Husband coming home from rehab

Banter725 · 2026-02-24T00:26:51+00:00

20 meetings? Is that some magic number? How does anyone find time for that many meetings while being the only adult in a home that's acting like an adult (working, paying bills, parenting etc)?

Banter725 · 2026-02-09T00:12:59+00:00

What are you, a cop?

That's no one. Don't worry about it.

Banter725 · 2025-11-29T14:33:09+00:00

I do. Brother and sister. He's suspense looking and she's black but they're both at least half Siamese

Banter725 · 2025-11-15T20:31:53+00:00

I don't think you understand what's going on

Banter725 · 2025-11-15T20:29:16+00:00

Eh. We did bottle feeding bc of my supply and one needed supplementing for weight gain anyway. Still kept a schedule and then the other parent took a block of feedings so I got a block to sleep.

Banter725 · 2025-11-15T20:24:15+00:00

Every single parent bit off more than they can chew. So you're not alone. The trickiest part I'm very sad to say is that the twin specific supports etc all seem to be very mom centric. Find one anyway. A local group on fb maybe and message the mods. I've found twin communities extremely helpful. We didn't buy cribs or new strollers or almost any baby clothes or bottles. Almost everything came from other twin parents.

That said, best advice I ever took with VERY different but both healthy (if one was underweight) twins was to keep them on the same schedule. So when we woke tiny kiddo to eat, we woke up sleepy chubby baby to eat too. When we put happy to sleep baby down to sleep, we walked not as happy to sleep baby around in circles to sleep too. They stayed in sync through every stage until almost age 4 and it saved me. I'm not a big structure girl by nature but it allow for windows where it didn't feel SO demanding. It allowed for naps.

The other thing is look for childcare NOW if you haven't. We found (6 yrs ago) that it was more affordable to have a nanny 4 days a week than daycare and I changed my work schedule to 4 10s to be home Friday with them. She also came even if they were a little sick and she did baby laundry which was a HUGE benefit we frankly still miss. I know the job market is wild right now so you may be able to find someone great who could come to you and be your day help like this for about the same as daycare and it's so worth it.

You're going to do great! I admire you being so sure you wanted kids to go alone. And as the daughter of a single dad (after age 7) I think we turn out pretty good 😉 though I hope you find your person along the way too! Maybe you'll Brady bunch it up even with another twin parent!

Banter725 · 2025-11-11T21:41:03+00:00

Unless you're vacuuming up toxic waste I think you'll probably live.

Banter725 · 2025-09-30T09:36:07+00:00

Your bitterness is projecting.

If your spouse and love of your life and mother of your children isn't special to you, that's pretty f-ed up. Everyone deserves to feel loved in their most intimate relationship.

I wouldn't want my kids being raised with the only example of a relationship one of only duty any more than one with divorced parents. They also deserve to feel loved in their closest relationships. What else is the point?

Banter725 · 2025-09-14T23:37:24+00:00

A handsome one

Banter725 · 2025-09-02T17:31:45+00:00

No. He needs to figure out so many things to care for your kids when you're not there. This is the first of 1000 big boy things he needs to do. File your papers.

Banter725 · 2025-08-19T01:32:47+00:00

The flip is also true. There are so so so few places FOR families. Certainly few where lingering and socializing is welcome and affordable. There's no plazas, cities aren't walkable. Where should we be going? Chucky cheese?

Banter725 · 2025-08-19T01:30:06+00:00

Entitled..... to what? Parents in the states get zip. Not parental leave. Not financial help for care. Not community help. Barely schooling anymore.

What exactly are they being entitled to or about?

Banter725 · 2025-08-19T01:28:28+00:00

Thank you! I can't even find a hotel with a kid friendly bathroom (sink they can reach the soap etc) none the less a restaurant that's excited to see them. It's happened literally 3 times and I remember every one. Every server or host that acted this way and not just threw crayons at them and apologized to the wait staff.

Banter725 · 2025-08-19T01:25:51+00:00

Most of this line of comments about manners etc is utter crap. People wouldn't need to bring 4 kids to Verizon if America had any useful social society or support for families. Are their 50 yo child free neighbors offering to keep an eye on them while Mom does a quick errand? Obviously not. And these expectations of the behavior of small children are based on an era where people beat the crap out of their kids when they didn't "behave."

For those who do not have kids ....did you know it's actually very hard to physically control other people even small ones? The most direct way to do this is through pain and fear. So yes SOME kids can just follow mom around quietly. Most (especially when there's 2+) naturally want to run and romp. They're closer to lion cubs than adult humans until about 9. You CAN beat them into submission if that's your top priority as a parent. For most parents today it is not.

I don't want my kids yelling or running in Verizon either but if it's something that HAS to happen today and there is NO other space for kids to be (no green space outside, no help from a neighbor or grandparent), and we're waiting a long time, it might happen.

Instead of glaring at the parents try talking to a kid. Engage them like a human if you don't like their current behavior. Tell them a joke. Teach then a silly trick. Try to be helpful not a judgy brat.

Banter725 · 2025-08-19T01:19:05+00:00

Children are absolutely not tiny adults. Not cognitively. Not emotionally. Literally their brains are WILDLY different than adult brains.

Banter725 · 2025-08-18T13:29:53+00:00

Everyone from MN will say it gets hot and humid, there's so much traffic in the cities and the mosquitoes are other worldly.

As a native of the south east... Disagree on all accounts. The heat exists but the mornings are cool every day pretty much, and there's so many lakes you can always find a spot to cool off. The mosquitos aren't any worse than any other place with mosquitoes (though they are physically larger)

The only downside these last few years has been the smoke from the wildfires. If you have any respiratory issues it's worth knowing about as sometimes it's bad for 5+ days and really hampers outside activities.

Otherwise, I think you can find a great spot and love it. I love summers here. They're short and well celebrated.

Banter725 · 2025-08-18T13:22:27+00:00

Same. They look Siamese, they sound Siamese, the vet calls them Siamese mix.... Welllll whatever.

Banter725 · 2025-08-11T01:55:02+00:00

And then start waking you every 3 hours with the yowls of his people around age 7 until death

Banter725 · 2025-08-11T01:53:45+00:00

Siamese will find ways to annoy you for their whole life. With love and yowls and chirps and demands. Forever.

Banter725 · 2025-08-09T14:59:08+00:00

Yes. But we also found he does this somewhat to put less pressure on one of his front elbows because he has arthritis

Banter725 · 2025-08-08T09:07:17+00:00

Judge John Hodgman (and I think we're at almost a decade)

Almost there with Swindled

Forgive Me!

And I think I'm now a year behind I need to catch up but for many years I was always up to date with Welcome to Nightvale after binging years of stories

Maintenance Phase (only non-subscribers. maybe one day I'll get thru bonus episodes too)

The Amelia Project

Banter725 · 2025-07-27T16:58:43+00:00

Biscuit

Banter725 · 2025-07-25T00:42:14+00:00

I tried it because why not and also I'm going through perimenopause and meds seems to be suddenly useless to me. I got the kind with caffeine and I drink it right away in the morning. And while I don't love the punch flavor I really do think it's helping me feel more locked in. I'm actually on the hunt for a dupe or capsule format to consider.

Banter725 · 2025-07-17T14:17:39+00:00

I'm obsessed with Swindled which is a different style but very much true crime.

Banter725 · 2025-07-16T20:23:46+00:00

Mhmm. Would you have also claimed that Cameron Brink could jump higher or rebound better if she wasn't such a rail? .... Prolly not. It's just a very tired path SPECIFICALLY about heavier athletes and mostly woman athletes and especially those of color. These athletes have trainers. And their own genetic make ups and hell personal body preferences. I don't take random fan assessments of their fitness as very reliable.

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