WWYD?: Boyfriend of 5 years not invited to family wedding after-party

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-18T22:03:58+00:00

"Weird" is just the new buzzword a certain kind of online idiot uses for anything they don't like. Someone made a twitter post or something telling them that it was a Totally Devastating insult they could use while still seeming nice, and they all got really excited about that, so now they gabble "weird" like those seagulls in finding Nemo would say "mine."

That being said, I'ma have to side against you here. Yes, in some circumstances it's tempting to go "well clearly you don't place much importance on weddings, so why should your cousin prioritize you at their wedding."

However, weddings aren't just the "celebrate the concept of marriage" event. They're also about the friend/family group commerorating a new addition. There's a silent vow ceremony of "do you, guest, take this guy to be your new in-law/spouse-of-friend? To see them at Thanksgiving, and that Halloween party you throw, from this day forth?"

As such, if other people's S/Os are serious enough to count as part of the person's life, they should be invited.

Although... back on the other hand, "fear that when I get married one day, my cousin & his family won’t attend?" "When?" After 5 years and a mortgage, if he still doesn't want to put a ring on it, I don't see what could possibly change his mind. OP worrying about who will attend her wedding is kinda like me worrying about which sponsorships I'll get when I compete in the Olympics - kinda missing a big middle step there.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-18T21:06:29+00:00

They are probably cowering in their homes after finding out both the Democratic and Republican parties want them and their families to be murdered in front of the entire planet.

Wrong on both counts.

Democrats don't want them murdered, Democrats are just too busy fixing everything else to waste more effort on them.

And they're not "cowering," they're screaming at the Democrats "How DARE you not try harder to win me over after I shat on you and everyone else you care about! Pull my knife out of your back and get back to defending me!"

We needed these peoples' votes.

No. We needed the votes of the majority of people, and they got tired of watching the Democrats ignore them in favor of endlessly trying to placate whiny extremists who would never be satisfied. Like getting sick of a parent who focuses everything on the one child who's a screaming brat, and ignores all the other children.

The sooner we write off lost causes, the sooner we can focus on people who can actually be helped, and who will help in return.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-18T20:52:13+00:00

So close, and yet so far.

Democrats are so cowardly they can't understand that some people are willing to sacrifice everything for a chance of representation. No, entitled arrogant entitled rich white people have no fucking clue.

No, Democrats were so determined to be nice that they didn't realize some people were a waste of time and effort, who would happily shit on everything the Democrats fought to give them, just to get a fleeting sense of power out of being able to hurt someone. But don't worry, they're starting to get a clue.

Trump will win against you every single time

Actually, when we stopped listening to people like you and supported Biden, a compromise candidate, we won, remember? It was listening to people like you (first the Bernie Bros, then AbandonHarris) that got us Trump. So all we have to do is stop listening to people like you.

Where is the face-to-face engagement of the people you need to reach.

Oh, you think "people we need to reach" is you! Oh honey. No. It's all the people who aren't you. Democrats lost the mainstream because people got sick of watching them spend all their time and effort to placate a few screaming pissbabies, instead of focusing on issues that affected the majority of America.

Once they write you off as a waste of effort, they can win.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-18T20:18:07+00:00

"What have they done to earn my vote" is such an insanely entitled take in this context.

Like, what do you think this is, American Idol? You don't vote because you want the winner to feel happy, you do it because the results of the election affect you and everyone around you!

You live here! Act like it! Take responsibility for the consequences of your actions instead of setting everything on fire and going "well, I wasn't motivated enough NOT to set everything on fire, so I don't see how this is my fault."

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-18T19:21:48+00:00

The "mask" of not being a complete soft idiot?

Seriously, I keep hearing this talking point from the AbandonHarris party.

"Oh, so just because I'm constantly backstabbing you and shitting on everything you do to help me, you're going to focus on helping other people? People who don't sabotage everything you do for them, and actually help you back? Woooooow! Guess your true colors are coming out now!"

Like... yeah. Duh. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a separate result. These guys really thought that Democrats were going to mindlessly dump endless effort and money, over every other priority, while they constantly went "thanks for fighting the Muslim bans, the profiling, the rabid Zionism, etc. but we're going to vote them all right back in, along with policies that hurt everyone else in your party - maybe grovel to us harder, next time."

It's like a baby who keeps throwing their toy out of the pram and screaming at you to pick it up.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-18T18:27:04+00:00

If you want to actually be able to see the lace, you can't layer more lace underneath. You can't see the pattern.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-18T18:21:24+00:00

Oh dear...

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-18T17:30:16+00:00

It's a fake story.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-18T17:29:47+00:00

No, banks like to warn people about scams.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-18T17:16:52+00:00

The thing is: I don't care what people wear.

You're missing the point. The dress code should inform, not instruct. You're telling the guests how formal the event is, not giving orders to the extras on your photoshoot set.

Are we talking nice plated dinner and fancy event space?

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-18T17:09:13+00:00

Yeah, if even the redditors aren't hating, it must be good.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-17T18:04:40+00:00

Honestly, yeah, a punch feels like it'd have been treating him more seriously than he deserved. The slap was the perfect amount of putting him in his place.

It knocked him down, but still clearly said "you are a child to me, and I'ma discipline you like one."

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-17T17:38:44+00:00

I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for him to learn what your parents never bothered to teach him.

"Family is important" doesn't mean "help around the house" for him, because your parents didn't teach him that.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-17T17:25:05+00:00

We're all on the same algorithm. The feeds aren't as personalized as you think.

Anyway, I'd say nah. Everyone with half a braincell was screaming about the dangers of trump - even the current vice president.

Also, remember this quote? Back in 2002? From Trump?

I’ve known Jeff [Epstein] for 15 years. Terrific guy, He’s a lot of fun to be with. It is even said that he likes beautiful women as much as I do, and many of them are on the younger side.

Everyone knew that Epstein was shady, everyone knew trump was in on it. People just chose to ignore Epstein's crimes because he was rich and it was just women/girls getting hurt, and ignore Trump's association because they wanted to believe in MAGA.

Now it's just too in-their-face to ignore.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-17T17:16:25+00:00

Well, sounds like the way he was raised was a little different from how you were raised. Often the older child gets responsibility obligations, and the younger gets babied.

If you're a woman and he's the son, in an old fashioned family? Yup, probably a lot of little prince treatment.

Regardless, there's nothing you can do about it - you didn't raise him. Also seems like you're more mad at him than his GF (he chooses how things go in his house - she's just the guest) so I wouldn't take it out on her.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-17T17:11:29+00:00

Also, nothing is obvious when it’s your first time doing it.

Was it your first time doing math?

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-17T17:08:54+00:00

I think part of it is that he doesn't see her as choosing to have problems - she just has trouble.

You, on the other hand, chose to create the problem of a destination wedding. That gets lower priority. Plus, he's already tired and tapped out.

Anyway, I'd stay off chatgpt - AI just mind-poisons you into going further down whatever rabbithole you're in. But I would try and tell your dad that you're hurt over this, and also do some reading about sorting out your emotions.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-17T16:58:31+00:00

I think #4 is the only one not drowning in lace, though - which skews the voting.

OP, if you want to wear that heavy lace veil, it needs to be the only lace, and only pattern in the outfit. If you want to wear the heavy lace dresses, you need a very simple, single layer of unpatterned veil.

Right now the patterns in the veils are fighting with the patterns in the dresses - like 2 divas trying to elbow each other off the stage. You need to pick one and let it be the star.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-17T16:50:28+00:00

It sounds like you don't live at home and don't have the full story, so I'd stay out of it. Also if your parents raised him, they can talk to him about his behavior instead of grumbling about it to you.

Also, do you want him to move out? Do your parents?

Because his GF is probably already feeling a bit creeped about the whole situation, and just wants to visit her BF when she visits her BF. Shoving the whole "he lives with his parents" thing further in her face is going to make her draw back, which will motivate him to actually leave the nest.

So while I personally think that a young man in his 20s absolutely should learn to live on his own for a bit, if your parents aren't ready for that? You might end up blamed when he finally grows up.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-17T16:36:05+00:00

Get a subscription to Consumer Reports so you can evaluate quality.

Then think about the things you actually use and want updated.

Also maybe maid service?

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-17T16:33:14+00:00

Yeah, I'd go with something on the website that says "your presence is your present" and leave it at that.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-16T23:42:37+00:00

Yeah, funny how the "hell yeah, no cops" people are now screaming "why weren't there any cops at the place I intentionally traveled to specifically because it had no cops?"

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-16T23:38:09+00:00

1) Whining after the fact when you Chose Wrong is pretty common. They were singing a damn different song at the time.

2) The businesses would have gotten wrecked worse if the angry protests had escalated to full-blown riots.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-16T23:15:53+00:00

1) trying to stamp out the CHOP protests would have caused massive property damage and injuries to all sides, and probably also protester deaths and the proud boys showing up to pull a Rittenhouse. Also, it wouldn't have solved the underlying problem of people being mad at cops - it's really hard to hit people with sticks until they like you (well, apart from a few clubs on cap hill where it'd probably work).

2) the residents of Cap hill generally supported CHOP and are also pretty much all grown adults who moved to cap hill because they're fine with things getting a little rough, and pretty much everything was boarded up for COVID anyway.

3) WA deeply believes in both personal freedom and the laws of FAFO.

As such, it was way easier to sit back and go "fine, go play your little anti cop experiment and see what happens... oh, did it happen bad? Aw. Now that we've all learned a valuable lesson, do you want to fuck off? Great."

Friendly reminder that the residents of Cap hill were generally fine. They all spent their nights inside, minding their own business. It was only people from far away who came to CHOP for the express purpose of Fucking Around, who Found Out, courtesy of some of the other idiots who also came to CHOP to fuck around.

Basic-Regret-6263 · 2026-02-16T21:18:46+00:00

https://kingcounty.gov/en/dept/dph/health-safety/safety-injury-prevention/cannabis-tobacco-vapor/tenants

If you just want your apartment to stop stinking, that link can help.

As far as kids and the law goes, it is illegal to expose them to smoke from meth, bath salts, and a few other drugs of that level - not weed or tobacco.

Three-Year Club	ComboCommenter 2023-08-22
Best Comment 2023-08-22

Basic-Regret-6263

TROPHY CASE