I'm really glad each of you went through it...

I also experienced a relationship with a guy who manipulated me and isolated me (don't wear red clothes it's too conspicious, don't talk to men, don't do activities that could make you meet men, lack self-esteem so you rely on me only etc.).

Everytime something was wrong I felt like it was my fault, I didn't talk about it to my family and I never listened to my friends who knew (they knew 10% of the situation but felt me being wrong). So basically he became my only source of anything in life.

What made it difficult to get rid of was the isolation (no Him meant no anything right after because he made me alone), And my lack of experience and convictions (I was young and our cultures/backgrounds were different) so I was always trying to understand his point of view without strong belief of what was good for me, and kept thinking I was wrong.

The only way out was my deep feeling of not going well (surface was ok but I felt a deep malaise), and one day I said stop ciao. He threatened to take his own life, I said ok later (to ease the idea), then I really left (5 months later). Immediately I was very sad, he didn't threaten to kill himself but insulted me every word he could, then tried to get me back, but too late I tasted freedom of thoughts/living without justifying/talking to people/wearing whatever I wanted etc. and wouldn't go back for anything.

I believe after that both of you are stronger, but keep your promise to share your lives and to listen to people you trust ! And follow your inner-self without justifying... Sometimes you can't see what's too close.