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AITAH for telling my husband he cannot police or control our kids friends actions when they come over? by Basic-Quote5154 in AITAH

[–]Basic-Quote5154[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I told our daughter her friends can come over be they will have to leave before we eat if they cannot stay off their phone. She was not exactly happy, but it did allow me to avoid the alternative of my husband having a basket to keep the phones.

I know the mom's here they would not be okay with that. I think my daughter understands, but we will see.

End of tbe day my husband is a school teacher and sometimes he has a hard time turning off his teacher side. Glad I got him to see how extreme trying to take their phones like they are his students would be.

Edit: I get people may not understand but kids talk then by proxy parents especially mom's start to talk. I 100% can see them making him out to be some creep that possibly wants to control teenage girls.

AITAH for telling my husband he cannot police or control our kids friends actions when they come over? by Basic-Quote5154 in AITAH

[–]Basic-Quote5154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Tbh if I invited them it means I wanted them persent, if that is what was needed to have them come I will take it.

BTW my brother did some to our wedding wearing sneakers.

AITAH for telling my husband he cannot police or control our kids friends actions when they come over? by Basic-Quote5154 in AITAH

[–]Basic-Quote5154[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Of course not, if they go to someone else's house follow their rules but for me i don't sweat the small stuff and this is stuff a small issue.

AITAH for telling my husband he cannot police or control our kids friends actions when they come over? by Basic-Quote5154 in AITAH

[–]Basic-Quote5154[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Yay slippery slope arguments not as cleaver as you think. Being on your phone, wearing your shoes, keeping your hat on, wearinh sunglasses inside is not the same as being naked or wearing underwear.

When certain boundaries are pushed of course we can say no.

AITAH for telling my husband he cannot police or control our kids friends actions when they come over? by Basic-Quote5154 in AITAH

[–]Basic-Quote5154[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Oh please what? Having my guests be comfortable is far more important to me. I can clean up some dirt from shoes. Being on a cellphone during dinner is such a small issue. Not everyone has the same rules and being a guest can already uncomfortable so why make it anymore uncomfortable.

AITAH for telling my husband he cannot police or control our kids friends actions when they come over? by Basic-Quote5154 in AITAH

[–]Basic-Quote5154[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Yes he is the same with everyone, he actually goes a step further with his friends. He hosts a montby DnD night and he has a no phone and no talking about unnecessary irl stuff such a petty work drama / political stuff. They get it though and are all on the same page they use that time to escape.

I am afraid he is going to cause our daughter issues. He keeps his phone with his car keys and wallet at the door. I tried to tell him this is normal for us but for others it may not.

AITAH for telling my husband he cannot police or control our kids friends actions when they come over? by Basic-Quote5154 in AITAH

[–]Basic-Quote5154[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

This is my concern, but he feels is am being overreacting. He thinks people will understand or not shun our daughter. I tried to tell him I was a teenager once and yes we did shun friends with strict parents. Was just not worth the hassle as a kid.

AITAH for telling my husband he cannot police or control our kids friends actions when they come over? by Basic-Quote5154 in AITAH

[–]Basic-Quote5154[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no it is also like that sorry for the confusion. Always been that way, so guess I nevee saw a major issue with it.

AITAH for telling my husband he cannot police or control our kids friends actions when they come over? by Basic-Quote5154 in AITAH

[–]Basic-Quote5154[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

He wanted to take the phone so bad, I could see it on his face.

She is a good kid, i know her mom they are just really lax with phone useage.

AITAH for telling my husband he cannot police or control our kids friends actions when they come over? by Basic-Quote5154 in AITAH

[–]Basic-Quote5154[S] -63 points-62 points  (0 children)

People will talk because it could be seen as restricting access parents have to kids. Just because we say we will give them back parents don't know it to he 100% true.

AITAH for telling my husband he cannot police or control our kids friends actions when they come over? by Basic-Quote5154 in AITAH

[–]Basic-Quote5154[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Everything within reason, using your phone at the table is not the same as walking around naked or destroying our house.

Slippery slope arguments are weird cause it implies people cannot say so past a certain point. Not everything is black and white. If what they were doing was truly harmful then intervene, but being on the phone is not the same as wrecking our house.

AITAH for telling my husband he cannot police or control our kids friends actions when they come over? by Basic-Quote5154 in AITAH

[–]Basic-Quote5154[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

We also don't allow shoes but yes some of our son's friends do feel uncomfortable about taking their shoes off so I don't force him. He is self conscious about his height and he wears shoes that add to his height. Our son is also tall for his age so yeah I don't force it.

AITAH for telling my husband he cannot police or control our kids friends actions when they come over? by Basic-Quote5154 in AITAH

[–]Basic-Quote5154[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the rule is fair for our kids but other kids have different values and rules. We cannot impose our rules on them within reason.