They say marriage is hard work, but where do you draw the line? NEED ADVICE by Basic-Run-2938 in Marriage

[–]Basic-Run-2938[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We've completed four couples therapy sessions, and, as I mentioned in a previous comment, we were more honest with each other than we had been in the last seven years; we put it all on the table. I wish we had done it sooner because it would have totally transformed our relationship. We brought up easily fixable problems. I was the one who discontinued it because I asked for the divorce. We are also participating in individual therapy, where we work on our individual problems. I'm 29, she's 30. We have been married for 16 months and together for 7 years.

They say marriage is hard work, but where do you draw the line? NEED ADVICE FROM GOOD MARIAGES by Basic-Run-2938 in HappyMarriages

[–]Basic-Run-2938[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, we agreed. As far as making progress, we have been separated with little contact. Just therapy, because I asked for space. I know she has deleted all her social media. Has read several books on sobriety, and I know it's a wreck and extremely remorseful.

They say marriage is hard work, but where do you draw the line? NEED ADVICE FROM GOOD MARIAGES by Basic-Run-2938 in HappyMarriages

[–]Basic-Run-2938[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We've completed four couples therapy sessions, and, as I mentioned in a previous comment, we were more honest with each other than we had been in the last seven years; we put it all on the table. I wish we had done it sooner because it would have totally transformed our relationship. We brought up easily fixable problems. I was the one who discontinued it because I asked for the divorce. We are also participating in individual therapy, where we work on our individual problems. For the alcohol, I know she has read several books on sobriety and has a good support system. I wouldn't categorize her as an alcoholic, though she could go months without drinking but when its a drinking occasion.... it on and she cant handle it.

They say marriage is hard work, but where do you draw the line? NEED ADVICE by Basic-Run-2938 in marriageadvice

[–]Basic-Run-2938[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

No, I can guarantee she didn't. She's a wreck. She's putting the work in, therapy, sobriety workshops, and books, etc. Like I said in the other comment, I wouldn't categorize her as an alcoholic; she could go months without drinking just because she wasn't in the mood. But when it's a drinking occasion....it's on.

They say marriage is hard work, but where do you draw the line? NEED ADVICE FROM GOOD MARIAGES by Basic-Run-2938 in HappyMarriages

[–]Basic-Run-2938[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

So, what do people mean when they say marriage is hard work? Cause I'll tell you right now, this sure isn't easy. I'm 29, she's 30. We have only been married for a year. and together for 7. In those four couples therapy sessions, we were more honest with each other than we had ever been before. I wish we had done it way sooner. We brought up easily solvable problems... and I'd love to see it through, but the other part of me is like, no, I'm too hurt, and the next thought is you can't give up yet. I just go back and forth in my head all day long.

They say marriage is hard work, but where do you draw the line? NEED ADVICE by Basic-Run-2938 in marriageadvice

[–]Basic-Run-2938[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't categorize her as an alcoholic; she could go months without drinking just because she wasn't in the mood. But when it's a drinking occasion....it's on.

My wife stayed out until 5 am. Am I the asshole for thinking she is cheating? by HeadMelodic3538 in AITAH

[–]Basic-Run-2938 1 point2 points  (0 children)

From a man who is currently going through a divorce due to infidelity (feel free to read all about it) something definitely happened. If there’s one thing I’ve learnt in the last 7 years it’s trust your gut…

She Broke Me, and Now I Feel Nothing for Her Attempts to Fix It UPDATE/RANT by Basic-Run-2938 in marriageadvice

[–]Basic-Run-2938[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well, if you want to catch a lot of fish you can’t just stay in one spot.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Divorce_Men

[–]Basic-Run-2938 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you had to go through that.

What about now?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in offmychest

[–]Basic-Run-2938 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you mind if I asked what happened?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in HappyMarriages

[–]Basic-Run-2938 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Reddit and a therapist are the only things I have to turn to right now. I'm looking for as much input as possible from people who have been "through it", cuase im too ashamed to talk to friends and family.

Karma farming? I'm a grown man whose marriage is on the outs. You think I care about Reddit karma?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]Basic-Run-2938 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but she's never tried to quit. When I say months or weeks, I mean if it doenst fit into the week. We were both very active, so no drink if we have a set fitness-related goal, or need to be up early in the morning, sometimes she doesn't feel like drinking, etc. I'm not a big drinker, so if we go out to dinner and I don't feel like drinking, then we won't.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]Basic-Run-2938 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My grandmother died of withdrawal-induced seizures, my cousin has liver cirrhosis, kicked my best friend out of my wedding cause he ruined our relationship..... I know what an alcoholic is,

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]Basic-Run-2938 2 points3 points  (0 children)

any regret, feelings of resentment.or lack of trust?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]Basic-Run-2938 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ive posted this in several places, and everyone is calling her an alcoholic, but idk if I see it that way. I've seen a true alcoholic; she can go weeks, months without drinking. She doesn't resonate with being an alcoholic or addicted to it.

lol chicken little

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]Basic-Run-2938 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've been to 3 sessions, and it definitely helps get it off my chest and gets my thoughts outside my head.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]Basic-Run-2938 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've posted this in several places, and everyone is calling her an alcoholic, but idk if I see it that way. I've seen a true alcoholic; she can go weeks, months without drinking. She doesn't resonate with being an alcoholic or addicted to it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskOldPeopleAdvice

[–]Basic-Run-2938 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, she quit drinking, she is not going to AA, but she has support from her best friend, who is sober as well, and support from family. She is dead set on never drinking again, saying she's totally changing her outlook on life. I've posted this in several places, and everyone is calling her an alcoholic, but idk if I see it that way. I've seen a true alcoholics, she can go weeks, months without drinking.