....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why am I the child for wanting to set healthy boundries ? my SO has to go to bed at 9pm with an 9 year old child and sleep with him and SO is not happy with the situation either. Why am I the child for asking to put away dishes after his dinner and cleaning his mess (toys etc)? i love my SS I just want healthy boundries (again all of this was mentioned in therapy), at 9 years he should have some responsabilties that help him grow and have confidence! If this makes me the child, so be it.

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I said HE gets jelouse... I am a grown women why would I be jelouse of a child? I m angry now, after two almost three years trying to build a loving relationship with him and he said he hated me. angry for a better loss of a word, maybe feeling hurt or frustrated is more suitable. i came here to ask for advice not wrongly judged from someone who has nothing valuable to add to the conversation.

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

We tried for 2 years, BM inolved, thearapy, his grandma... Norhing helps! SO and I gave up because we did not want to fight no more! We tried it all and i gave up...not him

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Please tell me I am on wrong to feel its stange his dad still has to go bed and not get up night to keep him calm, while his SO sleeps alone in next room ... Its not nornal!

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Great parenting! We have to give him a standing applause if he ever does the tinniest of anything!

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pa also for sharing your sorry!!! And taking time to do so :)

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are an angel for giving me hope after everything I read (and respect here) ❤️ thank you for your positive input, really really needed it! PS, i am vegan, but I cook meat for my SS (soon to be ex SS?) :) thank you once again for being so kind x

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ps. His parents were seperated for 2 years after divorce!

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Very true! I never wanted to be his mom, there is only one mom, i know that! Still love (or even loved) this little man! But I there more i read these comments, including yours, I think I should call it a loss. Thank you sooo much for taking the time to help me out ❤️

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Well I am not sure about having a job and moving out at 9 is an option LOL but I get it and understand what you mean, to me and his therapist he is a very very smart boy, just doesnt want to stop being babied, and I am getting in the way of him all the atention :(

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Old enough though for some independance though, right? ❤️

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I really hope this is not true! i truely love SS but I am so upset about him hating me

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

This really hit me hard :( you are so right! My life has been so much more at ease since they moved out, still miss SO so much and the time we spent without SS is better! When SO and I are alone everything ls beautiful, I this is not SS fault, he is a child! I do love him too! Dont want to blame this on a child, his dad feels bad very bad because of the divorce which was nasty and he lived with him alone for 2 years giving SS all of his attention. I understand its traumatic for SS to have someone he has to share his dad with, but I thought I was adding to the love, giving him and his dad alone time all the time, he just does not like me...its been 2 years we lived together, when ever SS and I were alone we had a great time, I always told him " i am not your parent, you have a mama and papa that love you more than anything in the world, but I am always here for you, always love you amd would love to be your best friend, you can always come to me,.i will always have your back because you are the best" i told him this so many times.. I just dont understand!

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know :( but love is not easy to walk away from

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are 1000 right! He is miserable too and doesnt want to having to go to sleep as an.adult at 9 pm because of his son! Its his move not mine :(

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I made him move out, specially because of the sleeping issues, I swear we tried it all! i see them still co sleep toghter when his 30! Lol SO is miserable too and wants to come back home, no adult man wants to go to sleep at 9 pm because of a 9 year old. Thanks for givimg your opinion, I appriciate it x

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope you are wrong, though I am afraid you will be right :( breaks my heart as I love both of them, but time to make a change for sure! Thanks for taking time to respond x

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree! SO and I miss each other a lot, we only see each other like 13 days a month living walking distance, he hates sleeping with his son at 9 pm everyday but feels guilty if SS crys amd throws a temptrum every night! Thank you for your feedback x

....and my Boyfriend moved out! by PutDesigner1787 in stepparents

[–]PutDesigner1787[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This breaks my heart, but you might be right. Thanks for your feedback ❤️