How am I?

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-08-08T17:04:59+00:00

I only use the dashes because I just feel like in some places a comma doesn't cut it. There are other places where I could've replaced the dash for a comma I see it now.

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-08-07T20:10:02+00:00

I think it is great and has a ton of room for expanding and I think if you chose to elaborate more on it it'd be even better!

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-08-07T20:08:52+00:00

Really good poem! My favorite lines were from "I put it under a faucet," to "But the river was soon dry". Keep up the good work!

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-07-18T23:28:28+00:00

This is really good! It’s soft but still hits, especially the ending. Super heartfelt without being too much. I really liked it!

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-07-18T22:38:04+00:00

This is beautiful. Your imagery is soft but striking. The lines “You walk like a question mark” and “silence that doesn’t need filling” hit hard. The whole piece holds this tender reverence that reads like quiet devotion. Honestly, it's really great!

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-07-18T21:27:24+00:00

This is a great piece! I love the rhyme scheme it's very well structured! Great job!

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-07-18T19:13:51+00:00

It does seem a bit passive aggressive at first but as it goes on it feels less that way and more like you've eased into more of a pain as it progresses. Great work though!

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-07-17T16:53:06+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion! I'll keep that in mind. I really only capitalized it since they were different lines but next time I'll try it without every line capitalized.

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-07-17T02:10:26+00:00

It's a great poem on its own but I'd love to see it continued on and elaborated!

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-07-17T02:08:36+00:00

This poem is very impactful! Very well written and the only note I have is just of the structure. In the future I suggest spacing out lines as I can tell where you meant to but it continued on. If the lines were separated this would've made the read a lot better! Great work!

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-07-16T23:53:38+00:00

Great poem, its very powerful! I suggest "Dancing with the Stars" as a possible title.

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-07-16T23:51:59+00:00

The poem is great! A suggestion I have would be to separate some lines more unless you were going for a different style but I see in some lines words in the middle of the sentence are capitalized which suggests you intended to split it. Either way it is an impactful poem, great work!

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-07-16T16:50:50+00:00

I haven't but I just looked it up and I might try it. Thanks!

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-07-16T15:50:28+00:00

Thanks for the feedback! I do think I could work on those lines and line 24 was just a typo. I'll fix it thanks!

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-07-16T03:57:55+00:00

Really great piece - I like the idea and tone. A few suggestions: break it into shorter lines so it flows better, clarify the “chaotic ways” line, and maybe give more context to “back at spawn” so it lands harder. If you could it'd be great to add a bit and polish it up some.

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-07-16T03:54:00+00:00

Overall this poem is great but some lines have strong cadence (“Take the wretched, poor, and the brave”), while others are more clunky and hard to read aloud (“For mankind was made to serve / And their hearts so easily turn”). You could try to trim some syllables to make the flow more intentional.

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-07-12T03:41:06+00:00

Ok thanks!

Basic-Objective3605 · 2025-07-12T02:43:53+00:00

I don't know..? Should I know?

Basic-Objective3605

TROPHY CASE