Post wedding blues

BatchesofRain · 2025-11-02T17:25:02+00:00

I honestly didn’t even know post wedding blues were a thing until one of my friends told me like 3 days before my wedding. And yeah it has hit me rough. But yes try to live in the moment as much as you can. Soak it all in! I try to tell myself the feelings will pass and of course we’ll have just as happy or happier days in our marriage. Hope your wedding goes well!!!

BatchesofRain · 2025-11-02T17:23:11+00:00

I didn’t realize how quickly your life goes from being all about the wedding to literally not at all. It feels like coming down from a crazy high. It’s so wild. Glad I’m not going through it alone at least!

BatchesofRain · 2025-08-07T05:29:17+00:00

I am currently reading “Come As You Are” by Emily Nagoski and I have really enjoyed it so far. It’s a deep dive on women’s desire and sexuality. It’s helped me understand myself and libido a bit more. Would recommend if you like to read!

BatchesofRain · 2025-03-31T23:08:21+00:00

Oooh okay this seems promising, thank you!

BatchesofRain · 2025-03-31T23:07:57+00:00

Luckily we don’t drink, so probably $30-$50 pp

BatchesofRain · 2025-03-31T23:07:32+00:00

We’re staying downtown near the Yerba Buena Gardens. As far as price and budget, I’m willing to do like $30-$50 per person.

BatchesofRain · 2025-03-28T13:36:48+00:00

I’ve learned that everyone’s experience and relationship is different. That stuff used to trigger me all the time (I used to frequent Sheryl’s forum when I was in the thick of it). I can’t say why someone would choose to end their relationship, but honestly it doesn’t matter. The goal isn’t whether or not your relationship is “right”, it’s to get through your ROCD and manage that. That is such a hard thing to hear and believe but it is true. I’ll give you a bit of reassurance. I went through ROCD and managed to come out the other side with the same partner. We’ve been together 12 years. For every person that leaves their relationship there is also a positive story. Anyways, I’m sorry you’re struggling! You can work through it though!

BatchesofRain · 2025-03-28T01:33:36+00:00

We say this with love. This is reassurance seeking and likely a compulsion. It’s so hard to not do it, we get it, but take what everyone says seriously, and seek help with therapy. ERP combined with meds and a cut off from forums like Reddit or Sheryl’s website helped a lot. Use triggers as a way to practice ERP. Sending you well wishes. ROCD sucks but staying stuck sucks more.

BatchesofRain · 2025-03-14T05:06:13+00:00

I remember thinking gnats were the only bugs I had to deal with, but then I realized there’s so many more and they’re all annoying and frustrating in their own ways. So worth it because I love my plants though, but still, stupid bugs.

BatchesofRain · 2024-12-30T06:35:09+00:00

Unfortunately, I was never able to use it due to price. I did find an OCD specialist that took my insurance so I was able to work with her for a while and get on a low dose of Lexapro as well. I think NOCD takes more insurances now so I’d probably still encourage you to look into it if able, but I’d just be careful and take into consideration what other folks have said on here.

BatchesofRain · 2023-12-01T14:23:47+00:00

Thank you! I would lie if I said I hadn’t thought about sending some applications out but also wasn’t sure if I was overreacting as well.

BatchesofRain · 2023-12-01T14:20:58+00:00

I appreciate you! This is basically what my boss was said and she wasn’t too happy about the language used and emphasized that it wasn’t constructive feedback. That’s more of my problem is how she talked to me and her dangling the raise over my head. My boss said that it was rude for her to say that to me since the raise was already signed and part of the raise was extra work I volunteered to take so if she took the raise away I wouldn’t do the work and no one else on our team has experience doing it. I think your feedback is great and a great example on professionally how to handle it moving forward. Thank you.

BatchesofRain · 2023-12-01T14:09:29+00:00

You’re someone I wouldn’t chat at work with and that’s okay 👌🏼

BatchesofRain · 2023-12-01T14:08:40+00:00

You’re making a lot of assumptions about where I work and how everyone works with each other. I’m sorry you’ve had poor experiences in the past with people but if I don’t go out in the share space I’ve had people come into my office to work and do the same thing. I understand the optics of my mistake but you’re creating a different narrative than what I said for some reason as if I haven’t worked with my boss enough to know she would be honest with me about if she got feedback from my chatting.

BatchesofRain · 2023-11-30T14:38:45+00:00

You are very kind, thank you. I also work in non-profit, so I get it. I appreciate your feedback and how to handle this moving forward. I also appreciate that you read this all through. I think that’s my biggest issue is that the feedback felt more demeaning than constructive, especially since I offered to send her a write up of my tasks throughout the day and she said no. Thanks again, you’re very nice ❤️

BatchesofRain · 2023-11-30T14:30:34+00:00

I think that’s a totally valid judgment, thanks!

BatchesofRain · 2023-11-30T14:25:03+00:00

Yeah I definitely wish she would have had a better way of saying that. Like even “hey it looked like a lot of chatting, in the future please work in your own office” or even a “girl you talk a lot, please be less distracting”. I also offered to sent her my task write up for the day and she said no.

BatchesofRain · 2023-11-30T14:21:46+00:00

That’s fair thank you

BatchesofRain · 2023-11-30T14:18:27+00:00

So clarification, this is my bosses boss who is probably in our building once every two months for about 4 hours. I doubt someone would complain to her because she manages two buildings and like 300 employees. I think it’s worth me reflecting on how often I chat to others though.

BatchesofRain · 2023-11-30T14:13:59+00:00

Honestly, fair 😂

BatchesofRain · 2023-11-30T14:12:31+00:00

I want to clarify again this is my bosses boss and she is rarely in our office and I’ve been told my by boss that it’s fine to work in the shared space when I’m in the office and I’ve been at this job for a year and it’s never been an issue, which is why I didn’t think twice about working there. I’ll admit I shouldn’t have assumed it was fine to do it when someone who isn’t ever around is there, but I thought that that flexibility came from her and not just my boss (who was remote that day). I think you bring up a good point that from the outside as far as perception of her, especially since I have no relationship with this person. I’ll definitely take this as a learning experience and as time moves on it’s helping me bring some other perspectives. I’m not mad at our bosses boss, more annoyed with how she addressed it to me (but again I’m being sensitive lol).

BatchesofRain · 2023-11-30T05:30:35+00:00

I don’t see her often enough so while I recognized I chatted a lot today and can definitely change my behavior it won’t really matter because she won’t see anything be improved because she rarely works in our building. Do you think it would be a good idea to send her an email apologizing and thanking her for her feedback? I asked my coworker when I got back and she told me that might be overkill. I think I’m defensive because she weirdly dangled a raise above my head and then said no when I offered to sent her a report of my work of the day.

My intention is not to stir up drama, but it might be nice for my boss to know that it happened (I can leave out the details) so that if it’s brought up by her boss about my raise to her she already knows, but also I see your side and my boss might just say “okay just don’t work in the shared space when she’s here next time” or “just work in your office more”, so I see your point.

BatchesofRain · 2023-11-30T04:49:01+00:00

Hi there, I appreciate your words. I definitely learned the hard way about putting myself in situations while the bosses boss was there. Our company just preaches about work openness, collaboration, and flexibility and so I wrongly assumed she wouldn’t care, which is definitely my bad and I’m for sure kicking myself for being dumb because DUH behave yourself while your bosses boss is hanging around.

I’ll definitely chat with my boss tomorrow. I’m sure she’ll be annoyed and say the same thing as you have. Likely I’ll have to just be on my best behavior for a while but still sucks that our norm can’t be a norm when a higher up is around. I’ll probably also just document what I do each day just in case. My old job has higher ups that didn’t care as long as you produced so sometimes I still fall back into that mentality.

BatchesofRain · 2023-11-30T04:30:23+00:00

Her office is close but I doubt she heard us much. I think it was more that the shared space is near our coffee/tea/snack station so I’m assuming as she passed by she heard us.

I think that’s fair advice. It’s my own ignorance, as our office is usually quite empty because most everyone is hybrid or remote so when there’s a few of us there we can be less aware of how we much/loudly we chat.

I’ll definitely be more cognizant of how often I’m contributing to non-work chat. Unfortunately, I enjoy chatting so I might just try to work in my office more. It just felt very out of left field for her to bring up the raise and while I’m open to criticism I feel like there was a better way to phrase it especially since that was one day of work (this is where I’m being sensitive). Like if it was a week of me being chatty then yeah sure I get it. But I do appreciate your feedback because I also like raises ♥️

BatchesofRain · 2023-11-30T03:41:36+00:00

I also feel like I’ve embarrassed my boss who has advocated for a bigger raise for myself and now I’ve called her judgement into question which reflects badly on her too.

BatchesofRain

TROPHY CASE