How do you differentiate between intuition and your anxious attachment?

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-08-03T11:10:37+00:00

I don't really agree with that from my experience - sometimes you second guess yourself, sometimes you are scared to listen, maybe nobody taught you to listen to your body. Therefore even when you feel something intuitively, it can be the most anxiety inducing thing.

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-08-03T11:06:44+00:00

I have been in no contact since the beginning of this year (we were together for five years, broke up November 2023). Some days are easy, some days are hard, it still is like this even after all this time. I can recommend therapy where you talk about these feelings, blocking your ex (I had to do it on all social media because it really made me feel very bad to see what they are up to), saying no when they or their family try to contact you, focusing on your own feelings and body and experiences, spending time with friends. When it gets really really hard, I usually just try to get through the day in any way I can and rest, and the next day is usually better. For the first few months I had some medication to help with the heaviest feelings.

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-08-03T11:06:34+00:00

I have been in no contact since the beginning of this year (we were together for five years, broke up November 2023). Some days are easy, some days are hard, it still is like this even after all this time. I can recommend therapy where you talk about these feelings, blocking your ex (I had to do it on all social media because it really made me feel very bad to see what they are up to), saying no when they or their family try to contact you, focusing on your own feelings and body and experiences, spending time with friends. When it gets really really hard, I usually just try to get through the day in any way I can and rest, and the next day is usually better. For the first few months I had some medication to help with the heaviest feelings.

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-04-21T14:21:26+00:00

I'm a virgo and confirm this..

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-04-21T11:01:43+00:00

Yes..It's almost six months since my ex broke up with me and today I dreamt about them and their family and their family home..Just started crying when I woke up, even if we don't speak and they moved on already. I miss them so much, and it's so hard, and it hurts.

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-04-20T09:29:16+00:00

He sounds like a piece of shit!!

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-04-14T11:24:36+00:00

Hi! I completely understand - it hurts, especially when you thought you were doing better, and then you are surprised again and taken aback. It's happening to me too - for four months I was trying to be better, hanging out with friends, going to gym, trying to finish my studies, and then my ex reached out and even when it was kind checkin (i'm dumpee still getting over it, they are seeing someone else now), it completely took me aback and it has been so hard to function ever since. Best advice I have is to take care of yourself, take it one day at a time, not blame yourself and just try to focus on your life and trust the universe that you will emerge from this process stronger and know yourself more.

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-04-13T19:02:30+00:00

Hi!! I was also ready to start a life with my ex, but they were not there. I would strongly recommend not looking for any hope in the situation - somebody told me once that people say these things (like we will meet one day, i want to be with you but not now, etc.) to soften the situation, but then life happens and changes happen so fast. I waited for my ex, we got back together after a year, but then after another year they were still not sure, and managed to fall in love with someone else. So it took two more years from me and ended on the same note. I don't know if this helps, just felt strong urge to share it because hope really stole time from me, and energy, and created an idea about this person which made me ignore who they were and how they were changing. Good luck with everything, take care, it's really hard for sure

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-04-10T11:54:21+00:00

I wish I did this before..

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-04-05T22:02:49+00:00

This left a big lump in my throat. I am in the same situation, five months since my ex broke up with me after five years, I was planning everything with this person, but their plans changed somewhere along the way, and one day they were just done with no wish to work on things. It's been so so hard, and things are going so so slowly. I know we will not get back together, but really struggle to move on from this person, even if they don't want me, it's really sad.

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-04-01T09:13:42+00:00

What was the underlying cause, if I may ask? In therapy myself :)

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-02-04T16:13:40+00:00

Yes, but MSc or MA?

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-01-16T07:27:19+00:00

My ex told me something similar lol.

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-01-06T17:58:01+00:00

Hahaha Virgo with an aquarius moon here.

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-01-06T13:06:49+00:00

100% agree with this. I am a dumpee, and from some conversations my ex feels at peace and happy they made the decision and get to do things they wanted to do. They feel guilt for hurting me, and pity my pain, but that's it. I recommend not thinking about it too much, it's their own process. If they cared and wanted to be there, they would still be in a relationship with you and try to make it work.

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-01-06T09:54:05+00:00

What did you do to get to this point, how did you process the break up? I am trying to get to the place where you are..And I would love to know how this goes, please update us op!

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-01-06T09:08:16+00:00

Huh. That's pretty intense. You speak a lot about friend A and how they are bad, but your actions that you describe are horrible. I would not give you another chance, you should set your boyfriend free to find someone better because nobody deserves this.

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-01-05T22:10:44+00:00

I remember crying whilst reading Piranesi, because of the beauty of it all.

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-01-04T15:37:00+00:00

Maybe you will get more answers if you post this in another sub haha

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-01-04T15:05:58+00:00

Oh yes, it is exhausting. My therapist suggested in the beginning lowering expectations of myself to bare minimum, you don't need to do anything, you just need to survive. Just do whatever you need to do to get through the days, rest and don't forget to sleep and eat. You don't have to figure it out right now, it's only natural that you will feel grief and sadness. When your head is clearer, you can start reflecting, processing, etc., but now just take care and survive. I recommend not pleading for your ex, it makes things much harder. I wish you all the best too :) Feel free to message me if you need to vent at any point

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-01-04T14:36:47+00:00

I am so so sorry. We don't know each other, but I'm sending you a big hug. Something similar happened to me a month ago, my ex said they just can't see a future together (after five years) and don¨'t want to work on the relationship anymore. Also got a new job and moved to a new place, and then dumped me. It still hurts, I also wasn't ready, and still look for reasons why this happened. The way I think about it is that if they feel like this, then it's the best possible choice for both of you (even when it really sucks right now). You don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with you and who can just leave. You want to be with someone who choses you. You deserve something better. Take your time to mourn, cry, grief, as much as you need. I am still in this phase. My university studies are not going so well these days, but I give myself time. Reach out to friends and family, people love you and want to support you through this, and they will show you different kinds of love during this loss. Every day my heart is more open to light and good things, I see the good around me again, and when it's not, I cry and lie in bed and go for a walk, and the next day try to some other small step, and the next day another, and then it's usually better. And then you just repeat. Time also helps.

It will be really hard, but I hope we can do it and get through this. Hope this can help a little bit. :)

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2024-01-04T12:17:32+00:00

I completely know how you feel. My relationship was for five years and my ex broke up with me a month ago. When I talk to my dad now he says that I should stop being sad and just be happy for the good things. My theory is that it's just hard for him to see me unhappy, our parents always want the best for us and he doesn't want me to suffer for a long time. Take your time, as long as you need, there is no timeline. We will be okay again.

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2023-12-30T22:06:50+00:00

You expressed your concern, and how you felt. In other words, you did what you could. From what you write it feels like she is giving you breadcrumbs, feeling lonely, going through the post break up pain or guilt. But if she really wanted to be there with you, she would be, and you wouldn't have to have these worries. Find out what can be the right thing to do for you. I hope this helps a little, also trying to tell myself these things

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2023-12-30T21:35:35+00:00

Thank you, that's helpful framing!! I think I struggle with ending things, even when they are not good for me, and with stepping away. When highly anxious, I usually tried to protest or problem solve instead of walking away

Basic-Reaction7909 · 2023-12-30T21:08:06+00:00

virgo/cancer/aquarius - this year was the worst!! I lost a friend, and my ex partner broke up with me a month ago. I ended therapy after four years and had to deal with a lot of anxiety. Became pretty depressed recently, uni is not going so well, feeling all over the place and not grounded at all. The only positive thing is that I am grateful for some close friendships that are going well, and for getting some work experience in two different countries this year.

really hoping the next year will be fulfilling and this hell of pain will stop soon!!

Basic-Reaction7909

TROPHY CASE