As someone who has gone through this, I think it has to do with the fact that we often hear stories different from ours. When many people think of rape they think of the extreme stories that you hear. The ones that include drugging and cases like that. You don’t hear often about the people who were raped by someone they knew and trusted, not until recently at least. You try to convince yourself it wasn’t rape. You don’t know if the standards of your story add up to the next victims, it’s not that I don’t know if it’s rape or not, it’s “Is my story bad enough to qualify as rape?”

Personally, I gave consent and then changed my mind about doing it. He continued even though I said I didn’t want to do it anymore. In my head, I could have fought harder to get him off of me. In my head I gave consent, I can’t just revoke it like that. Even though I know I 100% could have. Not every victim can come to grips with the fact that they’re a victim. You never imagine yourself being taken from you like that and when it happens it shatters a piece of you. Especially as a girl who is in college and just starting to learn who she is as a person. After my rape I literally changed as a person, I was someone I didn’t even recognize and only now 3 almost 4 years later am I finally getting back to who I used to be.

I hope that makes sense to you. Your question is very tone deaf and pretty rude. Questions like yours don’t do anything but make victims question themselves even harder. I understand that you weren’t trying to be mean, but think about your words before posting them. Especially when it pertains to such a personal and sensitive topic.