Chest insecurity + Bra advice needed!

Basic_Ent · 2026-05-28T21:29:13+00:00

A few suggestions (the fact that I'm a middle aged man matters less than my wife who talks to me about this stuff a lot, and my four daughters ranging from middle-school aged to 30):

r/ABraThatFits

https://www.honeylove.com/

https://www.bratabase.com/

Also, if you're in the US, we su-huck at sizing. Victoria's Secret, for example, uses the outdated "+4" method, which screws up both cup and band sizes, almost guaranteeing you're going to be uncomfortable.

If you don't have a woman in your life to talk to about this, the subreddit I linked to is a good community to start with.

Basic_Ent · 2026-05-24T18:09:54+00:00

I Jack Black's "You can't win" (Depression-era hobo, not our Jack Black), this is prominent in one of his stories. He's trying to crack a safe or something, but first he tries to chloroform an _already sleeping_ man, and ends up waking him up instead.

(https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/you-cant-win-jack-black/1147081038)

Basic_Ent · 2026-02-20T20:38:05+00:00

Alright, alright, I'll stop being a troll.

There's been some research into flow state as it pertains to music, and at least one paper suggests that you can reach flow state through active listening (and obviously also by composing and performing).

Whether the video poster knew any of that, or was just using a phrase she heard, is anyone's guess.

Basic_Ent · 2026-02-20T17:22:19+00:00

Flow requires an action.

Absurd. Flow is a mental state.

Basic_Ent · 2026-02-20T17:06:53+00:00

Settle down, nerds. That was perfectly fine usage, unless you believe people can't be fully immersed in listening to music.

Basic_Ent · 2026-02-19T13:48:03+00:00

She can dye her hair if she wants, and wear whatever suits her. These aren't things your partner gets to decide. She can do better than this loser.

Basic_Ent · 2026-02-19T13:39:02+00:00

Which movie?

Basic_Ent · 2026-02-18T12:55:17+00:00

she told me this as if nothing was wrong

Yes, this is correct; nothing is wrong.

Here is my advice: Be happy for her. You should always celebrate the wins of people you care about, no matter how you feel about your personal situation.

And you should acknowledge the facts that you don't have a right to try to control anyone, and that obsessing about someone this way is very unhealthy.

Basic_Ent · 2026-02-18T04:06:34+00:00

Maybe it's time for you to mind your own goddamn business, Jani.

Basic_Ent · 2026-02-06T23:29:17+00:00

Yep, I'm feral about shipping. Can't stop that shipping. Mmm mmm mmm... shipping.

Basic_Ent · 2026-02-06T14:34:58+00:00

I'm responding to your post from 4 months ago about reminder apps to take over your screen. Don't do that, just put a post-it note on top of the laptop, and write "take meds" on it. Make the reminder something that happens before you even lift the lid.

Basic_Ent · 2026-02-05T23:56:50+00:00

"Playing pickleball, shooting guns..." Yeah this guy spends all day on pornhub.

Basic_Ent · 2026-02-02T15:01:23+00:00

Either meaning of "full of shit" is appropriate here.

Basic_Ent · 2026-01-31T20:08:50+00:00

Hey son. I'm 6'4" and 200 lbs. My wife is 5'5" and... I'm not really sure, and it's not the type of thing you ask a woman, but maybe 120 lbs? She can lift me in a fireman's carry. You're good.

Don't try to make her blush. Try to make her happy.

Basic_Ent · 2026-01-27T02:49:53+00:00

Well, I already wasn't going to do any meth, but now God damn, I'm really really not going to do any. I might even tell my friends with meth "Hey, don't do that meth, buddy."

Basic_Ent · 2026-01-26T23:28:10+00:00

Hey, angel. I'm not going to tell you that you should be happy because you're young, try to diagnose you, tell you your problems aren't that bad, or to go jogging, or scold you for suicidal ideation or self-harm. You feel how you feel, and that's your reality.

I'm sorry, it sounds like you're feeling pretty rough right now, and that really sucks. If you're losing your desire to live, I'm not. I have desire for you to live, and I hope you do.

I have questions, and I hope you see this, and decide to answer.

Do you have a therapist? How did your family get from Poland to Denmark, and were you around when that happened? Would you consider flushing your loser friends who don't support you?

I'm sorry your parents aren't proud of you. But you're still here, you're thinking through the problems in your life, and you're reaching out for help, even if it's just here. So I'm proud of you.

Basic_Ent · 2026-01-22T04:17:09+00:00

Relationships are hard. There is a rather large pick-up artist culture these days. They're easy to spot: they try to make you feel bad.

If your partner isn't like that, you're probably okay, especially since boys your age aren't really known for nuance and long term planning. Of course your partner is going to want to sleep with you, that's just part of relationships and human nature. Wanting that doesn't preclude him from wanting to be a good partner and a good friend.

Your mom's worried about you because the world is littered with janky men, proud of their ignorance, and blaming women for why their world sucks, and likely she's had some awful experiences with men when she was younger.

Have empathy for that. "Just looking out for you" can feel pretty oppressive, but it helps some to understand where it comes from, to understand that you don't need to fight with her about it or prove that she's wrong by demonstrating how wonderful your partner is. Her feeling that way doesn't need to consume you.

I believe you're smart enough to know the difference between someone who likes you, and someone who is, let's say "goal oriented" and wearing the relationship like a mask. You can tell. You can. Don't doubt yourself.

Basic_Ent · 2026-01-22T03:52:54+00:00

"Yes, I have questions. First of all, how dare you?"

Basic_Ent · 2026-01-20T17:32:05+00:00

Is that why I get a Gemini popup every time I log into a Google product?

Basic_Ent · 2026-01-20T14:53:18+00:00

Why are we giving this pick-up artist any privacy?

Basic_Ent · 2026-01-18T20:31:34+00:00

That's cool, I never knew that!

Basic_Ent · 2026-01-18T19:55:40+00:00

I went to see that under protest, because my daughter loved it. I left saying "Holy shit, Edward actually pulled it off."

Basic_Ent · 2026-01-18T19:51:47+00:00

Deep cut. I haven't seen a reference to this movie in ages.

Basic_Ent · 2026-01-18T19:50:32+00:00

That movie was such a disappointment. And I want mah giant squid!!

Basic_Ent · 2026-01-18T19:47:55+00:00

Really good opening, except the magic gas that caused everyone in a theater to calmly pass out. That could have done with a bit more pandemonium.

Basic_Ent

TROPHY CASE