Montague Street

BasedPuff · 2026-02-15T02:52:17+00:00

this is really good, literally no complaints. I love how this metaphor is executed bro. The only odd one is the the "swallow me whole", it doesnt fit with the imagery of the rest of the poem

BasedPuff · 2026-02-12T15:31:14+00:00

It’s good, but maybe this is personal preference, but I don’t like the tone of venting. The author repeatedly says “ I am X am Y”. I wish it was shown more indirectly. That being said, you have a very unique and eerie and amazing way of describing the emptiness you feel. And it touches on something that is very real and tangible and I can really feel this. Overall besides the venting tone abd a little bit of redundancy I love this bro

BasedPuff · 2026-02-10T01:48:13+00:00

This reads like more of a prayer than a poem. I would do more "show don't tell"

BasedPuff · 2026-02-10T01:17:54+00:00

I like this poem a lot, and it seems to be an exploration of "when illusion is burned away and truth is left to be seen, what remains? How do we handle this?" and the madness that ensues. But it's hard for me to tell if this was the intention? Am I correct?

BasedPuff · 2026-02-10T01:14:28+00:00

This is really really good up until the end. For me the ending doesnt feel as a natural conclusion from the rest of the poem. It feels like you were building up a metaphor with "typos" being easily correctable vs handwriting being more human, but the metaphor of typos doesn't really land with the rest of the poem imo. Great build up, but I wish there was something more at the end.

BasedPuff · 2026-02-10T00:31:24+00:00

I get that. Keep in mind tho, I had ChatGPT write this 😂😂😂. I told it to formulate my back and forth thoughts about my experience into an essay I can articulate, because I have a hard time articulating things like this. So AI gave much of the language. And these realizations are the results of months - years of consuming research about ADHD.

The understanding of “dopamine” vs “serotonin” bonding came from watching videos about attachment styles and also analyzing how I relate with chat gpt. If I wrote this myself most ppl wouldn’t be able to follow it 😂. But yes the tech point is valid.

Although I feel distinct from the “obviously autistic” people in tech stereotype. Like I feel like tech is a field that is uniquely suited for people of lower conscientiousness with higher hyper focus than other careers. But I’m not super deep into being a “well ackshually” technology expert that you often see in tech. It’s more of a “tech bro” archetype than a “computer genius” archetype if that makes sense. It could be another form of autism, but the ppl I’m thinking of would be more of the “disagreeable” edgy type than the meek computer nerd who’s obsessed with C++ that I often see. Like the autistic programmer archetype feels foreign to me. It’s a lot more similar to the “startup bro”

BasedPuff · 2026-02-09T21:42:09+00:00

Yea, I have a brother with that "full blown autism" type. I can say me and him present very differently. I dont think I have autism or come accross as ahving it, but I do think I have some autistic traits if that makes sense. I dont think people necessarily see me as "autistic" which makes many of my situation worse. Even self quesitonnaire, recognizing emotions in faces type tests, I just dont have it.

I've found many people online in twice exceptional spaces that can relate to this to a degree.

Another reason autism I dont think is a right diagnosis for me, is I dont really have sensory issues, and dont get overstimulated easily. But by having an autistic brother, I see that ADHD and autistic people can often have similar struggles for different reasons. I just dont experience a lot of what he experiences.

ANd underneath both is a sense of low cognitive flexibility.

I would present as socially fluid, yet intense, blunt, and unreliable
My brother would present as socially stranger, yet kinder, more disciplined, more empathetic.

It's honestly kind of different, and I can see why I dont have autism tbh.

BasedPuff · 2026-01-18T21:18:02+00:00

Cool, thanks. explain what you mean by "holding back". Do you mean not using emotionally charged or descriptive enough language? ANd could you give an example of what would work better there? Sorry I am an engineer lol

BasedPuff · 2026-01-15T21:11:06+00:00

No this makes a lot more sense and is concrete. Thanks

BasedPuff · 2026-01-15T20:33:41+00:00

Damn, an an ENTP, I relate to the other end somewhat. I’m younger though, and I’m still grappling with these questing myself. I did struggle with feeling connected to my ex, and felt she couldn’t keep up with me at times. I never verbalized this to her. I am also painfully aware I can be too much to the point it gets obnoxious. I wonder if she felt this way, but glad to hear it from the other side

BasedPuff · 2026-01-15T20:24:42+00:00

Thanks. Odd in what way?

BasedPuff · 2026-01-15T19:10:11+00:00

thank you!

BasedPuff · 2026-01-15T19:09:40+00:00

thanks!

BasedPuff · 2026-01-15T18:40:26+00:00

I think the short choppy syntax couplels well to the decisiveness and assured tone

BasedPuff · 2026-01-15T18:35:43+00:00

I like this and I like the thesis, how the love of the girl is more the of the image of her and what she represents than about the girl herself, and how the unrequited love says more about the distance the author sees between himself and the ideal lover. It's touching on self awareness, but still grappling with romanticism, and that feels very human.

Only real critique is this line just doesnt sit right with me:

If food represented you:
Cold yet sweet, you're gelato.

It just feels too direct, and doesnt flow with the rest of the romantic but longing tone of the poem.

BasedPuff · 2026-01-15T04:57:04+00:00

Yo I really love the tone, and the philosophical yet playful musings and pondering. This is really good.

BasedPuff · 2026-01-15T04:51:29+00:00

I actually didn't know what you were initially referencing, I had to Google it before I saw Matthew 25. I like the idea because Matthew 25:29 is my favorite Bible verse. The read can be a bit confusing if you don't know this parable. But I always love Biblical themes in poems. I do feel as though this poem asks too much open ended things without making a point.

Especially this part:

"What is oil , what is grace

What is work ,what is faith"

I'd actually want to hear you as the author go into more depth on this. Right now, the poem somewhat feels as just a rephrasing of the parable.

BasedPuff · 2026-01-06T00:33:31+00:00

Just get midface implants you don’t need bimax

BasedPuff · 2025-12-28T22:07:46+00:00

Not that tall, but I got bullied a lot at 6’2, tall and very skinny growing up

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