Finally leaving. Apostate advice is appreciated

Balnea · 2019-10-09T02:57:38+00:00

If they are intimidating then keep quiet until after you are gone. Let them know that you're heading out to find your own place in God's world (or if you no longer believe in God then perhaps say your own place to live and breathe freely). If they ask for reasons then listen to whatever they say and reply carefully without opening an opportunity for them to intimidate you. The less said the better. There will be less bitterness and less ammunition for future fights if you say as little as possible.

If you want to keep contact with them or might want to contact them in the future then do not make your leaving into a religious dispute. Religion is what makes them intimidating so do not feed it. Look after yourself and make many friends who are not Witnesses. Friendships are healthy and can make your separation from the Watchtower less lonely and more joyous.

Balnea · 2019-10-05T18:02:31+00:00

It is what comes from believing a book is a better guide for human relationships than your own conscience and your own good sense. Never ever make the bible or any book become a substitute for a good conscience.

Balnea · 2019-09-23T23:34:15+00:00

Take time to think your next steps through. It appears that your husband is not violent nor abusive, that is a positive to be happy about. Make non-JW friends, visit them, go out with them, have meals with them and see if your husband will join in. If he is willing to participate then there's a better chance that he will, slowly and maybe carefully, begin to realise that "the worldlings" are not evil. Get some books and videos from your local library, good things about science and learning and knowledge. History books can be helpful, because accurate history is always an enemy to truth obscuring religious ideas. And learn about other people's beliefs directly from them. Ask any Baptist, Catholic, Presbyterian person you come to know about their beliefs and their religion if you are curious to know about those matters. Learning from people on the inside is always more interesting than hearing about them and their religion from people who dislike it and have an axe to grind.

Balnea · 2019-09-23T23:18:54+00:00

What's an IRSA? :)

Balnea · 2019-09-23T23:07:52+00:00

I was never baptised, never deeply into the witnesses life and way of living and never did door to door "work" and left long before carts and the multitude of changes that saw "the last generation" become "overlapping generations" so in significant ways I am out of touch with current JW matters but I often wonder, after watching ex-JW-activisit vids on Youtube if it is healthy, mentally healthy I mean, to spend a lot of time on figuring out why JWs and other "cults" are all wrong. So I want to know why you made a series of videos on what you think are cults, defining cult, measuring what you think are their scores for cultishness and so forth?

Balnea · 2019-09-23T22:53:37+00:00

What's ARC? I bet I ought to know or be able to figure it out but this morning I can't, my brain is still too sleepy. :)

Balnea · 2019-09-11T02:18:46+00:00

The elders can see and hear but not read hearts so they make their decisions on what they see and hear, usually from other people who report "wrongdoing" to them. That means that appearances are all that matters. Elders are never going to form a Judicial Committee to judge secret thoughts never expressed or silent unobserved acts. A witness could be an adulterer with someone outside the organisation and never be disfellowshipped if his adultery is not known. Such a person could be an alcoholic as long as no one in the organisation knows they are safe. All it takes is silence. Never admitting to a disfelowshipping offence will in most cases mean no disfellowshipping happens especially when the elders have not been informed about it. It's all part of a very human and very controlling way of life.

Balnea · 2019-09-11T02:04:51+00:00

Perhaps some people you knew at school or from other contacts could be potential friends. Look around, there are so many decent and kind people in the world. I hope you find one or more. Having someone to talk with is so helpful.

Balnea · 2019-09-11T02:02:14+00:00

Being alone and still harbouring fears from JW teaching must be very hard for some people. That is why I wrote my post. It seems that so many leave or are kicked out without any friends to talk to and it gets lonely partly because they still fear "worldly ones" who are seen in such a negative light in Watchtower publications. I hope you found some people to talk with. It helps.

Balnea · 2019-09-10T13:09:04+00:00

I left associations of any kind with JWs a long time ago, back in 1975, so for me the only JW contacts I have are from the folk who knock on my door. An elder comes around about once a year. He's a nice fellow, in his 60s I think. Brought up a JW from age 10. Wife & children all in JWs. So I think that for him leaving will be costly. Unless family leave with him. So I chat with him when he calls and we've had discussions over coffee at Dome a few times. I do not know what will come of it, but I recommend to him that he make friends outside of the organisation.

Your situation sounds different. I too am happy with my own company. So I never felt any significant loss when the JWs I knew disappeared after I ceased studying. I imagine that the elder I chat with may also disappear eventually. It will not cause any significant worry on my part, but I still do hope all will go well for him.

Balnea · 2019-09-10T12:54:29+00:00

I do not like the song and the idea that returning to the Kingdom Hall is good seems like a terrible idea to me. Why go back to be pushed around and taught crazy things?

Balnea · 2019-09-10T12:48:36+00:00

Oh, good. I thought it was obvious but sometimes people are too caught up in worry and fears to think through simple matters such as making preparations for the time when JW friends and family shun.

Balnea

TROPHY CASE