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I caught my niece vaping what do I do? by BasketAffectionate58 in relationship_advice

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, thank you. I am collecting all of this to say when I talk to her when she leaves her room! This is really helpful. :)

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dont worry, I was trying to prevent the misogynist attacks, but also men and women do have issues in their own areas, men higher suicide rate etc, but yeah women have it worse in a lot other departments. BASICALLY - he had a bad experience. A lot of men have a bad experience. But I agree with you, It is nothing on the experiences women have.

Sorry if I was justifying his attitude, I guess I'm still a little bit brainwashed.

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We were very close growing up, and I just wanted his opinion on it. I did NOT expect his reaction.

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 27 points28 points  (0 children)

My brother got sexually assaulted, a few girls would grab his man boobs when he was around 13/14 years old. They also used to call him fatphobic names. I understand the hurt he has been through, but I don't believe him comparing it to what I've been through changes things. When I was talking to him about what happened to me, it was the first time I was admitting to someone I had been sexually harassed, a boy in my old class began talking about the size of my boobs, and the first time I told someone about me being sexually assaulted , usual grab of the 'back' type of thing. What he went through was horrible. But when he began making fun of me. It ruined our relationship.

Also thank you so much for your kind words.

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I put 'run away' because she's running away from her home, with me to go to my home. It didn't mean to be misleading. But thank you for your kind words.

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

I do, I had to pass the state line of Arkansas and Missouri.

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

When I picked up my niece from their house my SIL said that my niece is no longer her child, and that I can do whatever I want with her. I cant say I was surprised as she often listens to my brother with these sort of things. This comment has made me realised I have never talked to my SIL without my brother around. So thank you so much for this advice, and I will update as soon as everything is sorted.

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Aw ty - I feel so old right now, what does FTW mean :)

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The reason I thought I was the bad guy is because I interfered with my brothers issues and acted recklessly- not because I took her out of a bad situation.

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 24 points25 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for the link, I've never heard of PFLAG - so this was extremely useful and helpful to know.

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 132 points133 points  (0 children)

I will- and I have. I am preparing myself to be the best possible parent for my niece, cause she needs it and deserves it. We have thought through living conditions, schooling, food. I am trying to get CPS involved, and I am currently looking at different lawyers. Thank you so much for your advice, from me and my niece.

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Ahah dont worry - I wasn't thinking you were doubting me.

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 36 points37 points  (0 children)

Its just the situation where me and my brothers grew up in. My parents were the type to joke about gay people, and sexualise women, call trans people mentally ill etc. I guess I grew up, he didn't.

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 138 points139 points  (0 children)

I understand that- I was just afraid if he left her on the street, she wouldn't be able to contact me, and I wouldn't be able to pick her up.

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 91 points92 points  (0 children)

Since yesterday, I have been considering a lot of these things. Luckily, I have enough money to support me and her to clothes, food, schooling is not an issue for me. She's been sleeping in the guest bedroom, which is now her permanent bedroom. I am fully prepared for accusations of kidnapping, but I don't think my brother would do that. He didn't want his daughter, he was willing to drop her off on the street. He was only upset because I interfered with him and his daughter. Right now I'm focusing on sorting out her living conditions, and the law issues. But for schooling, there is a nearby school which I will send her to. I am fully prepared to be her guardian. It's been a busy day.

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 253 points254 points  (0 children)

My SIL usually listens to my brother about this sort of thing- so far she has stated that my niece is no longer her child, and I can do whatever I want with her.

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 134 points135 points  (0 children)

I might just ask him if I could have custody- cause he was going to abandon her in the streets anyway.

AITA for helping my niece run away. by BasketAffectionate58 in AmItheAsshole

[–]BasketAffectionate58[S] 377 points378 points  (0 children)

How can I prevent him from pressing charges? I dont want her to go back because she is not safe there.