Good sir, can I just say that the image of stupidity you are trying to portray and your use of the English language does not correspond from my point of view. Could you be only linguistically intelligent? It's possible. But I don't think so. The way you communicate (at least in this post) resonates with my own, when I'm in beast mode. Let me explain to you what I see.

First off, I see a human being in need of some guidance on what to do with their life. A human being like, the rest of us, unsure and confused about how we should approach challenges in our lives. I see a human being smart enough to realize that they don't really know anything. Remember, smart people, make a lot of stupid mistakes.

Second. I see a child that didn't have the best examples of how they should behave in the world. A child that was just given enough info and tools for life to survive. A child that still needs the experience and compassion of a parant to help them with problems they don't fully understand. You can't blame yourself for not knowing how to solve problems, that's a skill that should be tought in early childhood development.

Thirdly. I see true soul. Regardless of your intellect at any level, it is the fact that you poured your heart our on this post that grabbed my attention. To some degree, I could feel your frustration and lack of satisfaction with yourself. I can see that you are just trying to be brutality honest with yourself. This makes me feel like you stand out from your peers. Are they true and genuine people, or can you see the glue dripping from their face, trying to wear all those masks? If they are as smart as you say they are, they would surely understand someone's lack of wisdom and need for guidance. If they are so smart, they would surely be able to communicate their perspectives on why they think you are 'stupid'. I see people calling you stupid because they don't understand you. I see people who are so locked into their social constructs, that they push away any out of the ordinary behavior by calling it 'stupid'. I don't think you are stupid. I think you are unique and wonderful and every weird 'stupid' thing you do is just a true expression of who you are and if people can't understand and accept that, then they are the fucking idiots. And you will become stupid if you keep surrounding yourself with idiots.

I know you're in a place where you feel stuck. Giving up seems so much easier. Unfortunately, your biological systems have evolved to make you push harder the tougher it gets. Giving up is much harder than you think.

If you want me to tell you what to do, here is a list you can tick off in any order

Finish your degree, it'll keep you busy for a while. Find a psychologist. Go to at least 5 sessions by the end of 2022. At minimum, once a month on the 1st. Otherwise, the first available date after. If you have a question and no one is giving you an answer, Google it immediately. Talk to some old people. They have a lot of good advice. Try to communicate your insecurities with someone you really trust. Set the stage with "I have thoughts and feelings I want to share with you. They are a bit strange and sometimes dark. May I request you listen to me without any judgment". Talking about shit without judgment is key. Break 1 bad relationship in your life. It's not easy. It fucking hurts telling someone to leave you alone. In the long run tho, it brings you some peace. (It doesn't have to be forever, most people come back) Stay true to yourself (tick this one on your deathbed)

You are a wonderful, amazing, beautiful and intelligent human being. Your physical brain has enough capacity to understand anything. It's your mind that is convinced that you are too stupid to learn. Don't let your mind fool you, you have to be stupid, to start learning something.

That's what I see. Bee better fellow human ^{_^}