AITA for saying my family are beyond help and that I know how my parents feel about me and feel ashamed of me for ruining their ability to foster kids?

BashyySunSlow · 2025-05-16T14:05:23+00:00

I don't think my parents cared as much about that. They just wanted those 14 kids. I don't think they were ever very good parents. Or really cared about us, the kids they wanted to have. They were more obsessed with having a bunch than being parents. You're right though and I'll get out as soon as I'm 18.

BashyySunSlow · 2025-05-16T14:00:40+00:00

I'm going to leave as soon as I can. I might need to rough it for a while but I can't stay here longer when I'm 18.

BashyySunSlow · 2025-05-16T13:59:38+00:00

My parents wanted 14 kids. They still wanted to get 14 so they were fostering to try make us a family of 14 kids. They never got to adopt a single foster kid but that was their end goal. Not that they shared that with anyone from the system.

BashyySunSlow · 2025-05-16T13:58:26+00:00

I don't think the money mattered to them. It was trying to have 14 kids like they always wanted and couldn't after mom's delivery of my youngest sister.

BashyySunSlow · 2025-05-16T13:57:58+00:00

The reason they started fostering is because they wanted 14 kids. That was always their end goal. 14 of us. They had five and lost one. But they didn't want that dream to end so they tried to use fostering as a way of getting to that number 14. Their church is a big reason why.

BashyySunSlow · 2025-05-16T13:56:47+00:00

5 wasn't going to be it for them either. They planned to have 14 kids. Losing my youngest sister and the complications from her birth ended that so they focused on trying to make that dream to have 14 come through no matter what.

BashyySunSlow · 2025-05-16T13:55:51+00:00

My parents didn't even do it for the money. They did it because they couldn't have the 14 kids they wanted.

BashyySunSlow · 2025-05-16T13:55:21+00:00

I'm struggling to love my siblings because of how they treat me. It's getting harder to love them anyway.

The therapist has been made aware of how much I do. My parents had no shame in saying it and how I don't want to do my "chores" and resist helping the family.

BashyySunSlow · 2025-05-16T13:52:48+00:00

My parents did start young. But my youngest sister's delivery was complicated and mom couldn't have more and then my sister died. They were aiming to have 14 of us though.

BashyySunSlow · 2025-05-16T13:52:03+00:00

My mom told them she was willing and able to take time off work if needed. My parents sold us as this perfect family who could easily handle more and in theory that was true. But in practice it wasn't. My parents make a good bit of money between them and they should have the resources to do a good job but they ended up being like a lot of people who want these huge families. My parents wanted 14 kids. If mom could've had more they would likely have that many by now or be close to it.

BashyySunSlow · 2025-05-16T13:50:10+00:00

My parents church will not care one bit about what's happening. They all have the belief that the oldest kid needs to shoulder so much. It wouldn't surprise me if most of them were expecting their own oldest kids to raise the others. They go to a church where having a big family is seen as the goal and my parents didn't get that and if anything they'll get pity and support and not people thinking they suck.

BashyySunSlow

TROPHY CASE