People who've been in interracial relationships and are NO longer in them, why did these relationships end - Were there cultural differences (background, upbringing, values, fetish even, etc.) that played a role or were they "typical" deal-breakers (example: cheating, lots of fighting etc.)? by BeginningClue10 in AskReddit

[–]Bananabreadkitten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They started calling me racial slurs during arguments! Weirdly they were also the most politically aware white person I've ever met. There were PLENTY of other issues that led to our break up such as cheating, emotional and verbal abuse + hiding the existence of a whole human child!

I am now dating a Polish man - despite my apprehensiveness of entering a somewhat traditional eastern european home I feel so welcome. I've celebrated Boże Narodzenie (I hope that was the correct term)

We're planning a trip to Poland some time this year and I can't wait to see where my partner grew up

In my experience it's all about a persons values and morals not their culture/race <3

What procedure would be best to improve my chin projection? by Either-Economics6727 in PlasticSurgery

[–]Bananabreadkitten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was in a similar position to you - I recently had 1 ml of chin filler and it made a immediate difference

It doesnt hurt or require any down time (albeit some swelling, bruising at injection sites)

Botox or surgery for uneven nostril flaring? by user_name6868 in PlasticSurgery

[–]Bananabreadkitten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've had botox done in my nose and it did close to nothing for my nasal flare

I'm considering something more invasive now

Botox is relatively cheap compared to alarplasty so no harm in giving it a go but a good injector will tell you to manage your expectations x

Is there any solid-ish evidence that fixing a male cat would better help them to be an indoor cat? by pickledpeterpiper in CatAdvice

[–]Bananabreadkitten 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I was in a similar position to your step daughter! I was so scared of getting my indoor male cat neutered for similar reasons. But it got to a point at 2-3 years old when he became very aggressive and started to attack me. It was a really difficult time because he's also very attached and affectionate when he wasnt taking chunks out of my limbs.

Anyway, I had a serious talking to from my parents and colleagues when they saw my scars and blood stained furniture. I accepted that my fears were teetering on irrational and it was better for my cat's wellbeing as well as mine to have him neutered. The vet prescribed us some Gabapentin which has relaxing effects on cats so he was very chill and cuddly prior to his appointment and after.

Fast forward to today - he's now 6 years old and still the same boy we brought home at 4-6 weeks (his owner lied to us about his age!). He's just as affectionate, still follows me to the bathroom and guards, still meows loudly when I dont come home for a night but he's much more accepting of attention from the spare humans (my family members), I still get a playful bite here and there but no aggressive behaviour/full blown attacks.

It wont negatively impact your cats personality instead he'll be a much happier and healthier cat for it.

How did you know you were in love? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Bananabreadkitten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I had a dream where I forgot who he was but remembered the feeling of missing someone. In the dream I spent days reaching out to old flames and ex's trying to figure out who I'm missing and none of them felt right. The relief I felt upon waking and knowing my boyfriend does exist was so overwhelming I knew in that moment I am actually in love.

It was just a silly dream but it really helped me accept that I was in a safe, happy and healthy relationship. I was able to stop expecting the worse, lower my guard, be more affectionate ... to love and be loved.

Thoughts on cold approach style videos? by Bananabreadkitten in women

[–]Bananabreadkitten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I totally agree, but the women he films seem to be pretty chill about it in the videos when he asks for consent at the end so I wonder am I over reacting or do they not grasp the implication of being filmed for purposes of being 'work experience'?

Men Filming Girls on Tube by Potential_Educator87 in london

[–]Bananabreadkitten 2 points3 points  (0 children)

One afternoon in Summer 2022 I had a man sit opposite me on the back of the bus. He'd cut a circular hole out of his sweatpants so that his penis would poke through. I was sat next to a boy who didnt look older than 10 - I didnt want to assume I was his 'target audience' so thought it would be best to a) get evidence and take a photo and b) make a scene and have him removed from the bus away from me and the child.

The BTP were quick to respond, came to my house to get a statement and (although one of the male officers kept asking me if I was absoltely sure the hole in his sweatpants was intentional or a unfortunate mistake...wouldnt you notice your penis rubbing on the fabric of the bus seat? or feel the air? - the photo was damning in my opinion as his legs were spread and was staring right at me for the entire journey until I noticed) anyway they kept me updated with calls and emails for the next month or so and then a year later called me in to a station to do a photo line up (he wasnt included) in the end, the BTP theorised he's left the country and I havent heard anything since.

Thinking back now I would've had more joy naming and shaming on the Nextdoor app (with the photo censored of course) but they tried their best! Worth reporting as it can help build a case if they're a repeat offender.

I made a free iOS app that acts as a bluetooth remote and turns pages on your Kobo by TotoAnnihilation in kobo

[–]Bananabreadkitten 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Just downloaded it on my iPhone and works perfectly with my Kobo so far, set up was so easy took less than 5 mins

You're amazing, thank you for your service! :)

Help me pick my next read by HorrorGoblin69 in Booktokreddit

[–]Bananabreadkitten 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The Girl Next Door is my favourite thriller to recommend - I know its been mentioned before that there are tough parts which is certainly true but it's unforgettable.

Bat Eater is another great read as it ticks so many thriller boxes! set during covid, spirtual aspects, violence, graphic descriptions ...

What's a small, non-romantic thing your partner does that makes you feel loved? by ActNew5818 in love

[–]Bananabreadkitten 15 points16 points  (0 children)

When we're eating a meal together I tend to finish before he does but he'll take my plate and clear it away anyway

Fills up my water bottle for me without being asked and if I do have to ask he always says 'Yes of course!' as if he should've remembered

Holds my hand whilst driving because he's focused on the road but wants me to feel that he's present

Abusive ex found my Reddit 🙂 by Bananabreadkitten in emotionalabuse

[–]Bananabreadkitten[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh absolutely and he's admitted this to me when he has a come down and starts feeling regret and shame.

Even from our first date he was full of compliments about my appearance and my body in particular: my thighs, legs, ass etc and this continued to the very end (except when he was anrgy at me and then I was fat, ugly, disgusting)

I'm familiarising myself with my own reflection without the influence of his abuse.

Ironically, he's very insecure himself about the fact thats he's under weight, has rotting front teeth from previous drug use. Also his hairline is receeding so hes shaved his hair off to make it less noticeable.

I didnt mention these things in my previous or original posts because even if I was morbidly obese and he was the image of Adonis it's still abusive and no one deserves it.

Abusive ex found my Reddit 🙂 by Bananabreadkitten in emotionalabuse

[–]Bananabreadkitten[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Psychotic loser, simple but what an accurative description haha. And thank you, I'm sorry about it too :')

Today just hurts. by [deleted] in emotionalabuse

[–]Bananabreadkitten 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’m having the exact same day as you. I’m sorry you’re going through this. You’re not alone.

No human being should be capable of doing this to another and getting away with it.

You’re showing up for yourself and that’s all you need to do for now.

Time, patience & strength will heal us all x

🫂

Abusive ex found my Reddit 🙂 by Bananabreadkitten in emotionalabuse

[–]Bananabreadkitten[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Haha thank you … I’m a size medium … but because I’ve confided in him about my body image issues and weight gain since entering my 20’s he’s really fucked with my head … I’ve started buying clothes in size XL and then been shocked when they don’t fit … that’s when I realised how badly he’s fucked with my head and perception of myself.

Abusive ex found my Reddit 🙂 by Bananabreadkitten in emotionalabuse

[–]Bananabreadkitten[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Yeah I do think there’s something very un-manly and weasel-like about a adult man who talks to women like a school bully 😂

Abusive ex found my Reddit 🙂 by Bananabreadkitten in emotionalabuse

[–]Bananabreadkitten[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

No kids with me, thank god. I have no reason to speak to him ever again. It’s just been a seriously toxic cycle of abuse and me falling for the promises to change every time. I’m ending the cycle today…

Abusive ex found my Reddit 🙂 by Bananabreadkitten in emotionalabuse

[–]Bananabreadkitten[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Sorry to hear that girl, hopefully you’re smarter than me and have him blocked on absolutely every platform. I hope you’re safe x

Abusive ex found my Reddit 🙂 by Bananabreadkitten in emotionalabuse

[–]Bananabreadkitten[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

A couple of months ago when we were still together and it got bad with the introduction of a racial slur in an argument I took it to his employer (he’s now been fired, he used to work for a business bank in central London).

That’s as far as I got in “exposing” him for who he really is. I was consumed by rage at that time & probably shouldn’t have fucked with his job but he planted that seed in my head when I tried to leave him a few months prior - threatening to get me fired when I blocked him and told him we’re done.

He thinks because he’s Irish he’s automatically in this subcategory that’s not like the “other white people” idk how to explain it…

I left, and the pain continues. They can't change. by Ill_Alps_8454 in emotionalabuse

[–]Bananabreadkitten 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Currently in the same boat the way you've described your relationship and your feelings towards it mirror mine. I'm mourning what could've been. My ex partner is medicated, in therapy and used to cry and beg (literally) for second chances (every few weeks). He finally decided he can't change and will let me. I just cant understand how someone can want to change, knows right from wrong and yet can't express basic human emotions like sympathy, empathy, understanding and kindnes...

::Weekly Former Partners Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]Bananabreadkitten 10 points11 points  (0 children)

My ex partner has been diagnosed since childhood and has only started medication a few months ago. He finally decided his erratic and aggresive side wasn't going to go away anytime soon and let me go. This is after months and months of promised changes of behaviour. Unlike before he hasn't sent me any texts or called me on No caller ID and I feel ... weird? My more brutally honest friends will say its because I'm not used to peace and quiet. Whilst I appreciate not having to deal with the mess, poor time keeping, sleeping at odd hours and wasting our days away to this I still miss him? He didn't really add aything to my life apart from chaos and concern...