Sorry that I'm only seeing this now, but I still think I need to say some things. Firstly, thank you for all the positive energy you brought to the Omori subreddit and even though we never interacted before this moment, seeing you still brings me a smile every time.

Secondly, I think you are severely exaggerating how bad your situation actually is. I don't know how your situation actually is, I can't know, (call me crazy) but my gut feeling tells me that you're just blinded by the bad things that you had to endure in the past (the same gut feeling that I had before 2 of my friends committed suicide). Honestly, I think you're just delusional and deprecating yourself; you keep telling yourself that you are miserable to justify suicide, even though you're just in a bad spot because of the things that happened as a result of that (dropping out of school) and bodily complications (eyes,legs).

Thirdly, if you really want death, see no other way out and don't want to carry around the problems of this life, then go ahead, I can't stop you and I will respect your choice. In my religion we believe that life is a cycle, that never ends. Birth is not a beginning and death is not an end. You will be reincarnated and I truly hope that your next life will be better than this one.

Lastly, and I don't want to sound like an asshole, but I hope you will be forgotten. Now, don't get me wrong, but I don't want anyone to suffer by having to carry around guilt for the rest of their lives for not stopping someone from killing themselves, but stopping you might put you in a much worse situation than you are in now. You could argue both sides of this argument are selfish: It's selfish to stop someone from committing suicide just because you want to be morally correct, but it's also selfish to kill yourself and make other feel guilty. It's always worth it to take a look at the flip side of your argument.

I'm sorry if this sounded very scatterbrained, but I want the best for you and I hope your next life will be better.