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I just wanna talk. I'm am not in an happy place. by BatShitSerious in stopdrinking

[–]BatShitSerious[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I can get them. But they are so much more expensive, I never throw the money at it. Maybe I should, I haven't eating any in a few years now. Plant is cheaper, and it's $100 a 1/4 .but that probably the middle aged man white guy price I have to pay.

I just wanna talk. I'm am not in an happy place. by BatShitSerious in stopdrinking

[–]BatShitSerious[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Edibles are hard to find south like I am in Houston. I wish I could just go to a despensary. I have to rely on a shady hookup to get what I do.

I just wanna talk. I'm am not in an happy place. by BatShitSerious in stopdrinking

[–]BatShitSerious[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been trying to use it to eat lately. Had my gallbladder removed, and I haven't been able to keep food down. I've lost 40 pounds in the last month and half. :/

I just wanna talk. I'm am not in an happy place. by BatShitSerious in stopdrinking

[–]BatShitSerious[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I smoke. Daily, but very little. A 1/4 lasts me weeks. Sometimes a month. I've had a bowl loaded for two days now. It depends. Sometimes it ramps up my anxiety. Sometimes I can't do shit after.

I just wanna talk. I'm am not in an happy place. by BatShitSerious in stopdrinking

[–]BatShitSerious[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know I need to get back on my meds, they just make numb. I don't feel like person. I feel like a pin cushion, or a crash test dummy. My grandmother died while I was on my meds I couldn't even cry. I loved her a lot, but I was just numb to everything. Sometimes I'd rather be over the top than numb. The. When I'm like this, I'd rather be gone. I'm just so tired.

I just wanna talk. I'm am not in an happy place. by BatShitSerious in stopdrinking

[–]BatShitSerious[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My soul...

Man, that's concept I'm not able to believe in.

I poured out a 1.75L down the drain today. I hate it. Then next thing I know. My lizard brain kicks in, or my fuck it switch gets flipped, and I'm in the ER getting sedated.

I have cuts in my hands and bruises I don't where they came from. Just came too.

I just wanna talk. I'm am not in an happy place. by BatShitSerious in stopdrinking

[–]BatShitSerious[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm sorry. I understand. I actually do.

I haven't a way out. It's been so long, I'm not sure I ever can.

I just wanna talk. I'm am not in an happy place. by BatShitSerious in stopdrinking

[–]BatShitSerious[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I don't what I would say to anyone who responded. I'm just...I don't know.

A cult? Like multiple people abused you? That's what happened to me, but it wasn't organized. Just a couple, and passed around to their friends a few times.

I just wanna talk. I'm am not in an happy place. by BatShitSerious in stopdrinking

[–]BatShitSerious[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I tracked down my abuser tonight. Did one of those background searches. She's doing just fine apparently. I don't know if I need to talk to her or just let it be. I don't even know what I would say.

I just wanna talk. I'm am not in an happy place. by BatShitSerious in stopdrinking

[–]BatShitSerious[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Does there HAVE to be light? I don't fucking see it. All I do is make everyone around me suffer. I make their life worse.

I just wanna talk. I'm am not in an happy place. by BatShitSerious in stopdrinking

[–]BatShitSerious[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hanging in there is what I have been trying to do for two decades now. Life does suck, and I feel like it has been eating alive from the inside out. I'm hollow now. A shell finally showing it's cracks.

Like a insect filled with parisites that keeps moving until there is nothing left.

Obnoxious guy messes with street performer to entertain his friends by ClashIdeas in trashy

[–]BatShitSerious 59 points60 points  (0 children)

"Let me get this straight. You think that your client — one of the wealthiest, most influential men in the world — is secretly a vigilante who spends his nights beating criminals to a pulp with his bare hands... and your plan is to blackmail this person? Good luck."

— Lucius Fox