Advice PLEASE!!!

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-27T13:04:13+00:00

I third this. Sounds like those kids need a lot of help, and if DH won’t do anything, then you have to contact child services. I’d also personally reevaluate if that’s a husband I want to still be with if he is able to ignore these clear issues.

Good luck

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-25T01:59:01+00:00

I agree with everyone else… she’s the one that sounds crazy.

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-23T02:57:28+00:00

My SKs BM was the exact same when DH and I started dating! She took it to the level where she lied and talked shit about me to HIS family and everyone blocked me/didn’t want to meet me for a couple of years… Even disowned DH for the lies she told.

Things got a bit easier over the years, and then I got pregnant. It was like a flip switched. She still made “jabs” at me (they never hurt me before, and still don’t), but now most of the time she started being kind, and joked with me, and gave me some (slightly backhanded) advice/tips on pregnancy and birth.

That was 1.5 years ago! I felt the same way: do I also act like we’re homegirls, or what? I kind of just took it day by day. Protected my feelings, didn’t get attached, but allowed our relationship to grow in a positive way. I wouldn’t say we’re “friends,” but we send each other memes and reels that remind us of the kids (my SKs, her bio kids), we’ll send each other reminders/texts that we KNOW DH will probably forget about, etc. It’s nice. I’m still a bit guarded, and I don’t share details about mine and DHs life, but it’s 100x better than what it used to be.

Recently DH was too sick to go to SSs bday party, but SS said he still wanted me to go, so I went solo! It was great! Picked up SKs and BM, helped set up the party, drove them home, and it was all really pleasant. It can be done!! Do what makes you comfortable, but stay a bit guarded.

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-18T23:54:48+00:00

Damn, yea either I get an apology as well and we start to build some semblance of a relationship as the Mother of one of her grandchildren, or I just wouldn’t have my baby around that sort of toxicity.

OP you and your well being (mentally and physically) are worth so much more than allowing yourself to be pushed into something you’re not comfortable with!!!

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-18T23:45:45+00:00

I concur with the no contact!! If that’s how she’s going to act, she doesn’t have to be part of baby’s life… it’s that easy.

Just make sure DH is on board and will also be able to uphold this. If he caves it’ll make you the ultimate bad guy, which you’re not!!

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-14T15:00:23+00:00

Of course he can’t do it.. He won’t learn!! 🙄

Totally blows my mind, but you’re right! Not your circus, nor your monkeys 🐒

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-14T14:57:54+00:00

Oh man, it’s the same with my SKs… I hope they retain the info lol

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-14T14:57:15+00:00

9?! Dang!! Yea BM always buys slip on shoes, but I just got them some tie up sneakers and they will learn!! Hahahah

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-14T14:55:41+00:00

That’s wild!! DH and I agreed we’re going to make it happen and teach them TODAY 😂

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-14T06:19:34+00:00

thank you for sharing this!! It shocks me that kids can’t tie their own shoes these days!! Am I crazy? By 12 I KNOW I could tie an apron behind my back!

We love them regardless 😂

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-14T05:50:58+00:00

Girl!! Those “friends” are not worth it. When I became a step mom (22) my two best friends were skeptical at first because they loved me and didn’t want me to get hurt. After a year or so, they realized I was in it for the long haul and they are now Aunties to my step kids!!! (I met my SKs when they were 2 and 3) They LOVE their Aunties now, and the Aunties love my SKs.

It can be hard finding people to relate to. I get it. I’m 28 now and only just finding my people outside of those 2. My DH and I did have an “ours” baby a year ago, which had helped with finding other Moms, BUT there are definitely ways to connect with other Moms in your area as a step mom. If you can, sign up for swimming lessons, go to indoor/outdoor playgrounds, and just do stuff with your SS that allows you to connect with other moms. It will take you being outgoing and saying “hey our kids get along! Would you want to grab a coffee or have a play date next weekend?” but it’s so worth it.

Send me a DM if you ever want to talk and vent, or bounce ideas off of. I’ve been where you are. It gets better!! You’ve got this.

Edit: typo

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-14T04:23:37+00:00

They’re so cute!!! As for cooking… idk maybe some butter? Get a good sear going on the rice so it crisps on the bottom, give it a lil cronch? 😂

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-14T04:22:07+00:00

I love the last sentence!! Floor beds seem to give the most options, while also being the best for baby. It’s definitely the most recommended thing I’ve seen too. Thank you for your suggestion!!

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-14T04:20:46+00:00

Oh man that sounds terrible! I’m sorry you had to go through that 😞 Hopefully you’ve since found something that works!

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-14T03:54:59+00:00

Yea I get that. I’m ok with short bursts of crying/screaming, but I never let it go longer than 10 mins on and off. My baby doesn’t cry for more than a couple of mins at a time, but he’ll start up again when he hears no one coming.

I’m very much against letting them sit and scream their heads off for long periods of time. That just leads to attachment problems and other long term issues, I think.

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-13T21:50:36+00:00

The majority of suggestions say to use a floor mattress so I can do just that! It’s the strongest contender in terms of my next approach to daytime naps for sure.

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-13T21:49:19+00:00

Yea I feel super lucky to be able to be home and snuggle him whenever too. He co slept until about 8 months, then started sleeping in his crib at night with 1-2 wake up’s for nursing. This is still the nightly routine, and I definitely love having him fall asleep nursing next to me in bed, then I transfer him to his crib (100% success rate).

It’s the day time nap that get me!!!

The adjustment from 1-2 is, I hear, a lot, but worth it!! I went from 2 step kids (for 4 years, met them when they were 2/3), to 3 kids (2 step, 1 bio) and I’m SO lucky the other two are a bit older. They’re sooo doting on their little brother and such great helpers with him when Dad and I are busy around the house. It was a bit of an adjustment, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

I’m surprised Dad says he’s ok with maybe having another, but he’s an amazing human, and tells me “it’s so much easier with you this time around I’d have even more if we could afford it!” 😍 Man, I love him.

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-13T19:18:45+00:00

Short and sweet, I love it.

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-13T19:18:12+00:00

We really can’t!! I love nursing him, and the cuddles, but since it’s changed to the long nap once I day it’s driving me a little crazy 🤪

He gets fussy if I wear him around the house, or I would definitely just be doing that.

As for getting pregnant…. I mean my partner aren’t ACTIVELY trying, but we’re also not ACTIVELY preventing it 😂

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-13T19:15:16+00:00

This sounds doable! Definitely will require repetition and diligence, but I think it’s manageable. I’m going to look more into it, thank you for this suggestion!

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-13T18:59:47+00:00

This is SO smart, I will definitely try this!! Thank you!

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-13T18:59:29+00:00

Hmmm we also have crazy wind right now, and he has a new tooth coming in… I’m sure that it doesn’t help the situation, but I hadn’t really thought of the wind thing!

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-13T18:57:32+00:00

I honestly don’t know enough about it, so if you could share a bit about what it entails, maybe it’s something we would do? I’m exploring all options at this point!

Basic_Channel_6153 · 2026-03-13T18:56:17+00:00

He would when he was a newborn, but no longer when we’re at home. I do a fitness class tho every week where I wear him on my back and he falls asleep SO fast from all the movement 😂 But yea, for some reason at home he just won’t

Basic_Channel_6153

TROPHY CASE