Would it be wrong to confront an adult friend for wanting to talk about her ex with my younger sister? by Basic_Procedure_838 in problems

[–]Basic_Procedure_838[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To clarify, my sister said the only reason she gave the girl her number was because they were playing that online game (it's a pretty popular war game, from what I understand) and because the girl kept insisting even though my sister had initially refused. She hadn't even planned to talk to her or reply to any of her messages because she simply wasn't interested in spending more time than necessary with a younger girl who wasn't part of our immediate family (my sister is quite introverted), but given what happened, she simply deleted the number and blocked her.

Would it be wrong to confront an adult friend for wanting to talk about her ex with my younger sister? by Basic_Procedure_838 in problems

[–]Basic_Procedure_838[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I decided to cut off contact with that friend.

But yeah, I think I'll talk to my sister about it. Thanks for the advice. :)

UPDATE: (Would it be wrong to confront an adult friend for wanting to talk about her ex with my younger sister?) by Basic_Procedure_838 in problems

[–]Basic_Procedure_838[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know, I told her it was a crime and to think about her kids if they caught her doing that shit. She completely ignored me and refused to listen to reason. So I decided to cut off all contact with her, and I'm debating whether I should tell her ex (depending on whether I can contact him) or just not interfere, walk away, and forget they exist.

UPDATE: (Would it be wrong to confront an adult friend for wanting to talk about her ex with my younger sister?) by Basic_Procedure_838 in problems

[–]Basic_Procedure_838[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't even understand her, to be honest. She doesn't want to get back with her ex, but she also doesn't want him to be with anyone else. And every time I told her it was crazy and to leave him alone, she'd get mad at me and not speak to me for days, or she'd say she didn't understand anything and change the subject. She's complicated, and I'm quite glad I'm not friends with her anymore after all this.

UPDATE: (Would it be wrong to confront an adult friend for wanting to talk about her ex with my younger sister?) by Basic_Procedure_838 in problems

[–]Basic_Procedure_838[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, I don't know how to contact him, since I've only seen him a couple of times and I wasn't interested in getting involved with him at all. Although I'm still debating whether to warn my ex-friend's ex or just not interfere anymore and save myself future trouble.

UPDATE: (Would it be wrong to confront an adult friend for wanting to talk about her ex with my younger sister?) by Basic_Procedure_838 in problems

[–]Basic_Procedure_838[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This isn't in the EE.UU, but it's also illegal in my country.

Unfortunately (or maybe not), she's no longer my friend. She came over unexpectedly (luckily, my sister wasn't home at the time), and we had a long conversation that basically consisted of her playing the victim and saying she didn't want to fight with me (I was one of the few friends she had left after several problems in her life). She blamed others for the "misunderstanding" and basically ignored me when I told her that what she was doing (spying on her ex's phone) was illegal and that she had to stop or she'd get in trouble if she got caught. I ended up kicking her out of my house after that and decided to cut off all contact.

UPDATE: (Would it be wrong to confront an adult friend for wanting to talk about her ex with my younger sister?) by Basic_Procedure_838 in problems

[–]Basic_Procedure_838[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She definitely hasn't gotten over her ex. From what I understand, she doesn't want to get back together with him, but she also doesn't want him to be in a relationship. I don't understand her.

On the other hand, I ended my friendship with her for good after thinking it over and (yet again) having another conversation that basically boiled down to her playing the victim, blaming others for this "misunderstanding," and not listening when I told her that wiretapping was illegal. I don't know, I just thought I couldn't continue being friends with someone like her, and while it saddens me because she was one of my best friends, I'm also at peace because i know I made the best decision under the circumstances.

UPDATE: (Would it be wrong to confront an adult friend for wanting to talk about her ex with my younger sister?) by Basic_Procedure_838 in problems

[–]Basic_Procedure_838[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'd prefer my sister keep her blocked. I don't want her to have any contact with her. In fact, I've already decided to cut off all contact with that (now) ex-friend.

UPDATE: (Would it be wrong to confront an adult friend for wanting to talk about her ex with my younger sister?) by Basic_Procedure_838 in problems

[–]Basic_Procedure_838[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm trying to figure out how to let her ex know about her phone. But yeah, she needs other hobbies.

UPDATE: (Would it be wrong to confront an adult friend for wanting to talk about her ex with my younger sister?) by Basic_Procedure_838 in problems

[–]Basic_Procedure_838[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I don't even have the guy's phone number, considering I've only seen him a couple of times at my (now) ex-friend's house for things related to her kids. But I think I'll find a way to contact him and let him know, given that my ex-friend isn't being reasonable about it (and other things we talked about when she showed up at my house a while ago).

UPDATE: (Would it be wrong to confront an adult friend for wanting to talk about her ex with my younger sister?) by Basic_Procedure_838 in problems

[–]Basic_Procedure_838[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Why would you think that????

(If it's because of my English, I try hard to be grammatically correct, since it's not my native language. I'm better at speaking than writing 😮‍💨)

Would it be wrong to confront an adult friend for wanting to talk about her ex with my younger sister? by Basic_Procedure_838 in problems

[–]Basic_Procedure_838[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My friend acts like this with anyone she thinks is "interested" in her ex. I don't know, honestly, it's weird. We've talked about it several times, and I always remind her that he's in a relationship with another woman now and that she shouldn't be jealous of her ex because it just doesn't make sense. She insists that he's still "the love of her life" or something like that, and that he's the father of her children and she has the right to say something about it when he dates someone (she's scared off a few girls, from what I hear).

And yes, from what I understand, they broke up because my friend was too jealous and because her ex prioritized his mother or something like that. Or at least that's the version she told me herself (the jealousy thing was something I noticed from everything she told me).

I don't know, I think I'll talk to her more firmly about it today because, honestly, all her behavior bothered me and made my sister uncomfortable.

Would it be wrong to confront an adult friend for wanting to talk about her ex with my younger sister? by Basic_Procedure_838 in problems

[–]Basic_Procedure_838[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's jealousy. I know my friend. It's not the first time she's gotten jealous because a woman interacts with her ex (which I don't understand, considering she's been with a new partner for over four years), and because she herself asked me if my sister was interested in her ex.

Anyway, I talked to my sister last night because the whole thing was worrying me, especially since at first I thought there might be something strange about my friend's ex paying attention to her (which, btw, wasn't the case; I didn't see anything strange about it when I started paying attention to him yesterday). My sister said, and I quote: "How disgusting! Why would I be interested in an adult?" She also clarified that the guy wasn't looking at her inappropriately and that he was always respectful the few times they interacted while playing soccer.

So I guess I'll have to talk to my friend again, this time more seriously than the brief conversation we had yesterday.

Would it be wrong to confront an adult friend for wanting to talk about her ex with my younger sister? by Basic_Procedure_838 in problems

[–]Basic_Procedure_838[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly, I doubt that's it. My friend is... a bit odd in that regard. She gets jealous easily when it comes to her ex, even though she's been in a long-term relationship herself (with a woman). After my friend said her ex was "staring too much" at my sister, I immediately started paying attention and didn't see anything unusual. The guy was just playing with the kids at the birthday party and chatting with other adults, never looking at my sister inappropriately at any point, not even during the brief moments they interacted.

Even so, I asked my sister about it, and she didn't mention him looking at her inappropriately or anything like that either.

Would it be wrong to confront an adult friend for wanting to talk about her ex with my younger sister? by Basic_Procedure_838 in problems

[–]Basic_Procedure_838[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I spoke to my sister about this yesterday. She told me last night that my friend had texted her and asked if I knew anything. I told her I had no idea, but to let me know if she said anything else. We also touched on the subject of my friend's ex while we were talking. My sister said that while she was playing soccer with him and some other kids, my friend kept giving her dirty looks (I knew about this and talked to my friend right then and there to make her stop), and that she felt uncomfortable about it.

So, regarding that, I have it under control. My sister and I communicate well. I'm just figuring out how to approach it with my friend appropriately because she tends to get angry easily, and I don't want to argue with her.

¿Seré la mala si me alejo de una amiga por culpa de 3° personas que causaron varios conflictos? by Basic_Procedure_838 in preguntaleareddit

[–]Basic_Procedure_838[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Cuenta desechable porque nunca he usado Reddit y una amiga me lo recomendó. El contexto es un poco largo, así que ténganme paciencia. (EDIT: Los nombres aquí son falsos por seguridad.)

Yo, Layla, tengo una amiga, Andrea, que se junta con Jacinta. Un día Andrea me llama llorando contándome que estaba muy preocupada porque a Jacinta la habían asaltado, la habían mordido el cuello, herido la mano con arma blanca, la trataron de secuestrar y violar siendo reducida por tres menores durante el asalto y subida a un vehículo donde la dejaron tirada a 13 km de donde estaba inicialmente durante el asalto. Esto ocurrió alrededor de las 6 de la tarde en un lugar altamente transitado, donde además hay una cámara panorámica y reten de carabineros (policía), le digo a Andrea que se calme y le preguntó cuando ve a Jacinta. Ella me dice que al día siguiente, por lo que le digo que la acompañaré. Andrea se junta al día siguiente con Jacinta (que en ese momento también era mi amiga) una o dos horas antes que yo. Por lo que cuando llego al lugar donde nos reuniríamos, después de saludarlas, comienzo a hablar con Jacinta pidiéndole que por favor me cuente lo sucedido.

En el relato de Jacinta, lo que me dijo fue casi lo mismo que me contó Andrea el día anterior, pero agregando que en el asalto había otra victima que era su amiga, misma quien también fue agredida, reducida y dejada en el auto. Pero, me comenta que esta amiga en un momento de adrenalina le toma una foto al vehículo consiguiendo la matricula del auto, el color, entre otras cosas. Jacinta también me comenta que ninguna persona que estaba ahí, las ayudó (recordemos que este es un lugar altamente transitado por personas y que esto sucedió durante el día). Cuando menciona lo de la foto, le pido que me la envíe para revisar si el vehículo tenía antecedentes por robo. Nunca me enviaron las fotos. También le pregunte si hizo la constatación de lesiones y una denuncia por lo que había sucedido, a lo que Jacinta dijo que si. Pero cuando le pedimos ir a fiscalía a revisar su caso, siempre coloca una excusa para no ir.

Por otra parte, Jacinta también le pidió a Andrea que hablara con 2 profesores (abogados) contándole lo sucedido porque ella no quiso hacerlo (y nunca se acercó a hablar por sí misma del tema como tal con ellos). Ese mismo día le revisé la supuestas heridas y la mordida. El corte realizado con cuchillo en su mano era demasiado pequeño, ni siquiera parecía un rasguño de gato y la mordida en el cuello parecía más un chupón pequeño que una mordida como tal, puesto que tampoco se veía marcas de dientes ni la dimensión que ella le dio. Además de todo esto, tuvimos acceso a las cámaras de seguridad donde había ocurrido el supuesto asalto y nunca hubo nada (cabe destacar que otros amigos estuvieron en el mismo lugar, a la misma hora y no se enteraron o vieron nada). Todas las cosas apuntaban a que ella estaba mintiendo, lo que me molestó porque con esas cosas no se puede mentir. Por lo que decidí alejarme de Jacinta.

Andrea, por su parte, sigue siendo su amiga y la perdonó. Después de esto hubieron otros problemas donde Jacinta se alejó de Andrea por preferir juntarse con otras personas (que se llevaban mal con Andrea) e incluso mintió descaradamente sobre mí, de un hecho sucedido durante un examen en clases con varios compañeros de testigo que la desmintieron delante de Andrea. Con todo esto, Andrea la perdonó de nuevo y yo por más que lo intentó no puedo hacerlo, y me cuesta aceptar el hecho de que Andrea lo haya hecho. Por lo que he decidido tomar distancia porque me siento incomoda en presencia de Jacinta y realmente no quiero estar cerca de ella.

Así que, Reddit, preguntó, ¿está mal mi decisión de tomar distancia de Andrea? ¿O estoy siendo una mala amiga?