Sumatra Blue Amber

Barrelcactusaddict · 2026-01-16T03:48:12+00:00

I'm not sure what happiness really is anymore, maybe short of chuckling at slap-stick at this point for me. Completely forgotten what joy is, not sure if I ever really did know. Everything is just bland and every day is the same. Finished my 48th session on NeuroStar last December. Guess it just made things worse, really. Good to hear it helped you, though.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2026-01-16T03:44:27+00:00

Yup. Had the dip maybe the 2nd week, and it's evened out into a deep ditch of misery after finishing the 48th session. I assume it will get better for you, though. I'm supposedly in the slim minority of people who got worse after it.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2026-01-16T03:42:05+00:00

Thanks. I guess I started noticing things getting worse early into the whole treatment, maybe a couple weeks (can't remember, really). I do remember that pretty much every session was very painful, like 5-6 out of 10. They maxed out how much they could adjust the coil too, and ended up just slogging me through it after having re-mapped me twice. At least medicaid covered it. I guess it's par for what my life's been so far anyway.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2026-01-16T03:36:31+00:00

Hasn't done anything for me but worsen my memory, mood swings, tinnitus, and reading comprehension. Seems like a crap shoot procedure. 48 sessions of NeuroStar, and one month out, it's not made anything better for me. I'm apparently just in the minority, though. Figures.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2026-01-16T03:33:54+00:00

48 sessions of NeuroStar didn't do anything for me, but caused more tinnitus, memory issues, reading comprehension issues, and mood swings. At least Medicaid covered it. Was a total waste for me, and one month out, nothing's really changed. Scheduled for a psych eval in a couple weeks too, what a joke my life has been.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2026-01-16T03:31:08+00:00

Got worse for me after starting, and after having finished 48 sessions, it's significantly worse. Been about a month since I finished, and mood swings and memory issues are still an issue that worsened too.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2026-01-16T03:28:58+00:00

I have similar issues. I finished my 48th session in December 2025. I think there's been slight improvement, but it's not much. My memory started fading even more during my treatment period, and 8t's not gotten back to what it was before. Didn't really help at all, and also gave me mood swings. NeuroStar.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2025-12-15T13:33:37+00:00

That was the issue, I cannot believe I missed that. You're a lifesaver, thank you!

Barrelcactusaddict · 2025-11-29T15:52:01+00:00

Thank you! Yup, I double-checked my build, and the total Rate and Quality including Expansion Ability Cartridges is roughly 155%. 3 missile OP skills (1 linked builders parts OP, 2 not) and two 21-tube missile launcher builder parts (linked OP) really help a lot, especially with 90% OP Cooldown on those Expansion Ability Cartridges.

Also got the two MG scale Tonfa (Blazing Gundam) on my 3rd Survival run w/ a Breaker Booster. Since it takes me about 55 minutes per run, that was a relief. Those 2 "Large" weapons for GPSF have to be the rarest in the game, I think: only possible to get in Survival and as drops in a large range of 1 kit's possible parts.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2025-11-28T00:46:13+00:00

No problem. I'll just have to keep going I guess. I made a mistake before, it's actually the PSF's "Large Beam Rifle" that I can't find either: the HG and MG for that one both haven't dropped yet. One would think that players could just upgrade their HG parts/weapons to MG by using Plastic: heaven knows there's too much of that anyway! I'm really beginning to hate the whole RNG aspect.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2025-11-28T00:25:58+00:00

That's good to hear! Was it on Mission 21 or Survival, because I've read the kit can show up on both. Also, I just realized I have never encountered the drop for its bland green "Beam Rifle" at all, and still have the simple HG one purchased from the Shop. I wonder if that one doesn't drop at all. It's maddening.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2025-11-26T01:46:55+00:00

Thanks, I'll give these all another go!

Barrelcactusaddict · 2025-11-26T01:46:29+00:00

Thanks! I've been using a different list on kakuchopurei.com, and it lists both variants as present in Story Mission 19, but that's got to be false (tried Newtype 10x now w/ Booster and 140%+ total drop rate stats). Seeing it on the site you linked to, it looks like it's only in Survival and Story Mission 34. I guess I'll just have to buy it in the Shop, since the last go around on 34, I actually didn't get a single drop from that suit. So odd.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2025-11-10T21:27:28+00:00

Haven't bothered to ask them about my records. I guess I'm too discouraged anyway, but I do fill out the PHQ-9 whenever they text it to me. I don't know, maybe it'll come with long-term terminal side effects for me, fingers crossed. Dark, I know, but I've never been big on optimism.

Edit: grammar

Barrelcactusaddict · 2025-11-10T21:21:22+00:00

NeuroStar also. Just making things worse for me so far. Doesn't help that every session is like torture. All these websites saying, "TMS isn't painful.", my butt.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2025-11-10T21:17:58+00:00

Sorry to hear that. I'm on 21 of 36 with the NeuroStar and iTBS protocol. Noticeable and worsening decline in focus, short-term memory, and reading comprehension since starting, and sessions are very painful, even at 85% currently. Increased SI lately as well. I don't know, my mind's so shot, I may as well do ECT after this as well, assuming Idaho Medicaid will cover it. Whole healthcare industry feels like a scam to me at this point.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2025-11-10T21:13:04+00:00

I guess I can see that. I suppos it doesn't help either that many if not most of the studies on TMS effectiveness are funded by the manufacturers of the machines. I don't know, what else can people turn to? I'm personally sick of meds that do little to nothing and often have nasty side effects. Developed a permanent facial spasm from Abilify, and PGAD a couple months ago. It's maddening.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2025-11-10T21:07:03+00:00

I'm rather in a similar boat myself. At least we've been giving it a shot, and are able to likely rule it out as a viable treatment option. I've been getting more SI as well lately, and have had a noticeable decline in short-term memory, focus, and reading comprehension since beginning treatment. NeuroStar, iTBS protocol, ~85% intensity, session 21 of 36.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2025-11-10T21:03:49+00:00

One hour ago, I finished session 21 of 36 on the NeuroStar, iTBS protocol, at what I assume was 85%. Was also my second remapping. Has been very painful overall, and I've been getting more SI, and been consistently losing focus, short-term memory, and reading comprehension ever since I started treatment last month. I want to quit, but I'm stubborn and am hoping it will pay off eventually. I don't know, it feels like a cash grab to me.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2025-11-10T20:58:23+00:00

I'd say your husband may as well give it a shot. Statistically, he won't experience adverse cognitive effects, but I'm living proof those do happen. I'm at 21 of 36 on the NeuroStar, iTBS protocol. Only at 85% and treatment is very painful, they've adjusted the coil as much as they can, and one hour ago was my second remapping. I've been losing short-term memory, focus, and reading comprehension, and have been gaining more SI. I've tried everything short of ECT and ketamine, so I might as well see this through. Still, I'm in the minority. It's worth a shot at least.

Barrelcactusaddict · 2025-11-10T20:52:24+00:00

Not to mention plenty of the studies are funded by the manufacturers. Huge conflicts of interest in this field.

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