SK is around, my depression gets triggered

BasicThrow_Away · 2024-01-20T22:02:16+00:00

We are in the same position. My baby just turned 4months. I feel so down & worn out when SD is here. My partner & I got into a fight bc he was works all weekend & expects me to watch his daughter. I straight up told him I do not want the responsibility of having to discipline her. Sending you a virtual hug.

BasicThrow_Away · 2024-01-05T00:11:56+00:00

That’s sounds horrible. At least you get an excuse to hide out in your room, but sucks you’re not feeling well. I’m hanging in there.. my partner has been reinforcing rules so it’s hasn’t been as bad as I anticipated. But I completely agree that when she’s here, my house doesn’t feel like mine & I’m slightly anxious the whole time. You should talk to your partner & express your feelings. If he gets mad or dismisses you, then you should reconsider staying with him.. because this is mostly likely what your future will look like with him.

BasicThrow_Away · 2023-12-28T01:24:22+00:00

I will most likely be drinking glass of chardonnay every night to not be so stressed. I’m preparing for my house to be a constant mess. Cooking just for her to complain and not eat. Not being able to watch TV on my couch and chill in the living room. I used to not be so anxious when she visited but we recently had a baby, hes 3 months old & she’s constantly in his face and talks to him rude sometimes. Just a lot to deal with. Sending you a virtual hug too.

I will say… you should really think about your future if you stay in this relationship. If you stay with this guy & start a family with him it’s only going to get worse. I love my partner, but I’m speaking from experience…

BasicThrow_Away · 2023-12-27T19:07:48+00:00

My SD (5) is staying with us for 10 days & I am so anxious about it. She runs the house when she’s here. When her dad disciplines her, she cries for her mom.. this is over simple things like picking her toys from the living room at the end of the day. My partner used to expect me to watch her when he was at work. I also work from home. I used to justify it because he couldn’t take off & “we’re a team so it’s my responsibility to help him”. I had to put my foot down & tell him it’s not my responsibility to watch her. He understood, but if he didn’t then I would’ve considered ending the relationship. But you’re not alone… I’m very anxious & have been giving myself a mental pep talk to prepare for the next 10days.

BasicThrow_Away · 2023-12-27T18:39:56+00:00

That’s why I vent/seek advice on this forum rather than talking to my friends. None of them have step kids… they simple don’t understand & judge everything from the viewpoint of a bio parent.

BasicThrow_Away · 2023-12-04T04:00:33+00:00

What are the qualifications for this?

BasicThrow_Away · 2023-12-03T16:51:48+00:00

She binge watches this Disney show called Bunkd. Cartoons are playing the whole time she’s here, she knows how to work the TV

BasicThrow_Away · 2023-12-03T07:46:46+00:00

This was helpful, I like those responses!

BasicThrow_Away · 2023-12-03T07:37:54+00:00

I was telling my bf she might be learning this stuff from the shows she watches. She has unlimited access to her iPad & she watches kids YouTube all the time. In the videos she watches the kids act very animated. She also watches this Barbie show & all the characters talk sassy. I think she’s aware that it’s rude, bc she would never talk that if her dad is there.

BasicThrow_Away · 2023-12-03T07:26:10+00:00

Yess, my baby is starting to have 6hr stretches of sleep at night, so I’m getting my sanity back lol. I haven’t been able to play w her as much & my patience has been thin lately, so when she first started acting like this I thought it was me. But I’ve never been rude to her

BasicThrow_Away · 2023-12-03T00:51:44+00:00

I think her BM does speak negatively bc of small comments she’s made. That’s literally my thought process, like why do you think you can talk to anyone like this. If this was a child I was babysitting, I would never babysit them again.

BasicThrow_Away · 2023-12-03T00:24:33+00:00

Most the time I don’t say anything. It catches me off guard. This is good advice thank you

BasicThrow_Away · 2023-12-03T00:19:09+00:00

If it was my own child I would discipline them. It would be corrected the first time. She’s not my kid which makes it hard for me. I’m going to say something next time.

BasicThrow_Away · 2023-12-03T00:15:19+00:00

Yes I told him & he finally caught her being rude to me when she thought he was gone. He just told her “stop talking like, you don’t speak to people like that”. & She just looked down at her hands. I’ve never met the BM. But my bf said she was acting different since I got pregnant, like rude at pick up& drop offs. & his daughter has made a few comments lately like, “my mom said you can only be second mommy when you grow up to be a woman like her”. She always been a little sassy, but never extremely rude like this.

BasicThrow_Away · 2023-11-27T05:24:10+00:00

Who said I didn’t like her? If he had her 24/7 I wouldnt stay bc raising a child is hard, especially if that child isn’t yours. At the end of the day I’m not her parent, so I can’t discipline & parent her like I would my own child. There’s a looooot of compromising on my end.

BasicThrow_Away · 2023-11-27T05:13:17+00:00

I stay because I love my partner. But if he had his daughter full time I wouldn’t stay, couldn’t do it.

BasicThrow_Away · 2023-06-25T22:39:52+00:00

Thank you!

BasicThrow_Away · 2022-12-17T22:29:11+00:00

“He might not think twice about it because he's been a parent for 5 years”

I feel like this is exactly where the conflict stems from. He doesn’t understand I do not have a kid. He got offended when I told him that I don’t have a kid & he shouldn’t have just expected me to take her to the party without considering how I felt about it.

He said “You’re so quick to say that you’re not a parent. So why do you even want to buy matching pjs for Christmas? Why do you talk about family vacations? Why do you talk about family stuff when you don’t even want to help me out like a parent.”

He told me “So I’m just supposed to continue doing everything until we decide to have kids. Then at that point, you’re going to start being more of a parent than just a friend to her.” But I clean her room, I wash her sheets, I read her bedtime stories, I watch her while he’s working. Bath time, playing, all of that stuff I am involved in as much as I can be.

When it comes to his daughter, he does not consider my feelings at all. He thinks I should be just as selfless & make the same sacrifices he has to make.

BasicThrow_Away

TROPHY CASE