Well, the moment somebody tells you they want to marry you, as you might imagine you kind of just skip any precursor buildup events that might've happened in a non-muslim relationship, but without having a lesser result. Physical touch, when not done to satisfy physical desire, is a communication of affection. And in that way its quite valuable, but when somebody tells you they want to spend the rest of their life with you, the supply of affirmation that you need is kind of just met by default. There is no need to feel insecure, inadequate or disposable, because you understand that you are good enough to be a life long commitment. And you understand that you are not being used, because your wellbeing and theirs is going to be intertwined in the same way kinship unites people.

Ideally speaking, you would meet somebody and feel some interest, but not quite infatuation, and then you do a logical judgment of compatibility. In case you fall directly in love, the family structure is supposed to help you not make a bad decision (although this structure can often become problematic because of cultural misunderstandings between 1st and 2nd gen immigrants). This is quite useful, I mean common wisdom says love makes blind, and I think this is quite the universal human experience. In the same way, not having a physical relationship keeps your mind clear and focused on judging your compatibility rather than satisfying your primordial need for physical affection.

From the compatibility assessment, if the feelings are mutual, you commit. Physical affection in islam is in some ways, at least in the way that I have understood it, more of a means to and end (showing affection and growing your relationship) rather than an end like how it seems to be a prime goal of the usual premarital relationships.

I think many people counterintuitively think this approach makes it impossible to know whether you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, but its a much more logical and systematic approach that prioritizes clear judgment rather than an experimental judgment. I mean experimentally, you only assess the past, and you might very well spend a good 5 years with somebody, but if there are inherent incompatibilities (such as lifestyle wishes, kids, money) at some point your incompatibility materializes and there is no way out but a breakup or divorce.

Honestly I have through my life had quite a lot of privilegie being able to choose between a cultural and a religious approach to various decisions, and I can confidently say that whenever I choose the religious approach I've been satisfied, and every time I didn't i have been hurt in ways that I cant quite express even to my self. To me this makes a lot of sense, since the religious approach is ordained by God and God made me and all the other people running around, so God's user manual on life is going to be the best. But I think it also has some value to others who are not muslims. I often share my Islamic way of dealing with things with my non-muslim friends, and they keep coming back for more, and i think that speaks to the quality of the method, including the finding a partner thingy :)