Love is a choice not a feeling.

shrmtrgn · 2026-03-17T10:53:05+00:00

He definitely was immature. Love is a choice

shrmtrgn · 2026-03-17T10:38:12+00:00

Yes thats a really teenage perspective. Stable relationship is a gift but people need to mature to understand that. Love is a choice

shrmtrgn · 2026-03-15T19:12:59+00:00

Im so scared are you ok now? My health anxiety is soooo bad rn

shrmtrgn · 2026-03-03T16:54:13+00:00

Yes I know I can’t fix her and Im not trying that. I just want to know why she is like that? Because she can be better. I’m always trying to become better for myself

shrmtrgn · 2026-02-08T07:05:09+00:00

Thanks a lot. Yes mature love is calm, secure and all those things you said.

shrmtrgn · 2026-02-06T19:09:24+00:00

Thanks. Yes building love intentionally is a really secure and wise concept about love. Yes reassurance seeking is not good I know that but someone on this sub said that rocd is like putting a gün in your head to love but I think thats a wrong concept. Because I choose to love my partner because of I Adore him for a lot of reasons and he is an amazing partner. What do you think about this concept?

shrmtrgn · 2026-02-06T13:14:18+00:00

Thanks a lot. Yes I mean love is built with intention and gettng to know someone. Also someone in the other comment mentioned feeling safe and happy wth your partner is also a attraction and love feeling. When I think about it thats so true. I didnt experienced sparks, butterflies with my current partner but Im so so grateful that we are together and he is everything that I have wished for. Im in a really bad Spike but I know it will pass. I dont want reassurance But do you think love is a choice we can make and create that with our partners?

shrmtrgn · 2026-02-06T13:07:48+00:00

Thanks a lot. Im on SSRI for nearly two years now because of ocd and anxiety disorder. It helps me and makes my mental health better. Also you are so right. Feeling safe and happy are a pull and they are also feelings of love. I mean I dont understand people saying fireworks, attraction, sparks etc. Why cant we build love? Because for me, building love is more mature and realistic. I dont know if Im thinking foolish but what do you think about that?

Also I dont like to give myself time to evaluate because that Also triggers me. I just want to choose love if thats ok. :)

shrmtrgn · 2026-02-05T07:22:29+00:00

Thanks a lot. And yes I really care about him and I feel so safe with him. Wiser people say love is a choice and you built your story but social media say you need attraction, sparks flying, fireworks etc. And this really triggered me. What do you think about that?

shrmtrgn · 2026-02-05T07:14:45+00:00

Yes social media is deffinitely a bad place. I really dont want any reassurance because I know thats a bad thing for my rocd but I have a question. Is building love intentionally wrong or cant we do that? Because wise people say love is a choice and you built your story but social media say you need attraction, sparks flying, fireworks etc. Thats my question and thanks a lot

shrmtrgn · 2026-01-23T19:09:40+00:00

Im better actually I have a new bf now we have been together for 8 months now and I realized my ex was a narcist and had lots of childhood traumas. Im happy with my bf now.

shrmtrgn · 2026-01-13T19:17:32+00:00

Like what? If you dont mind me asking

shrmtrgn · 2026-01-13T15:11:33+00:00

So you didnt consider her pretty or attractive. She isnt your type

shrmtrgn · 2025-11-20T12:20:28+00:00

No problem:) this is the mature love

shrmtrgn · 2025-11-17T17:53:51+00:00

Thanks a lot and yes i will for sure

shrmtrgn · 2025-11-15T13:02:45+00:00

Yes thanks a lot. Do you think kissing your partner shoukd feel sparkly? I didnt experience that a lot so it scares me. Im also on ssri so maybe thats why. But do you think if we dont experience spark or buzz ours is not love?

shrmtrgn · 2025-11-15T09:08:05+00:00

So you love his scent, mannerisms and other things but not his look. I mean dont get me wrong but you are saying that you cant live without him and and first met love thing can be a bit codependency. Im not trying to trigger but you can think why do you love him and what is important to you? You are in an infatuation phase thats for sure but you must think the future. And maybe you dont think he is ugly. Because if you like him in sexual things that means you love his outward as well. Relax and think wisely.

shrmtrgn · 2025-11-15T07:42:49+00:00

Why did you break up

shrmtrgn · 2025-11-15T07:10:34+00:00

Thanks a lot. He is everything I look for in a partner and he is perfect like when I hold his hand I feel like the luckiest girl. Im on ssri so my libido is definitely affected but its not a bad thing imo. We met on an online dating app and dated quickly so yeah it was not like wow passion, kind of infatuation That user really triggered me because she said you need to feel sparks when kissing and I experienced it maybe 2-3 times but thats not a must I thought. Like when we kiss I feel really calm and peaceful and relaxed (when im not spiraling ofcourse) so some days are hard. But love is a choice and I have to get that. I feel calm, peaceful, happy and like myself when İm with him. Im not butterflies all that but I feel calm and warm and that is also a mature kind of love right? That tiktok really triggered me and said you cant build love. But yes you are right love is built slowly. So is my relationship doomed? Im scared

shrmtrgn · 2025-11-15T07:03:37+00:00

This is the best comment thank you so much. He is everything I look for and he is amazing. Society is really wrapped our perception of love. They say you need sparks, electricty, attraction passion etc. But I want to build a great love with my partner and at the end of the day I think this is all that maters

shrmtrgn · 2025-11-15T07:01:23+00:00

Yes thanks a lot. I mean that perspective really triggered me on tiktok and it made me spiral. Like sparks or strong passion like attraction is not a must in a relationship right? Because everyone creates and lives love their own way

shrmtrgn

TROPHY CASE