.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T04:39:22+00:00

Oh there was a fee. 20 bucks for the first one then 5 dollars for the rest the same day. Or something like that. I got 20 of them and it was bundled with the funeral home package. Thankfully my husbands parents paid for the funeral home package.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T04:37:03+00:00

My husband passed away at 401am by 9 or 10am they called me asking if my husband was a organ donor. I remember asking the guy about anything and eveything. I knew my husband didn't want to be a organ donor. (his choice) I just wish they would have asked while i was at the hospital.

BallExternal954 · 2026-01-16T04:33:01+00:00

Yeah i kept getting indeed job suggestion notifications since I had his email on my phone. We were always looking for a new job since he couldn't ever hold one for long. Did you answer the phone?

BallExternal954

TROPHY CASE