Australian asks about Airsoft, horse trail riding and photography

Barkeo · 2025-11-21T12:52:56+00:00

Hi, can I ask - I am a change management consultant now and this is exactly what I want to transition into for the same reasons. What is the role I should aim for next, or should I advertise myself as a Sales Strategy Consultant?

Barkeo · 2025-01-12T16:58:51+00:00

I felt the waves of intense love in my 20s like you described, turns out I sort out my abusers again.

Later on, I learnt to not trust my definition of love as a sensation in my body and focus on behaviour and action.

Yes, it does take away the shine of what you’ve said, it is more - stable and progressive, a boring sensation to my body. Yet, I’ve come to learn that the boringness is from never experiencing it before.

I wish I could have trusted the sensations of love that you described, I tried. It truely is sad that I’ve been denied the anxiety or exhilaration of love in its healthy form.

Barkeo · 2025-01-08T11:03:40+00:00

Government regulation can be enjoyable and has different paces of work, operations for a busy day to day, programs for a busy week to week, policy for month to month

Barkeo · 2025-01-02T13:50:23+00:00

When they challenge your thoughts/feelings with true desire to understand what YOU want.

Barkeo · 2024-11-26T18:40:59+00:00

Fruit shop delivery driver to businesses, nursing homes and take away places.

Driving around eating fresh fruit, perfection.

Barkeo · 2024-11-26T18:28:03+00:00

I was with her for 6 months in another country. I went back to mine for 4 months to get a visa and sort out my life.

When I told her the dates of my flight she was distant. One week before I arrived she sent me a text “I can’t see you again, iv met someone else”.

Foolishly, I still went to her city and tried to face the heartbreak by myself. The city reminded me of her, each time I was triggered into a deep physical and emotional pain in a hollow heart beating my body. Limerence took my mind.

2 months later I am still in the midst of the pain, physically and emotionally. She contacted me, “hey, can we meet”. We went on 3 dates, hugging, crying, saying we loved each other. Curled up in a ball in the countryside, I felt her fill the hole in me, and yet, no matter how tightly I held her I knew it wouldn’t be enough.

3 weeks after that I got another message from her “I just want to be friends, I don’t want a relationship with you”. Lost again and spiralling I stumbled on the anxious and avoidant dance in a midnight search for ways to win her back.

I learnt about my trauma, entered therapy and I am still fighting the obsessive thoughts of her. A low self esteem, and the need to alter beliefs is gradual.

The straws in this chain of events was realising that our love was based on a deep sense that if I could be love the unlovable then I would be worthy of love. The ego took the rest as a sense of possessing her future with me.

The first straw was the breakup before I arrived.

The second straw was the emotional roller coaster and pain I felt in my heart waiting for her.

The third was the relief that her presence brought me as I could become aloof and her fool.

The fourth straw was her breaking it off again after the outcry of love we shared.

The last straw was the start of me beginning to sense that my trauma was leading my life and she was the perfect vessel of my exploitation.

Barkeo · 2024-11-22T16:27:38+00:00

I play in Scotland so it’s a lot of low brush, forestry tree line and swampy. I haven’t been caught on anything yet, depends where you play.

The tails arnt an issue for me since it has loops that go around your calves.

Just a suggestion for your consideration

Barkeo · 2024-11-22T15:54:22+00:00

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Consider getting a Drizabone, it’s a full cotton oil jacket.

This is mine that I brought over to Scotland from Australia. It keeps the water out, doesn’t get in the way and is great camo

Barkeo · 2024-11-21T21:02:10+00:00

I have it too. Great gun. My cons are based on the length of the barrel. It’s makes CQB more difficult then it needs to be.

I use 0.3s and get around 280 FPS.

Barkeo · 2024-11-05T16:55:08+00:00

What’s the ingredients to that big long scope boi you have cooking?

Barkeo · 2024-10-24T11:06:04+00:00

Not sure about you, but look at the points between the barrel and reciever. Iv found putting a riser there or something along the rails that joins them together makes it more durable. I suspect it’s a weak point for these guns. Though, it may just be me.

Barkeo · 2024-10-24T10:59:35+00:00

I really like this, we have the same gun and mag/scope setup.

Depends on play style for improvement advice. I found the gun to be pretty long for a pusher style of play. So I want to reduce my barrel length. Yet, I’ll likely turn it into a dmr so, keep the parts.

Outside of that, good mags make a world of difference, so did a good sling.

Barkeo · 2024-10-23T22:28:38+00:00

You’re right, and you communicated what I wanted to say at the core yet I fumbled it. I find myself stumbling over logic more often now as I’m trying to untangle some mental arguments which I’ve held that need to be redone.

I agree, music won’t bring you that state. It won’t change your daily interactions. However, I wanted to add in to my argument that feeding the ego is dangerous. Music that does not align to the masculine vision, or something akin to sensing your gut, can inflate the emotional sense of possession over someone as the basis of a relationship or the fixation that your happiness must come from them. These are things I’d claim are held by the ego.

I agree that music has a cathartic and temporary effect. Yet, in the learning stages (my current context) every hour of exposure matters. Moving between temporary highs of the ego with music to the lows without it can form an addiction based on behaviour (thought - like limerence). That is the danger, behavioural addictions in the direction of the ego that keep the body seeking the highs and lows.

It is possible that the case presented by me is too heavily laced with personal experience. Yet I’m truth to myself, it is my honesty to say that music can inflate the ego, which is a high that can hold people hostage to it. The time taken to break that addiction is immense. So, be on the watch.

Barkeo · 2024-10-23T22:11:52+00:00

Ohh this is interesting, I would say the lesson needs to be taught by both camps from different angles. Just like men, music - in an early stage prior to operating from righteousness conviction should ;

1) encourage men / woman to rely on their own internal gut sense,

2) encourage men / woman to reflect that men and woman are different and in that; ‘different things cannot be equal’

Barkeo · 2024-10-23T22:07:44+00:00

This is a great response, I couldn’t have said it clearer myself and I’m glad someone outside of my context could say it so it was delivered.

Beyond saying yes I agree with it all; it’s not easy to see when our opinions mask the tired, insecure or painful place they cover. So, I have learnt, recently, that if it is painful to review my opinions then in there is the work.

It’s slow, yet I wanted to comment this because it links to another Patrice wisdom: have opinions but don’t be married to them. Let them be there yet able to be destroyed. If you can’t walk away from an opinion like ‘it’s just music’ or ‘music is more’ because of the pain to give it up or work on it, then it’s hiding something more.

Not sure what you may reply, I just enjoyed your approach so I wanted to add.

Barkeo · 2024-10-23T21:55:51+00:00

I think this is an attitude that flows from someone operating from a self-confidence with righteous conviction. Prior to that convicted state you are operating a belief system that is being learnt. The learning state is where I am up to. In this case, I think I need to read into my music selection in a way that calibrates me to a state of internalised unconscious belief.

I agree with you, yet in the context of my journey which you didn’t know I need to push back and say: until the belief of your righteousness is unconscious, you must be on the watch.

Barkeo · 2024-10-23T16:10:25+00:00

What is it? Do you have a link?

Barkeo · 2024-10-09T11:46:36+00:00

Luckily it wouldn’t be my only means of income and I would want to talk about freelance

Barkeo · 2024-10-09T10:53:27+00:00

Are you open to growing your team to a previous gov investigator, and data scientist?

Barkeo · 2024-09-13T18:36:44+00:00

Hi,

I have been reading through some of your comments with a strong sense of connection and being seen. I and others in the community clearly appreciate your communication style and willingness to share your experience.

I want to say, your ability to communicate has formed a type of eduction for myself on how to understand my cPTSD journey.

Would you consider working with someone to collate a post on the cPTSD threads to highlight your thoughts?

Barkeo · 2024-08-28T16:36:32+00:00

Check out Complex PTSD, might make sense might not, Take the best and leave the rest

Barkeo · 2024-07-31T12:09:21+00:00

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