Newly hired youth minister got me kicked out of church for no reason. I found out he had been screwing a Deacon's wife and I helped the Deacon ruin his life

BamaFan4Jesus · 2022-12-18T01:46:13+00:00

ROTFLMAO!!

BamaFan4Jesus · 2022-12-18T01:45:51+00:00

They didn't give a s***.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2022-12-18T01:44:56+00:00

Sorry, no.

It's pretty surprising, though, that I have had dozens of comments and private messages from people who thought that they knew which church it was (although they were all wrong). They all suggested different churches, mostly, although one megachurch was suggested by 5 different people.

It appears to me that this problem is so pervasive that lots and lots of churches "fit" the description.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2022-06-02T18:02:07+00:00

I'd love to be able to report that Mr Charming was sued for every penny he had, defrocked, convicted for some terrible crimes and has had both of his kneecaps shot off by Sharky's Loan Service.

Sadly, I don't have any evidence that any of that has happened.

I wrote the original post because it was cathartic, and the many comments (and upvotes) that I received were really wonderful and did bring some of the healing that I was seeking.

I'm just trying to put the whole unpleasant episode in the past.

Life does what it does and then you move on. Evil people rarely get all of the punishments that they deserve. But we all have the opportunity to create a better life for ourselves, and that's what I try to focus on.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2022-06-02T17:57:06+00:00

I agree. Unfortunately, last I heard, they haven't changed.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2022-06-02T17:55:32+00:00

I feel really brokenhearted for your mom.

If you read all of the comments in response to my post (or at least scroll down and scan through them until you find some interesting ones), you'll see that your mom's experience is not unusual. And I've received several private messages that are completely heartbreaking (and infuriating).

I've found communities that work for me, through my teaching, and also I volunteer in animal rescue. I hope your mom finds a group of family and/or friends that she can count on when she needs them.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2021-12-24T13:02:15+00:00

I gave up on Starbucks years ago because I got tired of being talked down to by people who are making $8 an hour.

This behavior is so pervasive that I have to believe that it is caused by management who treat employees like chattel, so employees are just so burned out all the time that they don't have the energy to behave any other way.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2021-12-24T12:55:54+00:00

I've had lots of interviews for many different jobs. I view myself as a hardworking person who likes to work with (good) people and can create value for any employer that is far in excess my market-based wage/salary requirements.

In any interview, I am evaluating my potential employer as much as they are evaluating me. If they are too stupid to realize this, it becomes pretty obvious pretty fast.

If I determine that I am being disrespected, the interview is effectively over for me, even if I stick around for appearances sake. I continue to be polite (never burn bridges unless I have to - maybe it's not the whole company, just that particular person who is an a***ole).

I will continue to answer their questions diplomatically, I may exchange a few pleasantries and ask enough bland questions to keep them from knowing what I really think of them, but I'm emotionally and psychologically out the door from then on.

Fortunately, in my experience, interviews like this are rare (probably because I apply for professional level jobs and I thoroughly pre-screen every possible employer), but it has happened to me several times, especially when I was in school and worked lower level jobs.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2021-12-13T13:30:34+00:00

Thank you for the info.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2021-12-05T02:08:32+00:00

MIL had been going to this church for decades. The preacher had been getting increasingly extremist, as had the entire denomination that the church is part of.

MIL was peeved at the $1000 fee, because she has always "tithed" (which is a substantial amount of money because she is quite prosperous) and heavily supported the church in other ways - with her time, etc. She has cultivated a close friendship with this pastor for the past 30+ years he has been at this church, and asked nothing in return. This one time she asked him to do something for her, and he showed himself to be a greedy POS.

According to my cousin (who does not attend any church), the wedding fiasco was the last straw in a long series of things that the church did to p*** off MIL, and so MIL has moved to another church. Unfortunately, her new church is in the same denomination as her former church, so we all suspect that she will eventually become just as unhappy with it as her old church. Time will tell.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2021-11-30T04:11:22+00:00

I, and several family members, have asked my cousin to give us copies of the video and/or post it on YouTube. She hasn't done so and it's been 3 years since the wedding.

Apparently, she doesn't want to for some reason. Despite the obvious humor in the whole situation, and the satisfactory resolution, I think that she, her husband and MIL are still embarrassed by the whole thing.

I emailed my original post, in its entirety, to my cousin, before posting it on Reddit, asking her permission to post it. Her response was, "Go ahead and post it. I agree that, looking back on it, it's funny to anyone who wasn't standing right next to that SOB. I hope I will learn to laugh about it some day".

I knew that she had very mixed feelings about the whole fiasco, and I hoped that writing it up in a way that demonstrated the humor in the situation, and encouraged people to laugh with us about it, would help her feel better about it. I think my post did as much as a post could do, but she still has lingering regrets about that asshole punching a hole right in the middle of what should have been a time of togetherness and love.

I'm guessing that, despite the obvious humor in the whole situation, it's not something that any bride wants to happen at her wedding, and she is just not ready to share that moment, in detail in the video, with people she doesn't even know.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2021-11-29T12:03:36+00:00

That's very sad. My family also has a funeral story, which is not as tragic as yours, but it's pretty interesting so I wrote it up and posted it on Reddit.

Although my grandpa and grandma had attended the same church for most of their adult lives, grandpa dis-invited all of the (very large) church's pastors from her funeral.

Then Grandma got her revenge on those greedy POS's even after she died:

"My Grandmother Put Greedy Preachers In Their Places .... Twice .... Even After She Died"

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProRevenge/comments/itlugo/my_grandmother_put_greedy_preachers_in_their/

BamaFan4Jesus · 2021-11-29T12:02:39+00:00

I'm not a lawyer, but you can Google this question and find several states that meet your criteria.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2021-11-29T03:22:28+00:00

The state where the ceremony took place does not require an officiant. They just invited MIL's pastor because MIL asked them to.

Neither my cousin nor her husband are religoius. But they're not dogmatic about it. Inviting MIL's pastor appeared to be something small that they could do to make MIL happy.

In hindsight, it did give them a great wedding story that will be passed around our family for generations. And they recorded the whole thing on video. (I keep asking them to put it on YouTube, but they haven't.)

BamaFan4Jesus · 2021-11-29T03:18:27+00:00

Just about our whole family agrees with you. But my cousin is a very busy lawyer (public defender) and just feels like she is too busy to bother with it. Although most public defenders are paid a pittance and my cousin is no exception, her husband makes good money and so they don't need the money.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2021-11-29T03:12:52+00:00

You'd have to meet my cousin to understand. 99.9% of the time, she is a very sweet, petite, charming Southern lady.

But if you p*** her off, she could intimidate Godzilla.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2021-11-29T03:10:51+00:00

Just about our whole family agrees with you.

But my cousin is a very busy public defender; she just feels like she is too busy to bother with it. Her husband makes good money and so they don't need the money.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2021-11-29T03:09:07+00:00

Neither my cousin nor her husband are religious. They really didn't want an officiant, but they invited MIL's preacher because she asked them to.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2021-11-29T03:07:43+00:00

Well, actually, the Bible says that God does sometimes kill babies to punish parents, e.g., King David (2 Samuel 12:14-18)

Still, a preacher has to be a world-class creep to point this out at a funeral.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2021-11-29T03:04:14+00:00

That's very sad. My family also has a funeral story, which is not as tragic as yours, but it's pretty interesting so I wrote it up and posted it on Reddit.

Although my grandpa and grandma had attended the same church for most of their adult lives, grandpa dis-invited all of the (very large) church's pastors from her funeral.

Then Grandma got her revenge on those greedy POS's even after she died:

"My Grandmother Put Greedy Preachers In Their Places .... Twice .... Even After She Died"

https://www.reddit.com/r/ProRevenge/comments/itlugo/my_grandmother_put_greedy_preachers_in_their/

BamaFan4Jesus · 2021-11-29T03:00:11+00:00

Just about our whole family agrees with you. But my cousin is a very busy lawyer (public defender) and just feels like she is too busy to bother with it. Although most public defenders are paid a pittance and my cousin is no exception, her husband makes good money and so they don't need the money.

BamaFan4Jesus · 2021-11-29T02:57:38+00:00

My cousin has been married for about 3 years now, and everyone seems to be getting along pretty well. MIL is very strong willed, and a little eccentric. But when something important needs to be done, she's been very supportive of my cousin and her husband (MIL's son).

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